23 Pittsburgh, PA
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My self-summary
New in town, more or less. Let's hang out.

I like large dogs, ambitious tattoos, bioluminescence, and the sky. I drink a lot of coffee and I'm fairly polite.
What I’m doing with my life
Mostly I just walk around and admire the flora.

I'm not going to get very far with this attitude, thank god.
I’m really good at
Henry James once hid behind a tree to avoid having to spend time with Ford Madox Ford.

Plutarch says that to force himself to study oratory, Demosthenes once shaved half his head so that he would be too embarrassed to leave his house.
The first things people usually notice about me
Malingering; vagrancy; moral turpitude; seditious acts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My ideal album would be a combination of On Avery Island, All Day, St. Vincent, Fear Fun and Hissing Fauna Are You the Destroyer. I hate food.

"If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four." - John Cage
The six things I could never do without
Hands, yachting, Joan of Arc, balconies, bears, sweet kicks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
On a typical Friday night I am
Taking the police out for a nice spaghetti dinner and wooing them with wine and song. Later I gently kiss the police in the grass beneath the countless glittering stars. As the days turn into weeks and my answering machine fills up with their unreturned calls, the police grow increasingly confused and despondent, finally spiraling into an unplumbable well of self-doubt from which they never fully recover.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Isn't the style section of the New York Times amazing?

"Soon after moving into Liberace's gaudy Las Vegas mansion in 1977, Scott Thorson, then a teenage hunk in the foster care system, learned that the jewel-smitten showman could love just as extravagantly as he decorated."

Lede for the ages, friends.
You should message me if
You should have nice shoulders and soft hair. Be kind to the elderly and unyielding to the middle aged. Drive vehicles with panache (manual transmissions are a plus, obviously). Don't be a capitalist scumbag. Ideally you know of quiet, beautiful places that are difficult to access.

If you're super hot, that's great.