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27 • M • Saint Louis, MO
- Last Online
- Yesterday – 1:12pm
- 5′ 8″ (1.73m)
- Body Type
- Strictly anything
- Not at all
- Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
- Graduated from two-year college
- Sales / Marketing
- Relationship Status
- Relationship Type
- Doesn’t have kids
- Has cats
- English, Sign Language (Fluently)
Otherwise, belly laughing at most things.
I'm not good at idioms. I once tried to use the idiom "bring home the bacon" but went with "bring home the bread". I couldn't remember where the bread came from, until a friend told me it was "bread winner". I have recently come to learn that mixing up idioms like this is called a "malaphor". Thanks for creating words for the shit I do, internet!
I also am pretty full of energy and generally lighthearted. I like to make jokes and make people laugh and feel good. So, I'd say those things.
It could also be how fast I talk and move. It doesn't feel like I'm going that fast, but if you compare me to other people, I'm going a mile a minute.
Some people say I look like me dad. ~~~ really nobody commented on this? It's obvi a lyric from the GENIUS song "C'est La Vie" from the short-lived Irish girl group B*Witched. Y'ALL REMEMBER THEM, RIGHT?
After I shaved my 5 month beard people told me I looked mad. I told them it was my resting face. A day in the life of chronic bitch face.
Old ladies always seem to mention my septum ring if I'm wearing it out.
Here are some tidbits from actual people to help you out:
• You are literally a muppet.
• Are you that friend that everyone wants around but is also secretly embarrassed about?
• No, you've always been literally insane.
• You are the entire cast of Cats.
• You are a grandma.
• I just realized you are the love child of Lumpy Space Princess and Jenna Maroney.
• You look like a young Yukon Cornelius.
• You're like "grandpa-meets-the-klurb"
• You're not even a real human.
R.I.P.: 30 Rock, Happy Endings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, Angel (seasons 2 - 4 only, let's get really real)
Currently: Bob's Burgers, Parks and Rec, How I Met Your Mother, New Girl, The Mindy Project, So You Think You Can Dance, 2 Broke Girl$, Project Runway, Modern Family, Masters of Sex, Witches of East End, America's Next Top Model, Supernatural
Laura Veirs, Basia Bulat, Joanna Newsom, Fiona Apple, Caroline Smith & the Good Night Sleeps, The Tallest Man on Earth, Marina and the Diamonds, Sia.
Recently, "Jolene" by Dolly on repeat.
I dig a lot of female vocalists with folk roots. I also love top 40 and country, and I don't understand it. I am always looking for new music to listen to, so give me all of your favorites! Also, my last.fm might help you see a bigger picture. Don't be this guy.
Food: Yes, all of it. I'm not very picky and enjoy trying out as many new foods as I can. Though, all time favorite is a classic cheese pizza. If you fancy yourself a pizza connoisseur, let's have a chat. Also, I'll eat most things, especially whatever you don't finish. I'm basically a human garbage disposal.
a. A cardigan
b. Some cat snugs
c. Lots & lots of water
e. Belly laughs
f. Coffee/unsweetened tea/caffeine in general
g. Google maps
h. Family -- immediate, extended, friends, cats
i. My glasses?
j. Pineapple & jalapeño pizza (don't knock it until you try it!)
How do I stop yelling?
Why am I not Bianca Del Rio?
I did an advanced search for people that dislike cats and hid all of them. Not sorry about it.
I cuff/roll almost everything I wear. Pant legs, shorts, sleeves, and so on.
I mark most questions as "irrelevant"
I find double jointed thumbs to be terrifying. Please keep your thumbs in the upright position.
I'm also terrified of cotton balls. The terrible feeling of it in my fingers is like your nails on a chalkboard or silverware on a plate. Get it away from me.
- Guys who like guys
- Ages 22–35
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
• you have deep thoughts about pizza and want to discuss them
• you want to meet my cats
• you want me to meet your cats
• you have some sweet new tunes for me to listen to
• you aren't caught up in this ridiculous idea of masculinity/femininity and realize that is heteronormitive and detrimental to the lgbtq community
• you want to say something more than "hello" :)
• you want to hang out. no, srsly, message me and ask me to, i will probably say yes
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