32 Medina, OH
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My self-summary
My name is Elyria.

I am an enthusiastic adventurer. I tend to fall in love with places in the same way that most people fall in love with other people. I've never found that loving one place diminished my love for another place; each connection is unique and speaks to me with a voice all its own, though some voices are more compelling than others. And, as it turns out, that can also be true of my relationships with people. Parallels abound. I'm still discovering some of them.

I'm recently divorced from the excellent derbylittle; he and I are still friends and spend time together when our paths cross. I wandered for a few months to Flagstaff to live with my dear friend danceawhirlwind before heading to Ohio to live with my love in the wilds of Ohio.

Speaking of which - if you like urban fantasy, kickass storytelling, strong trans characters, strong female characters, the supernatural - heck, if you like books, check out Conspiracy of Angels by Michelle Belanger - the book is coming out October 27, 2015. You can preorder it on Amazon, or (best of all!) through the author's website:

If you don't like books, you might as well stop reading now. (What follows, I've been told, is a little long... even booklike.)

I'm not actively seeking additional partners just now. I tend to be most attracted to sensitive, emotionally available folks of any gender who appreciate strength of character and are up for adventure. The decision to leave monogamy behind has already been among the most challenging adventures of my life, and I'm quite pleased with it and the possibilities it offers. And maybe a little overwhelmed by the constant scheduling challenges of active poly. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about it - or! I can plug Chicago's Poly Support Group (last Saturdays, Center on Halsted, 10:30 am - 12:30 pm. And the Kinksters Support Group is the same days, 1:30 - 3:30 pm! Best discussions in Chicago!!).

In partners and friends, I value loyalty, enthusiasm, insight, curiosity, and commitment to passions. I'm happiest when I'm following my intuition through life. Those instincts often leads me in unanticipated directions, and I support others who are on - or in the process of finding - their own paths. The label I feel most comfortable claiming is that of environmentalist. To my mind, if you like the idea of humanity continuing to enjoy relative peace and prosperity, you should be one too. Or you should be working getting another planet to live on. Or both!

In somewhat less than fifteen years, I'd like to be living in a much more sustainable fashion, ideally in anearth-sheltered hobbit-hole-esque ecovillage or castle with as many dear friends, lovers, and like-minded adventurers as I can convince to join me in this great and marvelous experiment of living.

Interests include: hygge, energy work, kink, good conversations, singing, hiking, adventure, playing board games, writing, backpacking, biking, woodcarving, reading, sewing (by hand, mostly), beading, travel (anywhere), practical jokes, and public transportation.

I often think in images rather than words, which leads to some interesting poems, but also means that it can take a while for me to figure out exactly what the pictures in my brain mean, and translate them back to the kind of language we all share.

I should probably add that I am among the silliest people I know. I love my laughtergasms. Does that mean I laughsterbate? Hmmm...
What I’m doing with my life
My life goal is to help create a more sustainable society.
Figuring out exactly how to do that is a work in progress, which I currently am pursuing in four ways. More keep popping up, and it still amazes me that I've found the freedom to pursue the ones I like best.

1. I run a small professional organizing business. This job is ideal for me because it a. lets me help people while fulfilling a semi-compulsion to move stuff around, leaving me energized at the end of a day, and b. has the most ridiculously flexible schedule ever, which c. allows me to spend a goodly amount of time with the people I love. Learn more at!

2. Hygge. Defined as: the art of creating intimacy: comradeship, contentment, and coziness all rolled into one. I see this as the personal side of sustainability. Contentment via simplicity. The HyggeLit project is an outgrowth of this, my favorite obsession.

3. Plotting, scheming, and dreaming about the shape of the ecovillage / co-op / geektopia I'll eventually inhabit, and wondering how many of the people I know will eventually live there with me.

4. Researching alternatives for my newest project, the alternatives blog. Go leave a (relevant) comment or three over there, and you'll definitely get a response!

I like to go exploring outside, watch all things sci-fi, go for long walks with friends, experiment with art-forms like the conversation-poem and the dream-story, and occasionally write up my musings and contemplations. I also putter like a maniac, dance at goth clubs with dear friends, read, harmonize to all the songs I can lay hands on, bicycle at high speeds, carve wood, woodburn, craft, and plot new adventures! ...and sometimes I really do just relax...
I’m really good at
being a down-to-earth optimist. Harmonizing. Staying oriented to cardinal directions (which makes the rare occasion when I get lost even more fun). Planning. Walking and biking long distances. Finding things! Plotting and executing road trips and surprise parties. Introducing friends. Organizing places and stuff. Dredging up obscure nerdy quotes with little to no provocation. Visualizing. Solving real-life problems in comprehensive ways... I hope. Getting hired. Remembering dreams. Imitating GLaDOS. Hugging. Using my face to communicate. Instigating awesome adventure by having ideas and diving into their execution without *quite* getting all the details. Or a reliable map.

Using OKCupid to procrastinate... and then redefining my priorities such that using OKCupid doesn't count as procrastinating.

I'm *not* really good at starting fires with a bow drill, but I'd like to be.

**Update: I might be really good at reading awesome stories aloud! I've got a blog where I do exactly that: Check it out, and let me know what you think - or what stories you'd like to hear bits of.
The first things people usually notice about me
probably depend on my mood and the alignment of the stars.

The things people comment on are, without fail:

1. my pleasantly bright red hair;
2. my smile; or
3. my lovely matching Tengwar armband tattoos.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: first and foremost, Lord of the Rings and the full Tolkien pantheon. A surprisingly close second are the Robin Hobb trilogies (Assassin, Liveship, and Tawny Man). The Arthurian legends. LeGuin, Asimov, Orson Scott Card, George RR Martin / Game of Thrones (minus the football), Terry Goodkind / Sword of Truth (minus, well, several of the books entirely, and the fact that *anything* can interfere with Confession), Robert Jordan / Eye of the World or whatever it's called (minus the countless 1000s of pages where NOTHING HAPPENS).

ChaoticAkuma recently made me very happy by saying that reading epic fantasy brought me to mind. I saved his voicemail. It is itself rather epic. :)

I am also very fond of many excellently geeky environmental books like Uncommon Ground, Wilderness and the American Mind, Changes in the Land and anything by William Cronon, Emerson's "Nature", Thoreau's "Walking", all of Ed Abbey, Barry Lopez, Bill McKibben, Michael Pollan, and more... and I'm partial to books of both a more mystical and sometimes scientific bent - The Alphabet and the Goddess springs to mind. Oh, and if you're depressed about things environmental, try reading Good News for a Change: How Everyday People are Saving the Planet by David Suzuki and Holly Dressel. It's a great set of stories. And The Prize if you aren't afraid enough of oil... which you're probably not.

*And! People, if you haven't heard of it yet, or if you have and are procrastinating, or if it's a bolt from the blue, whatever - read Sex at Dawn!!!*

Movies: Wall-E, Shawshank Redemption, the Scarlet Pimpernel, Contact, the Legend of Lobo, Willow, the Princess Bride, Harold & Maude, Up, Star Wars (the real ones), Avatar, The Sting, the Fast Runner, The Last Unicorn, and again, LOTR. Including the wonderfully terrible Rankin / Bass versions.

TV shows: Bablyon 5, Firefly, Sherlock, Jeeves and Wooster, Dollhouse, House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Coupling, Bleak House, BSG, Star Trek (mostly TNG), Lost, House, Who, Seeker (a la MST3K only)... why are there so many good TV shows with the name "House" somewhere in them? Weird.

Board Games: Shadows Over Camelot, Scotland Yard, Pandemic, Werewolf/Mafia/Assassin, Ticket to Ride, PowerGrid, Carcassonne, Cards Against Humanity, Contact! (also known to some as Botticelli), Scrabble, Bananagrams (handicapped only). And a variety of other board games, most of which can be found in derbylittle's living room. :)

Music: primarily dark, lyric-oriented folk or rock. Dave Carter & Tracy Grammar, Vienna Teng, Dream Theater, REM, Chris Pureka (thank you, violetsingreen!), Dar Williams, Jonathan Coulton, Angtoria, Loreena McKennit, Death Cab for Cutie, Nightwish, Heather Dale, with recent infusions of industrial / goth like VNV Nation and the Cruxshadows from sorrowsheart. Music from the BBC radio dramatization of Lord of the Rings... and assorted musicals from Fiddler to My Fair Lady. I also know far too many lyrics from Disney tunes.

Food: I am what I call a scavenge-atarian; that is, I aim to eat meat only when it's someone else's leftovers, so I get to eat the tasty meat without causing the death of any more delicious- ahem, lovely and lively!- animals. And I adore green smoothies! Seriously, they are amazingly good with almond milk and spicings. Eternal thanks for this tasty innovation to rosesapphire! Also, FRIED PLANTAINS OH MY GOODNESS. I remembered! I have a favorite food!

I'm looking forward to growing most of my own food one day. For now, though, I find myself disenchanted with storebought munchables (except the aforementioned plantains). Such is the fate of a hobbit in an industrialized world. Sad, isn't it? Let's have a green smoothie and plot.
The six things I could never do without
- adventure!
- wildness / wilderness
- connecty conversations with friends new and old
- the color red
- magic / mystery / dreamtime / the ineffable
- the requisite leisure, freedom, and independence to enjoy all of the above

And, here are a bonus six things I'd love to do without:
- my Palantir (aka iPhone... it's damnably convenient)
- full-time employment (done!)
- close-mindedness
- summers spent roasting in Chicago
- keeping track of time
I spend a lot of time thinking about
building community. Hygge. Alternatives; see Places I've been and how they shape my thoughts. The most effective ways to save energy & resources. How to find clients via social media without annoying my friends. Also, figuring out how to recycle or reuse all the random items that come my way. Forging my own path. How to encourage people to be more actively concerned about the effects of human activities on the earth. How to balance my love of wild places, and solitude and contemplation, with my love of people. I also contemplate the heat-death of the Universe (thanks, derbylittle).

More recently, I've been thinking about mortality, kink, how to communicate difficult / intensely personal thoughts with grace, clarity, and gentleness - and how to love tenderly, boundlessly, and fearlessly. That last is also something I try to spend a lot of time *doing*.
On a typical Friday night I am
* choose four *

- in the midst of a board game or a very, very thoroughly overthought game of Resistance, because it's better than Werewolf. >}
- talking with people I care for deeply
- reading, aloud or to myself
- dancing!
- at GD2
- lifting my voice in song
- wearing red, black, or both
- dabbling in mysteries
- the Traitor
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
is that I am on Fetlife as -Elyria-
You should message me if
two or more of the statements below are true for you, AND you don't mind waiting a while for a response. My life is delightfully full of people and projects I care about deeply, and I'm not on OKC very often. I check Fet a little more often.

*I'm mostly here to make friends.

*I love nature, backpacking, bicycling, and outdoor adventure, and need to have more of them;

*I am kinky, poly, open, or curious, and like talking about my experiences or hearing about yours;

*I'd like to join in game nights that range from casual to epic;

*I am into planning (or better still, executing!) any kind of sustainable or alternative living scheme, from co-ops to ecovillages of the future, or live in one now;

*I prefer the gender and/or orientation choices on Fetlife to those on OKCupid;

*I have posted or lurked on TORn, or need to seriously geek out with someone about Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit.


If you've read this far, I will once more plug Conspiracy of Angels. Seriously. You need to go order that book. It will make me happy, and it will make you happy (well, it will make you happy if you enjoy watching characters go through a serious meat-grinder), and if you tell me what you thought of the book, I will almost certainly write back to you, if only to say thank you. :)

Helpful link for that Conspiracy order: