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31 M Cleveland, OH

My Details

Last Online
Jun 7
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I'm to hot to trot, and only your mom knows how good this is! you won't believe the magic i create when i'm in a room. i'm more than meets the eye, but these parts aren't robotic. you can compare me to everything you ever wanted and everyone you ever hated. best of all i'm stunning in moonlight, and my best feature is my apple bottom! to sum it up i'm the almost total package, just missing the cool.

I am super, amazing, and spontainious
What I’m doing with my life
when i'm not out tending to my ocelots, i like to walk around in my big yellow golloshes. i've been called a modern day poet by myself. if you meet me, it is only a matter of time before you ask to see my time machince. my life can best be describe as that of an angry turtle, slow but serious! if there is a fire you probably can't count on me to save the day. i like to jump rope with the neighbor girls and corben blue. i'm still trying to get back into china after the otter incident, but apparently climbing a tree with one firmly tucked in your anus is an international hate crime towards austraila.
I’m really good at

camping in the nude.

shooting laser beams at miniture ponies.

negotiating tornado chases.

flogging baby seals with spam.

rotating 180 degrees into a pool of love monkey spunk.

and everything else.
The first things people usually notice about me
my hunch back is a dead give away to the time I spent in the tower ringing the bell.

the scar from the blast at the cheeto factory is still bright orange.
The six things I could never do without

hand gestures

flying squirells

bbq jibblets

ring toss

midget porn
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what could have been if i was never brought back from space.
On a typical Friday night I am
ruling the downtown nite life with an iron thong!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a wonderfuly delicious addiction to rides on camels.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
you're ready to party!

girls and guys who wanna wake up in ditches, and not remeber how they got there.

if you have a secret love for tree otters, and ocelots.