I hold many secrets. I know what "Radcliffy" means. I have a function that converts you and your profile into pennies, which I haven't used on you yet.

No power in the verse can stop me.

Oh, also! I have a HUGE crush on that girl, Queen Latifah.

I want good things to happen to people.

I'm happily married to the best girl who ever was. She comes first in my life, while I only come third in hers, behind her parents' puppy and whatever other dog is nearby.

Also, I helped create OkCupid with my friends and business partners Sam, Max, and Christian. I work a lot here. If you want to send me feedback, I'd love to hear from you. I'm slow in replying because my inbox is huge, but I'll read your note eventually.

I don't know. I can't figure it all out tonight sir, I'm just gonna hang out with your daughter.

I've decided to abridge...some recent items: bloody marys, especially from J's Oyster Bar in Portland, Maine, where I grew up. Iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts. Many, many books. I can't read non-fiction.

I buy books faster than I can read them.

gadgets, fiction, iced coffee, creative projects, video games, and tests of will.

Matching you up.

A couple years ago in Costa Rica I howled at a howler monkey until it took a big steaming green crap in its own hand and threw it on my wife.

If you're ok with my not replying for a couple weeks.