Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

chazman2011

41 Fountain Valley, CA Man

Man

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–43
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
May 25
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
A little extra
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Management
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've been compared to Mel Brooks (hilarious, witty, Jewish, short and not so easy on the eyes). I have kind of a dry sense of humor with absolute blasts of genius. The genius is sometimes masked within my ranting tirades against anything. I have this uncanny ability to defend and condemn any point of view at the same time, It makes me one of the most accepting people alive while also one of the most judgmental. My humor is usually self deprecating as I can only really laugh at something I understand. Things I don't understand get a head shake and a nod. I break into accents at any time. It's kind of Tourette's thing but it can be fun. I Dance jigs when I'm happy or when it's your birthday and I always have 4 or 5 suits pressed and ready for emergencies. To my detriment I am a romantic.

Testimonials:

My best friends say I'm hilarious.
My ex says I'm too smart and generous for my own good.
My boss says I'm far too committed
My nieces say I'm too kind to people who wrong me
My employees say I'm fair

Little known facts:

Ronald Reagan once looked at me and said, "I can tell you are a good guy. You need a white hat." (totally true story)
I like to consider myself a surfer and haven't touched a board in 20 years
I was a feral child (raised myself from the age of 8)- sort of
I spent time in a Costa Rican detention facility (great story)
I saved someone's life
I've traveled 20 hours each way to see a friend for 2 hours when they needed it
There have been over 10 attempts on my life (natural and man made)
Fate hates me because I believe in her
I worked as a professional photographer for six months with absolutely no training. I sold one photo during that time to a top drawer magazine
The best compliment I ever received was that I was either on track to rule the world, lead a cult, or be a vagrant
2nd best compliment - "Dude, you ain't normal."
Someday I'll start an NGO that saves kids in Africa

Things you should know:

I'm in good shape but don't look it.
I'm short
I fall hard for causes and people I believe in
Unless I have kids, I will probably die broke because I gave all my money to great causes
I am a sucker for words, written or spoken
If we lived in ancient Greece I would be a weird combination of warrior and philosopher
Brains are the greatest turn on for me
I was named in a multi million dollar will, but only inherited $2
Into every life a little Neil Diamond must be played
Not into watching sports on TV (no football, live baseball, no basketball-Tennis Yes)
I love Hawaiian shirts

It has been said I'm 20% Boy Scout (I was tossed out of that particularly fascist organization) 20% James Bond, 20% improv comic, 20% lost and 20% found.

In a world of frogs....I'm just another frog but I can do a decent prince impersonation!

I'm short. I'm stocky. I can outwit most of my competition. I'm the underdog of the dating world but hell, even the underdog gets his day, right?

Well that's me in a few hundred words.

I just got back from a solo trip to Thailand (get your mind out of the gutter...no hangover 2 here) where I wrestled a tiger, rode an Elephant, snuck across the border into Laos, One of the first Americans to enter Myanmar in 30 years (Coincidentally, I was on a vip diplomatic visa great story), rode a sampan on a river, watched opium get loaded on a barge, picked and processed rice, I bought a village a festival and prayed at a temple that housed the 3rd most treasured relic of the Buddha, all while fending off attacks by ladyboys. All of this is true. I have pictures
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work full time and I am a full time student. I have returned to school after an exceptionally long break. I am constantly trying to improve myself intellectually, spirtually and most recently, physically. I, like most of my generation, am trying to find myself. We are somewhere lost in the post cold war - seattle grunge haze and are at the age where we look back fondly for what was probably not as good as we remember.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at conversation. While sometimes I am shy at first and tend to blush, once I warm up I can keep a conversation going for hours. I am also very adept at empathy. I can relate to almost anyone and sense when people need a pick me up or pep talk.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hard to say whether it is my height or my greek statue physique (so joking!).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Shows: How I met your mother, Big Bang theory, Alias, Lost, Dexter.
Books: Anything by Hemingway, Classic Russian literature translated to English poorly (someone out there will understand this comment), Almost anything by Steinbeck or a great book on English, American, Russian or Germanic history.
Foods: Sushi #1, Pho , Anything ginger flavored, including ginger, good Thai food, preferably from that little place in Chiang Mai Thailand (you know, the one by the river)
Music: Complex punk ballads and simple alternative, classical, cajun and Neil Diamond (the master of all lyrical tunes).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Iphone (Bahhhh- said the sheep)
Macbook Pro (Again...Bahhh said the sheep)
Some form of reading material
The beach (thus the ocean, I lived in Chicago-dude it's a lake not the beach)
A comfortable pair of walking shoes
Some sort of solar power to power all of my electronic leashes (i mean devices like Iphone, Laptop, etc.... not some weird sexual thing)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Politics, History, World Affairs, Social issues and really good Sushi. Whether next go round on this profile, I should be a little less honest.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either:
A. At home recovering from work
or
B. Out near the beach with friends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a weird combination of a shy, outgoing geek with a healthy splash of dork (Not that private, but really private is for later). I'm really normal, sometimes to my detriment. I suffer from nice guy syndrome and tend to be put in the "friend zone" but thats good because I have made some great friends.

I'm extremely heterosexual and comfortable with who I am. My best friends are gay and I respect their lifestyle. They have found people to love and who cares what the hardware is. You have to be ok with this to be ok for me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you understand that sometimes the finest wines are in dusty, stocky bottles with tattered labels.
Can take a joke.
Can make a joke.
Aren't offended by jokes.
You understand the cosmic meaning behind the words "goodness" and "kindness" and are working towards them or ok with someone who is
Find a sense of perfection in chaos.
Agree that tomorrow is always a new day with new opportunities.