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28 Saint Louis, MO Man


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 22–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 2:12pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Sales / Marketing
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English, Sign Language (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

Also, this
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Playing in a queer concert band and aspiring to be a circus performer.

Otherwise, belly laughing at most things.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm great at making corny, old man jokes and then laughing directly afterwards because I think I'm hilarious. Seriously, y'all, my best friend told me I'm a dad. A DAD, I MAKE DAD JOKES, IS THIS MY LIFE? I'm okay with it, whatever.

I'm not good at idioms. I once tried to use the idiom "bring home the bacon" but went with "bring home the bread". I couldn't remember where the bread came from, until a friend told me it was "bread winner". I have come to learn that mixing up idioms like this is called a "malaphor". Thanks for creating words for the shit I do, internet!

I'm probably the best at giving my handsome kitty man kisses.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I tend to be pretty loud. My coworkers used tell me to stop screaming, but I just told them I was projecting.

I also am pretty full of energy and generally lighthearted. I like to make jokes and make people laugh and feel good. So, I'd say those things.

It could also be how fast I talk and move. It doesn't feel like I'm going that fast, but if you compare me to other people, I'm going a mile a minute.

Some people say I look like me dad. ~~~ really nobody commented on this? It's obvi a lyric from the GENIUS song "C'est La Vie" from the short-lived Irish girl group B*Witched. Y'ALL REMEMBER THEM, RIGHT?

Whenever I shave off a hefty beard people tell me I look mad. It's just my resting face.

Old ladies always seem to mention my septum ring if I'm wearing it out.

Here are some tidbits from actual people to help you out:
• You are literally a muppet.
• Are you that friend that everyone wants around but is also secretly embarrassed about?
• No, you've always been literally insane.
• You are the entire cast of Cats.
• You are a grandma.
• I just realized you are the love child of Lumpy Space Princess and Jenna Maroney.
• You look like a young Yukon Cornelius.
• You're like "grandpa-meets-the-klurb"
• You're not even a real human.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: Spaceballs, Spice World, Clueless, Mean Girls, Any Pixar/Dreamworks/etc animated movie. Yes, I have mostly terrible taste in movies.

R.I.P.: 30 Rock, Happy Endings, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, Angel (seasons 2 - 4 only, let's get really real), How I Met Your Mother
Currently: Bob's Burgers, Parks and Rec, New Girl, The Mindy Project, So You Think You Can Dance, 2 Broke Girl$, Project Runway, Modern Family, Masters of Sex, Witches of East End, America's Next Top Model, Supernatural, Grimm, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, RuPaul's Drag Race
Recently Binged on Netflix: The 100, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, The Vampire Diaries

Laura Veirs, Basia Bulat, Joanna Newsom, Fiona Apple, Caroline Smith & the Good Night Sleeps, The Tallest Man on Earth, Marina and the Diamonds, Sia.

I dig a lot of female vocalists with folk roots. I also love top 40 and country, and I don't understand it. I am always looking for new music to listen to, so give me all of your favorites! Also, my might help you see a bigger picture. Don't be this guy.

Food: Yes, all of it. I'm not very picky and enjoy trying out as many new foods as I can. Though, all time favorite is a classic cheese pizza. If you fancy yourself a pizza connoisseur, let's have a chat. Also, I'll eat most things, especially whatever you don't finish. I'm basically a human garbage disposal.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could absolutely do without some of these, but I wouldn't ever choose that life.

a. A cardigan
b. Some cat snugs
c. Lots & lots of water
d. Ukulele
e. Belly laughs
f. Coffee/unsweetened tea/caffeine in general
g. Google maps
h. Family -- immediate, extended, friends, cats
i. My glasses?
j. Pineapple & jalapeño pizza (don't knock it until you try it!)
k. Naps
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why I am literally a crazy person?

How do I stop yelling?

Why am I not Bianca Del Rio?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sometimes this, mostly this
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I did an advanced search for people that dislike cats and hid all of them. Not sorry about it.

I mark most questions as "irrelevant"

I find double jointed thumbs to be terrifying. Please keep your thumbs in the upright position.

I'm also terrified of cotton balls. The terrible feeling of it in my fingers is like your nails on a chalkboard or silverware on a plate. Get it away from me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
• you like people who make up songs (like Jessica Day from New Girl season 1, minus "adorkable" or other terrible catch phrases)
• you have deep thoughts about pizza and want to discuss them
• you want to meet my cats
• you want me to meet your cats
• you have some sweet new tunes for me to listen to
• you aren't caught up in this ridiculous idea of masculinity/femininity and realize that is heteronormitive and detrimental to the lgbtq community
• you want to say something more than "hello" :)
• you want to hang out. no, srsly, message me and ask me to, i will probably say yes