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cjbrown13

45 M Oakland, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–50
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
UPDATE: Having met some pretty awesome people on here and then suffered through the ridiculous schedule tangos that occur when an actor dates a 9 to 5-er, I realize what I am MOST looking for now is the following: Someone who works weird hours like me. Someone who is down to hang out at noon on a Tuesday or starting at Midnight on Thursday. I'd love to meet that person. Of course they would probably be an actor too...but not necessarily! And not that that would be such a bad thing! But I am definitely still on the hunt for random adventurers and playful dates.

Ok, about myself. My fear is that if I am too humble I come off as boring, but if I make strong claims about myself, I run the risk of sounding like a douchebag. That being said, I will try to be as honest about “what is interesting about me” as I can.

Up front you should know that I live with my best friend, the wonderful gabrimar. We happen to be legally married, but prefer to call ourselves "best friends with benefits". We have a very open marriage. This means we are both allowed and encouraged to date, play, hang out with, have SAFE sex with, cook meals with, sleep over with, have wild romances with, do fun things with other people. This is something we have always agreed on; it has always been a natural part of our relationship. This was not something one of us negotiated with the other, it is and always has been mutual. While we are not at all closeted about this “lifestyle” (hate that word), we also do not broadcast it on all frequencies, as some people would prefer not to know such details. We both have somewhat public personae, being actors, and we don't need potential employers looking askance at us. I don't identify as polyamorous per se, as I am not really part of any formal poly community, but I have nothing but love for all forms of romantic and sexual expression. Assuming of course that nobody is being hurt or victimized.

I also generally identify as straight, but only because up to now I have only really slept with women. I would rather identify as queer with hetero tendencies since I often find men extremely attractive, I just don't quite wanna sleep with them. And I hate to limit myself. In anything. I really love to hug tall, somewhat broad men. Just a thing, I don't know if it's relevant to anything.

If you made it through that long ramble about my open marriage and sexual leanings, stay tuned for the more interesting and specific stuff about the real me.

I love games. Not the emotional kind, but the kind you willingly play with friends. Celebrities, Mao, Poker, Apples to Apples, Cards Against Humanity, Pit, Cranium, Trivia...Pool, Shuffleboard, Darts, Ping Pong... This leads to my love of Improv, both Short and Long Form. I perform with a couple of different Improv troupes in SF Bay Area and I think I'm pretty damn good at it. I am an actor, and have the fortune to be able to eke out a living as such in a very slim market. I work on stage almost exclusively but would love to get more into screen work.

BRAG WARNING: SUBJECT WILL NOW SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT HIMSELF
I am generally liked by almost everyone who knows me. At this point I don't actually know of anyone who dislikes me. I'll let you know if this changes. I am funny, honest, genuine, and loyal. I am not a douchebag. (Ask me about the differences between asshole, douchebag, SOB, and truly mean people) People believe me to be hard-working and generous, though I think I am sometimes lazy and stingy.

I am very outgoing and extroverted when it comes to social situations and even flirting, but desperately shy when it comes to actually “hooking up”. I am always afraid of coming off as an aggressive lecherous asshole who has misread the cues. Women have to lead me by the hand into romantic situations. Once I am given the green light I can be very bold and forward, and I think I am really good at respecting boundaries.

I am very close with my family. That matters a lot to me.

I know this sounds very serious and unfunny. I am actually a fuckin' riot to hang out with, except when I'm not. I have an obsession with being clear and not wanting to confuse the truth with clever repartee. But get me going on a riff and I will rant with the best of them.

I really enjoy being drunk sometimes, but have never been puke drunk or pass-out drunk, or "I didn't know what I was doing"-drunk. I like that fact about me.

I've never been to Burning Man. I mean, I'd really love to go, but I keep being in shows that run during that time. And I can't turn down a good gig. That's my job, you know?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an actor. Managing to actually survive as a Bay Area stage actor, and also being a landlord to my wonderful community of family and friends who live in our house.

When I'm not being paid to act, I improvise on a few Bay Area stages. email me to find out when...

I am trying to jump-start my writing muscle. So far not very successfully.

I am learning to play the ukulele. Don't hate.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Swing and Lindy Hop Dancing. Juggling. Improv Comedy. Party Games. Deep philosophical discussions. Political/social rants when I get fired up. Cooking with someone else. Challenging un-well-thought-out opinions and beliefs. Admiring the person I am with.

Laughing until it hurts.

Not too bad at ping pong. Pretty rockin' at Crossword Puzzles. Pretty mean Scrabble player (Cassidy Brown on facebook, challenge me!)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look a bit like Gene Wilder.

Here are the awards I received when OKC had awards:

digitalutopia gave me: Makes Me Laugh
Awarded Aug 3, 2009
“This is one of the funniest, sweetest, easy going people I know. He's been an amazing friend and will make you laugh when you think you just can't. :)”
--
againstjealousy gave me: The Great Date
Awarded Jan 18, 2010
“I have dragged this man on too many ill-planned excursions to count, but somehow they all ended up being amazing hangouts. He's magic like that. Also, dude knows people and theater and food. He'll hook you up. And make you feel good too.”
--
Mollena gave me: Friends In Real Life
Awarded Jan 31, 2010
“This dood is the bomb. I will vouch for everything in his profile, add that he and his wife are among the most upstanding and responsible and caring people I've seen do an open relationship thang. Nothin' but love!”
--
GreatKate73 gave me: Makes Me Laugh
Awarded Feb 9, 2010
“I know cjbrown13 IRL and he always makes me giggle. He's a super great person and an above average friend. :)”
--
indrigirl2 gave me: Friends In Real Life
Awarded Apr 21, 2011
“He's all that and a side of fries; charming, smart, funny, compassionate, and a most excellent actor. Go ahead, message him!”
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books by Neil Stephenson and Jonathan Lethem and Jonathan Carroll. George RR Martin. Robert Parker. Harlan Ellison. China Mieville. That doesn't even scratch the surface of my voracious fiction appetite. Mostly fantasy/sci fi/speculative/magical realism stuff. I've read almost everything Orson Scott Card ever wrote. UPDATE: I am very sad and disappointed in Mr. Card. His recent ravings on Equality and his position on the Board of Directors of NOM make him persona non grata with me. I wish I could separate the man from his books, but I can't.

I love Chabon and Eggers too.

I have read a few Murakamis and liked them a lot. He's the japanese Jonathan Carroll. Or Carroll is the American Murakami.

I love Heist Movies in general. I love all movies in general. Love them. Love to watch them. Discuss them. Oddly, I don't usually like to watch movies more than once, with many exceptions.

I've never seen Gone With the Wind.

Like much of modern society, I am now watching series after the fact on DVD and Netflix. Carnivale, Deadwood, BSG, Alias. Loved Arrested Development, plus the bonus season. Loving Orange is the New Black. I have a guilty pleasure in police procedurals like Numbers, CSI, Bones, Lie to Me.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Those two guys might just save our country.

Musically I am all over the place from Bob Wills to Outkast to Neutral Milk Hotel to the Gluey Brothers to Mountain Goats to Prophets of Rage to Squeeze to Digital Underground to Belle and Sebastian to Erik Satie to Elvis Costello to old REM to Dar Williams to Ozomatli to Big Band Jazz to funky 70's shit to whatever...Lately enjoying recommendations of local conscious hip-hop.

I love NPR, especially This American Life. I love The Moth Podcast. Fresh Air often. Wait Wait Don't Tell Me most of the time. Risk Podcast. Any storytelling podcast.

Food, wow, don't get me started. I love food of all kinds, types, and origins. Cooking it and eating it. Though I sadly can't eat Indian food or Ice Cream. Green Chile Enchiladas from New Mexico are my obsession, being a New Mexican expat. I was a vegetarian for 15 years but I returned to omnivorism about 5 years ago. I try to eat organic and local as much as possible. Love my CSA Box.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My family (both Kin and Kith). Books. Water. A place to perform. Occasional or frequent hard laughter. Occasional or frequent sex.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The unjust disenfranchisement of people.

How to get more creative passion flowing in myself.

If they still like me.

Whether I am doing something the "right way"

How to get a regular game night together with friends or strangers.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In a show. At a show. Out for drinks after a show. Looking for something to do when I am not in a show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Compared to my vanilla friends, I am pretty kinky, but compared to my kinky friends I am pretty damn vanilla.

I have a weakness for cute pale redheads. They can pretty much order me around. I am powerless. But I am definitely not exclusive in my attraction, that's just one of my weaknesses.

I originally left this out of my profile but it has become a more consistent conversation in my daily life I am addressing it here as well. My blood tests positive for HSV2 (herpes.) I know the signs of an impending outbreak, I know how to take the most precautions, and I have not passed it on to any of my partners. I love condoms. Prefer them in fact! One in four people are believed to have this. The main difference between me and a significant portion of the population is that I know I have it and take precautions. Because of this I always disclose it to potential partners and now to you as well. Please feel free to ask me any questions. I have yet to figure it all out, but as I am quickly becoming an educator on the subject, I welcome all inquiries, they help me learn more myself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have read the message at the top in my "about me" section.

(note: you do not have to fit all of the criteria, they are just suggestions!)

You work odd hours and would like to have a playmate to fill your other odd hours...like me.

You like to play. (Take this as innocently or as naughtily as you want to)

You want to invite me to your already existing game night.

You think we might hit it off.

You want to have an online or offline flirtation.

You are interested in dating/playing/adventuring with a funny, dorky, suave, considerate, honest, and playful person who happens to also be married to another wonderful person. If you are willing to share your lover/friend/partner with another who is not going away anytime soon. (This doesn't mean threesome type sharing, been down the threesome road, just not looking for that right now)

You want a ping-pong or racquetball partner and have access to either of those games.