I'm sort of like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast in
that I'm reclusive, ill-tempered, and physically imposing. Also
like the Beast, I live in an enchanted doom fortress in the middle
of a magical French forest. Sadly, I don't become a beautiful Aryan
prince when kissed. No one's perfect, I suppose.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm an aspiring writer and film critic. And yes, the word
"aspiring" is code for "I have no money", so I can't buy you
anything. If you want to meet up, we can just sit in a public place
and make snarky comments about random passerby. The best things in
life really are free.
I’m really good at
Bitching about movies and making myself look like an ass on the
The first things people usually notice about me
My smile. :) Or the metallic octopus arms that got welded to my
back in a tragic lab accident. Either one, really.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Great Gatsby, Watchmen, The Lord of the Flies, Robert E.
Howard's original Conan cannon, and Hamlet.
Movies: Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, Dr. Strangelove, The Empire
Strikes Back, Goldfinger, The Dark Knight, Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Aliens, Terminator 2, and pretty much anything directed by
Shows: Star Trek: TNG, Doctor Who, Firefly, Seinfeld, MST3K, DBZ,
and the 90's Batman cartoon.
Music: The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Smashing Pumpkins, and
Food: Anything edible that doesn't involve celery and green peppers
or any other nasty shit I don't like.
The six things I could never do without
2. John Malkovich
3. The o-zone layer
4. Ron Perlman
I spend a lot of time thinking about
String theory, my inferiority in the grand scheme of the universe,
and how much emoticons piss me off.
On a typical Friday night I am
rearranging my absurdly massive DVD collection or something equally
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Beneath my cold, dark exterior lies a soft, gentle interior. And
beneath that kind interior lies another cold, dark interior. I'm
all deep and shit like that. Also, Spock's death scene in Star Trek
II makes my eyes misty.
You should message me if
you somehow made it this far and you're still inexplicably
interested. It would also be nice if you weren't a screeching harpy
woman, but if you got past the first paragraph without backing out
you're probably the coolest person ever.