Hi! I'm not going to say that I'm no good at this stuff, because I'm probably going to write a small novel over the course of the profile, and that has to count for SOME talent with writing these things.

I'm Sam. I like food, music, cooking shows and a great many other things. I have an induction range, convection oven and over 100 cookbooks that I will never be able to read through in my lifetime. I've transcribed and categorized recipes from my late Grandparents' amateur and late Father's professional culinary career on a website. And despite all this, I still am not that good of a cook. But I keep trying!

I am also a tremendous geek. I like many of the requisite nerd culture things, including but not limited to Star Wars, Star Trek, DC/Marvel heroes and villains, video games, computers, gadgets, sci-fi (The genre, not the syfy channel), science as a whole, Anime, and video game music. I am also the Goddamn Batman, secretly and only when no one is looking. I am Schrodinger's Batman.

I've also been playing the guitar (not non-stop, mind you) for 22 years now. I started at 10 and took some lessons and was off ever since. 2 years ago, I'd written (mostly on the fly) and recorded almost 50 songs, originally trying to write one new song a week. They're just instrumental, some drone on and on, but I like 'em just fine, and that's what matters, right?

I am geeky, witty, and refreshingly matter-of-fact.

I had gastric bypass surgery back in late June of 2011 and have lost a shit-ton of weight so far, with much more weight loss in the future. It's great to have energy and feel good physically again!

Geez, talking about myself in the "self-summary" part, yeah?

I like to think I'm okay at playing guitar after 20 years, I like to think that I'm exceptional at making people laugh, and I KNOW I'm exemplary at this whole enjoying life thing.

I'm reasonably tall. I've been told that I'm surprisingly charming and put people at ease quickly. I would LIKE to think it's my eyes or something like that, but I'll take charm in a pinch.

The best books I've read are Jane Eyre and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'd like to start in on the Discworld series, though. Watchmen was incredible to read, and The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One were great, as well. My favorite Shakespeare plays are Julius Caesar and Hamlet. Also, any of the 130 cookbooks that I've inherited, sitting in my bookshelf. Unfortunately, I've fallen behind on reading, having taken a back seat to internet-speed news, articles and stories. Paper books aren't on my mind much anymore, and that's a damn shame. One book I DID make the time for, though, is American On Purpose, Craig Ferguson's autobiography. Read this book, it is amazing. Sad, hopeful and hilarious at the same time. It's amazing he's still alive.

My all-time favorite movie is So I Married an Axe Murderer, but High Fidelity, Fight Club and Serenity are up there, too. I've got Avengers and the Dark Knight Rises on Blu-ray, but haven't found time for watching them yet. Yes, I'm a superhero nerd, but you knew that.

The bands that I listen to most are Pearl Jam, John Mayer Trio, Gin Blossoms, The Fratellis, Dëthkløk (The best fake cartoon metal band, also a horribly guilty pleasure), and a band that I can guarantee no one has ever heard of, The Fine Print. My musical tastes are stuck in the '90s and wearing flannel and torn jeans.

Food is a bit challenging for me right now, because of the gastric bypass. I can't drink anything until 15-30 minutes after finishing eating. I generally can only eat about a cup of food before getting full, and I'll usually stop before that. But these are all my problems, and I go every day with them, and they've lead me to eating much, much healthier and smarter. My favorite foods include omelets, grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni and cheese (stove-top, not baked, and I have Kraft dinner to thank for getting me hooked on that particular iteration), and, when I'm feeling lazy, honey nut cheerios. Delicious, delicious cold cereal.

As far as television goes, I love Iron Chef (both foreign and domestic), Chopped, Sweet Genius, American Dad, Love it or List it, Property Brothers, Lakers Basketball, and I am a late night snob. I will only watch The Late Show with David Letterman (Screw you, Leno) and probably the best show on television right now, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Dave summed up Craig's show perfectly by saying "He just keeps talking until hilarious comes out".

Sad to say, but my HDTV and DVR, even if sometimes I just have it on for background noise.

My smartphone, as I enjoy knowing exactly where I am, where I'm going, what people's phone numbers are, and what I need to draw next in Draw Something.

My Gibson SG Special guitar, and the cache of tortex sharp .60mm picks I have to go with it.

My induction range that can boil water in 90 seconds. I love it so.

My computer, because probably 90% of all my friends live in far-away places.

The aforementioned friends, who allow me to be a dick on principle and still love me for it.

...how I over-analyze things entirely too much after the fact and when I can't do anything about it anymore. This usually happens as I'm trying to drift off to sleep.

Talking with friends or cooking myself some dinner. I tend to stay in more than I go out, but that's due to having only a tiny handful of friends in the immediate area. I hope to change that soon.

I take care of my Mom, who has a litany of horrible physical ailments, and as such live at home with her. It's definitely not ideal, and it can be awkward for potential dates, but she needs help, and I'm going to take care of her, dammit.

*UPDATE* Well, I'm taking care of her long-term now, because she just had intestinal surgery and then had a heart attack in recovery. Just makes me more stir-crazy to get out of the house. This probably is a major red flag, but it's understandable if this makes you GTFO. Caring for her takes up a lot of my time, and extended family can only help so much. C'est la vie.

Just send me a message. I cannot tell you how awesome it is for a woman to initiate contact. Otherwise, if you think that I'm funny, cute or you'd just like a new friend. If things pick up from there, then that's just icing on the cake. I'm straight-forward and expect the same from you. One last thing: If you use txtspeak, dislike the fact I'm atheist, or think that I'm a project for you to fix, move along. Odds are we won't get along.