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26 / F / Straight / Married
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Her journal posts
Jan 11, 2012
So that makes me an expert on dating and okcupid and everything
else now, right? Okay, maybe not. But I did take a
moment to compose some thoughts and tips that worked for
Answer lots and lots of questions, be sincere (but light-hearted and friendly) in your profile, be clear about what you want, and keep an open mind. Only meet in public places. Persons worried about the danger of online dating: when you go on dates and you end up getting into their car or going to their house, send a close friend their license plate number. Don't rush any meeting. Take time to talk to them: email, IM, text, phone calls, etc. If they're overly pushy about immediate meet ups, they may just be looking for booty. Be understanding of their initial awkwardness. If they're awkward in the beginning- and most people are- just smile and push past it. If they think you're understanding of them, they get less awkward. Make eye contact, but not too much eye contact (blink occasionally, it makes you way less creepy). Smile often. Don't mention "Debbie Downer" items for at least the first three dates. Remember that each message you recieve in your inbox is from a person who liked you. Even if you don't like the sender, you should still be polite.
As you start to talk to people, you'll learn what your profile is attracting and you'll learn what types of revisions you need to make. If you're turned off by bad teeth, for instance, and you start getting lots of messages from folks with bad teeth, there's a polite way to address that. The revision shouldn't be a negative. Don't go with "No bad teeth." Go with, "I have great teeth and would like the same in my partner." Or something like that. Or if you get a lot of republican flying spaghetti monster followers: "I'm politically liberal and I believe in ceiling cat. (We might get along best if you do too.)" The the people who make lists of what they don't want rather than lists of what they do want come across as bitchy/jerky and get the wrong kinds of attention.
This one's not a set in stone item, but I think it helps: Avoid using the journal function for anything other than little stuff. Posts that indicate what types of stuff you do with your time, what you did on Friday night, movies you've seen recently, things that tickle your fancy for some reason or another. You get a lot of people on here who will readily fight with you because the internet is a great tool for being rude to others.
I answered 3000+ questions. Some of those have been retired but I spent a lot of time being really in depth and honest about myself and my interests. This is the best possible thing you can do on okcupid. After I answered my 3000th question, I reviewed my matches. My top match, that day some years back, was the man who would later turn out to be my husband. I worked my arse off to get to that point. I made a lot of friends while trying to find someone I could be with. I went on a lot of dates- some with fantastic men who just didn't spark that passion in me, some with men who clearly weren't looking at all for anything I was looking for, and some in between.
Antiquated as this part sounds, if you're looking for a long term, serious, emotionally rich relationship, "taking it slow" is something you should really consider. It's not for everyone, but most people I know who are in healthy, long term relationships now, didn't rush into heavy petting and sex. They built mental and emotional connections with their significant others first. How long it takes to build that depends on the person. But no one ever suffered by pacing him/herself.
Be honest about your faults, but don't cram them down their throats. If someone has been brave enough to be so honest, don't push them about it. If a girl says she's heavy and you don't see it, you can tell her you think she's beautiful, but don't force her to argue with you that she is indeed fat.
Also, and this is just an observation I've made, someone who says "truthfully" or "honestly" abnormally often tends to be untrustworthy.
Finally, while you are supposed to be honest, you don't want to disclose so much information that you're opening yourself up to stalkers. You also don't want to share the type of information which makes you unemployable. If your name is in your profile and you state that you use drugs, employers can and will find that and you can really get in some trouble. Just keep in mind that as important as it is to be honest, you don't want to come off as someone that can't be trusted to care for house plants.
Jul 2, 2008
Jun 20, 2008
Compared to others, how skilled are you at reading people's nonverbal signals, unspoken emotions, and body language? Consider how often you notice these signals and how accurate your interpretations are.my 3000th question. how sad is it that I've spent so much time breaking the 3000 mark?
- Above average.
- Below average.
Jun 15, 2008
Should harmful tobacco products be outlawed?i don't like smoking much. or chewing tobacco. or much of anything. in fact, apart from hookahs, there are very few tobacco products that don't annoy me. but it's really a person's right to decide if they want to smell bad or risk getting cancer. i wouldn't miss tobacco if it was outlawed, but i think there are more important things for our government to regulate.
Jun 13, 2008
Would you consider dating someone who wears a wig because of hair loss?i'm not anti hair loss. i just think that if you're losing your hair -man or woman- you should just shave your head and accept the facts. a shaved head is WAY hotter than a wig/rug or comeover or any other bald cover-up solution for that matter.
Edit: excluding in cases where said person is suffering from cancer and has suffered hair loss as a result. If a wig helps them move through their already really difficult time, then I'm cool with that. My aunt passed of cancer. She just wore bandanas and went shaved in public. But I guess she was already emotionally prepared for the hair loss.
Aug 17, 2007
I do this for one reason, and it's not the lighting. I do it so that on the days that the lawn mowing and weed wacking guys come, I can stare at them in fascination. They're not particularly gorgeous or anything... But they're very entertaining.
The mower guy, he flies around on his standing riding mower. He goes so fast that I actually really question the quality of the cut job when he's done. He goes much too fast not to miss several clumps. But I imagine, that he's pretending to be racing a chariot, as there's really no need to go nearly that fast.
The wacker guy, well sometimes, as he's walking to the next weed to be wacked, he like, waves the wacker around in the air, like he's imagining fighting some creature, like 7 year olds do.
It's all very entertaining.
May 18, 2007
Apr 19, 2007
While walking down the street, you see an amazingly attractive member of the gender of your preference. He/she is completely naked and floating three feet in the air. Which do you find more intriguing?
- The fact that he/she is naked
- The fact that he/she is defying gravity
this is one of the best questions I've ever answered on okcupid.