I am a genuine person trying to genuinely learn something from and offer something back to life. I feel pretty repelled by ‘ironic living.’ I have struggled mightily in my life trying to fit in, only to discover the futility and waste of trying to fit into a context (modern/postmodern corporate capitalist civilization) that one will never fit into and increasingly despises and yet has been raised to be dependent on. It’s a normal human paradox, no?

I have not arrived. I have done lots of things, and still I don’t ‘know what I’m doing’ (as in the singular focus) and I wish I did, but I am not lost. I know who I am and I know what I value, and I know what I think and feel and want. I have an extremely high level of natural curiosity. I’m assaulted by beauty and hilarity daily. It’s an interesting time for me now as I try to find a way or ways to use my “pain for the world” (as Joanna Macy calls it) creatively and constructively rather than getting hung up on and stymied by it. The wonderful thing about growing older is that the less I give a shit, the more I really… do.

- losing a lot of illusions and trying not to become cynical in the process. so far it seems to be working!
-Getting grounded. This is awesome work because I have to learn humility in being really who I am, really where I’m at in my life, when it’s not at all my idealistic vision. This should prevent me from ever becoming a character in an Errol Morris film, bonus!
-engaging with an ongoing game of hide-and-seek with what’s most real, really real, now, no, now, no..
-trying not to sound like too much of a long-winded abstract poetic over-excitable 7 year old in my write-up, yaargh...
-experimenting with new things, always, like dating, which truth be told I’ve hardly done any of (it's been fairly all-or-nothing). I’m ready to exit societally installed programs about love/sex/romance.
- placing assertiveness and yieldingness in their proper places
- noodling on various instruments & voice
- teaching a bit o yoga
- for money, making delicious local yogurt
- possibly this year building something I can live in…

- being resilient
- singing
- having conversations
- not being attached to outcomes
- seeing hidden patterns & making connections
- loving well
- dancing
- listening
- building fires
- thinking metaphorically
- procrastinating, especially bedtime
- gleaning the learning from challenging situations
- seeing through false fronts
- taking responsibility for my own shit

Hmm… I really couldn’t say - - wouldn’t mind some feedback. Ok, I will guess. Openness. Also I tend not to angle for position when I meet new people which may seem odd to some… I don’t know. An air of possible mischief. And that I laugh a lot.

shows… I haven’t watched TV much as an adult, so Kids in the Hall.

movies: Fanny and Alexander/the Seventh Seal/probably anything by Bergman, haven’t seen enough yet!!/Coen brothers/Cuckoo/Mike Leigh(!!!)/The BaaderMeinhof Complex/ Any Human Heart/Schulze Gets the Blues/Dancing in the flames/Transamerica/Io Sono Amore/etc.

Books: Secret Oral Teachings in Tibetan Buddhist Sects by Alexandra David-Neel
Jeanette Winterson esp. Oranges are Not the Only Fruit and The Stone Gods
My Name is Chellis and I’m in Recovery from Western Civilization by Chellis Glendinning
The Gift by Lewis Hyde
Doris Lessing!!!!!
Rilke
Harry Potter

Music:
Neil Young/the Cramps/Nina Simone/Violent femmes/Minutemen/Bach/Nellie Mckay/Balkan music & other gypsy & folk/The Sadies/Magnetic Fields/Something About Reptiles/Ethiopian and Malian music/Paul Simon/Talking Heads/Milemarker/Submission Hold/Regina Spektor
Ella Fitzgerald/Luther Wright & the Wrongs/Smugglers/Evaporators/Chet Baker/etc.

food: lately really into rutabagas, organic green cabbage (it’s very sweet compared to conventional!), black kale and black beans. Also this crazy delicious cream top yogurt it is my job to help make. I really really love good food and I can make it but am often too lazy. potlucks are good for providing motivation. I like spicy, and have a passion for butter.
hot tipple esp. black tea with whiskey.

odds n sods…
Iceland - birgitta jonsdottir
indigenous wisdom
the sun magazine and Orion
dogon culture
crones esp. Swami Sivananda Radha and Marion Woodman
Satyrs/wild men of the woods
wood heat
kundalini

inspiration
sense of humour
path/foundation in yoga
fire
connection
perspective
salt

same mental static as everyone, and some particular threads: a lot of dwelling on land “ownership” and the insane results of enclosure and colonialism; paradigm shift, wanting things to change at a fundamental level, reflecting on myself and where I need to change/evolve, wondering what’s really going on here(?!?), rocket stoves, sex, psychology, the kundalini system and inner workings of humans, interconnectedness, internet dating, what my next move will be, and just processing things, solving problems, making solutions and finding answers where needed.

it varies but… friday night is karaoke night around here!

I’m secretly a poet and a stone fox with a carefully hidden megalomaniacal streak.

you feels like it, dorrr!
and... I’m not looking for a long-term relationship at this point. let’s get together, whatever, hang out, have fun, be ourselves together for a bit. No drama, no games, no agenda, hopefully some sense of connection or at least learn something new and/or have fun - - just share a little time and space and whatever arises in it!