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29 Grand Rapids, MI Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-29
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Mar 31, 2014
Seeing Someone
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and it’s important
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am far from a finished product.

I like to have fun, whether that's just sitting around and watching movies or playing video games, or heading out on the town for some adventures.

I alternate between very caring and dangerously narcissistic. I may not always say or do the right thing, and I may not always seem like I care, but I always have good intentions. That said, I have a very sarcastic side to me. REALLY sarcastic. I've made my friends cry. I used to be a psych major so I tend to overanalyze things, including myself, but I'd like to think I am good at identifying my own faults, although I don't always try to fix them.

Tell me a good fart or poop story and I will laugh hysterically. Arrested development much?

Cockram is my real last name, not a lame pick-up line.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Selling dreams to kids as a pro audio salesman at Guitar Center. I have a degree from Ferris in Music Industry Management, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. That being said, I like my job (most of the time) and I am very quickly moving my way up. Most other big time goals (career, family, etc) have sort of taken a backseat for now.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
being awesome. playing guitar. telling inappropriate jokes at very appropriate times. being a jerk. quickly apologizing for said behavior. analyzing. over-analyzing. not ending sentences with prepositions. laughing. playing drums. sort of OK at playing bass.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look like Seth Rogen, supposedly.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'll keep this short because I don't really like listing all of my favorites.

Fight Club - Chuck Pahlaniuk

The Big Lebowski

How I Met Your Mother, Its Always Sunny, The League, Archer, The Office (UK and US)


Buffalo wings and IPA.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A fan near my bed
Sour Patch Kids
The Coen Brothers
Raspberry Ice Crystal Light
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether god exists
My Les Pauls
the inevitable zombie apocalypse
remembering how to spell apocalypse
if Brits call zombies "sombies"
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working or relaxing with some choice hops. Possibly karaoke(ing?).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm kind of scared of frogs.

I have restless leg syndrome.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-you fight in the war room.
-you're a real cinderella story.
-you don't call me Shirley.
-you have much to do and less time to do it in.
-you can make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs.
-you really tie the room together.
-you married Linda Cooksey.
-you'll give me asthma.
-you've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours because every other fucker in your department is fucking ill.
-you shop smart, shop S-Mart.
-you've ever fired your guns up into the air and yelled "Ahhhh".
-you don't tip.
-you're part eggplant.
-you're in lesbians with me.
-you go back and to the left.

-you can name any of the above references.

If I contact you and you are not interested, don't be rude and ignore me, because I probably won't take the hint anyways. Just tell me. I will always respond to a message.