For a long time I listed my virtues like a Boy Scout: smart, funny, centered, of great heart, own a successful small business in performing arts, have an easy masculinity that is often mistaken for straight, style is Brooks Brothers with 501s or plaid shorts. My thoughts don’t fit into a tweet. I am spiritual – as opposed to religious, and work an Al-anon program.

However, we date people, not fantasies. So maybe my imperfections are more interesting that what I like about myself: When it’s a crunch, I put my business ahead. I have high blood pressure (controlled by medication), use a C-PAP machine for my sleep apnea, and I work better when I take Viagra, which my doctor was more than eager to prescribe to me. I weigh 182 and the same doctor thinks I should weigh 165. I often want information faster than people can possibly deliver it. I don’t think I’m controlling, but what controlling person thinks they are controlling? I put off new technology because I am afraid of the learning curve involved (I am just learning the I-phone 3 and cannot contemplate the 5) but eventually come around. I can be obsessive and compulsive – and I have some envy for people who can easily let go and live in acceptance. I think that just because I did everything I was told by my parents (and their surrogates), I ought be rewarded. I am not a mind reader. However, I do my best to do my part and know that the best i can do is good enough.

I had a previous relationship of 12 years, with a guy who is still my best friend (he has a new partner).

I am emotionally available, can go down a long road, and am not easily defeated – which is what I aspire to and what I look for in others.

Spend a lot of time figuring out how to be more present for life. I've learned a lot about all this works -- and want to try out what I have learned! Happy to share any time!

my work. Being thoughtful about life. Having a good laugh.

Put together. Some real experience - both in life and on the job. People are usually at ease with me, no matter the circumstances - even when being interviewed on or a first date.

Family Evaluation (about Bowen family systems theory); Field of Dreams, A Chorus Line, Dreamgirls, mid-century vocalists, classical, Chinese.

Performing arts and music
The New York Times
Therapy
Fellowship
Meditation
Spirituality

How life works and what I can do about it.

At a meeting, working on my spirituality will a lot of my fellows, followed by dinner and frozen yogurt.

My alter ego and his friends (you'll have to meet me and get to know more about me to find out -- or spend some time in my bedroom and ask about them).

capable of a good conversation, have a career that is important to you, and have a life you experience as meaningful. When challenged, you are not easily defeated. You make choices that make your life larger. You are emotionally available and capable of going down a longer road together. And you are kind to yourself, kind to your friends and partners, and kind to waiters.