I am a genuine person trying to genuinely learn something from and offer something back to life. I feel pretty repelled by ‘ironic living.’ I have struggled mightily in my life trying to fit in, only to discover the futility and waste of trying to fit into a context (modern/postmodern corporate capitalist civilization) that one will never fit into and increasingly despises and yet has been raised to be dependent on. It’s a normal human paradox, no?
I have not arrived. I have done lots of things, and still I don’t ‘know what I’m doing’ (as in the singular focus) and I wish I did, but I am not lost. I know who I am and I know what I value, and I know what I think and feel and want. I have an extremely high level of natural curiosity. I’m assaulted by beauty and hilarity daily. It’s an interesting time for me now as I try to find a way or ways to use my “pain for the world” (as Joanna Macy calls it) creatively and constructively rather than getting hung up on and stymied by it. The wonderful thing about growing older is that the less I give a shit, the more I really… do.