Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(I'm moving to Portland in the beginning of August)
My name isn't Cat.
I've been told I'm intimidating to approach.
I prefer my puns intended.
I have a very crude, sarcastic sense of humor. If you get it then
we both win.
I don't know how to be anything other than loud, honest, and
My IG is @sedna__
If you wanna get a better idea.
If you make it through my entire joke of a profile, and laugh
instead of getting offended then we'll get along.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Stormin through the party like my name is El Niño.
And saving to get a Shasta camper I'm gonna renovate into a mobile
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Losing interest, burning bridges, declaring people dead to me,
parking and hitting the bumper, eating cake pops, smuggling Tobasco
out of Disneyland, Getting caught dancing in my car, makin shit
awkward, reciting Iggy Azalea, talking shit with my best friend,
hatin on datin.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Vagos, Mongols and Outlaws.
The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my family (which includes my friends)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The time: sunset.
The place: woods.
The attire: flannels.
You, chopping wood while simultaneously working on your Harley. Me,
on a picnic blanket on the grass, admiring your beard glistening in
the sunlight. You wipe the sweat from your brow and offer to rustle
us up some grub. You hunt, clean, and gut a wild animal we roast
over a campfire while listening to Bright Eyes and plan our next
tattoo appointments together.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I barely find anybody attractive. I barely feel any affection for
anybody.. But when I do, I turn into Betty fucking Crocker.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can not talk about my tattoos in the first five messages and
won't treat me like a novelty to up your cool points. Message me if
you never use beans in your cooking, If you don't use the dumbass
expression "work hard play hard" or use the term "peeps". You
should message me if you can build and fix things, cause there's
nothing more attractive than a guy who works with his hands. If you
want me to monogram you a pillow. You should message me if you know
dad jokes. Message me if you wanna take me for a ride on your
motorcycle. Hibachi. If any of your aspirations include being a
park ranger. And you should definitely message me if you can guess
which parts of this profile I was joking about, and which were
I figure if you can laugh at my joke of a profile, we'll probably
get along. Then maybe we can actually get to know each other.
But most of all, you should message me if you're a punk rock Viking
from the future and you can get me to think of you while I'm
listening to "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.