chehaw
43 New Brunswick, NJ
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chehaw
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My self-summary
This is what I'm looking for--someone sweeter and more refreshing than solitude. I want to be in a relationship, to give, to share, to be close to someone. To paraphrase the philosopher Jean Vanier, the goal should be to love someone as they are--without pretense, with imperfections, warts and all. I'm looking for a friend, an ally, a lover and a confidant, and I want to be the same for someone else. It should go without saying that I'm an introvert--INTJ to be exact.

I'm looking for a deep diver and a button-pusher. I want depth, connection and the kind of passion that isn't branded, lazy nonsense. That's a lot, and I can move a tad slowly, but I'm not playing small here.

I run and I bike--I completed the Richmond Marathon, and a 20-mile bike ride is a good morning spent. Call me crazy, but it's fun. Having a running/cycling partner would be great. Or having someone who understands the need to run/bike at the crack of dawn.

I'm a great friend.

I'm loyal.

I'm a good listener.

A little shy at the start, but I warm up fast.
What I’m doing with my life
I work for a newspaper in Manhattan--yes, they are still around... And I run and I bike--for fun, and to keep me out of trouble. I finished my first marathon in November in Richmond--but not sure if I want to do another. Generally, keeping my shit together the best way I can, and trying to live the questions...
I’m really good at
really listening...
The first things people usually notice about me
The eyes, and the shaved head...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Running and Being: The Total Experience; Quirkyalone: A Guide for Uncompromising Romantics; Zen and the Art of Poker, The Hero and the Blues, Comfortable With Uncertainty, The Places That Scare You, Men, Women and Worthiness

Music: Lots of jazz, lots of electronica

Food: trying to keep it healthy, but will never turn down a good burger and a good beer
The six things I could never do without
Music, a hat, my family, a book, my bicycle, good friends...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
This left me really inspired...

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/03/what-it-means-to-be-fully-human/387550/

And this...

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/08/the-combustible-love-of-an-aries/

Swiped this from someone's OKC profile; it rings true...
http://darlingmagazine.org/in-the-game-of-who-cares-less-nobody-wins/

And reading Brene Brown's work on shame and vulnerability--she's doing really important work in regard to relationships...
On a typical Friday night I am
Quietly enjoying a meal out. Or driving around and decompressing... Or getting ready for a long run Saturday morning (see above--the fun's left for Saturday night).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
A friend asked me what love is...I think it's deep care and deep concern for someone. Showing compassion for flaws and weaknesses. Allowing them to be whole and human, and giving them the safe space to whole and human, and to grow and explore. I think that's it.
You should message me if
I feel like I'm entering an exciting phase in my life where I'm growing and evolving, and I want to share that with someone special.
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