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30 Akron, OH Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–44
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Mar 18
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Warning: this is a big profile. If you dont like reading big profiles, either skim the first two sentences of every paragraph here and move on, or just back out and run screaming into the darkness. I try to make this profile as descriptive about me, my tastes, and my views as possible, rather than the popular method of being as vague as possible.
***** you have been warned*****

I'm a dorky and politically confusing individual that drives truck, listens to techno/industrial, enjoys the outdoors(namely camping and possibly biking and kayaking), plays random PC video games(steam FTW), and loves all that is goodwill(yes, I mean the store). I have a strange pension for brutal, unrelenting honesty(that is to say, that if you ask a question, no matter how personal, ill answer it completely and totally truthfully). Oh, and Im also one of those rare and elusive men that believes in chivalry, though a more modern version. Dont expect me to toss my coat in a puddle so you can walk over it, I will likely give you a very funny look.

I am geeky, silly, and open-minded (and my demon name is "Destroyer of minds, wielder of puns")

Surgeon General's Warning: this profile may give you facepalms, groans, heartburn, and possible death by excessive laughter. You have been warned..... again

TAGS: geek, books, sci-fi, science fiction, video games, zombies, camping, bicycling, truck driving, werewolves, dating, fantasy, dork, puns, steam
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now I'm actually a truck driver. I just got a new job thats regional, meaning Im out mostly all week, but I get back to Ohio every other night. Whether or not I actually GO HOME is another story. I work out of Wooster, so driving back to Akron is questionable when I have to drive back to wooster the following morning. It only makes sense to sleep in the truck, and Ive made it pretty comfy in here, even if its horribly messy. I am also guaranteed to be home throughout most weekends, usually I get the entire weekend off.

I hope to quit driving truck one day. Its a fantastic job and I'm proud to be doing it, but in all honesty, it aint much fun being a truck driver when it comes to attempting to have a social life. Also, I dislike being compared to the vast majority of the drivers out here, some of them make the Unibomber look positively normal.

I'm also working toward getting my own place, which I do intend to buy. Right now I'm living with my grandfather. We both have similar attitudes and he needed someone to help with the bills. His is the house I plan to buy if possible because of its history with our family.

FYI, my truck driving does not mean I'm the type that doesn't bathe, listens to country, bitches about Obama or is excessively overweight. Truck drivers are like Starburst, we're all a bit chewy though some of us taste better than others. I'd hope I'm more of a lemon flavor as I can be sour sometimes, but usually I'm fruity, yet sweet. Yes, this means I do get stuck in your teeth, so be prepared for cavities.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Finding deals.... yeah, its sad, but we all have to have hobbies. its this or Masturbation..... oh wait, I do that too >.< Cleaning up and looking nice for dates and special occasions. No really, I can be a slob sometimes(what guys aren't?) but I know how to clean up and I do like dressing up nice.

cooking. I cook for my grandfather and he likes my cooking. I usually enjoy things with cheese and BBQ sauce on them the most, but Im also known for involving broccoli in the mix. Making awesome brownies lately. BTW, Im terrible at cooking vegan, so Its probably not a good idea to ask. I tend to cook things meaty and hearty, but Ive been picking up tips to cook a little healthier while not abandoning meat entirely. Im trying to cook slightly more organic while not going the "purely" organic route. That stuff is just freakishly expensive.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My appearance makes me look a lot younger than I am, so sometimes I wear a beard for kicks just so people wont treat me like I'm 12(no seriously, I have pictures of me at 19 and OKcupid wouldnt let me post them because they thought it was a 12 year old kid). I seriously look A LOT younger than I am. On that note, if you look older than you actually are, and if we went out, I look forward to convincing everyone that we are mother and son, and then promptly making out on a park bench for laughs.

My sarcasm, my sense of humor, and the puns.... OH THE PUNS.... they do not stop!!!

My sweet tooth, which usually leads to a lot of ice cream, usually cookie dough or fudge brownie.

Oh, and I'm short, so no references to lucky charms, I might be a Leprechaun, but I dont have any gold worth stealing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A Whisper of Wings by Paul Kidd. Absolutely my favorite book ever. I prefer sci fi and fantasy novels, but Ive also a smaller interest in mystery and Paranormal suspense(as well as the occasional romance), so I have a wide variety of tastes with books. I also enjoyed the Xanth series, jane lindskold's wolf series, Brian Jacques' "Castaways of the Flying Dutchman"(magnificent book), The Spellsinger series by Alan Dean Foster, Charles De Lint's "wolf Moon", CJ Cherryh's Chanur saga, Andrew Swann's Moreau series, KD Wentworth, and Lisanne Norman's Sholan Alliance series. Been reading a lot of Heinlein and Christopher Moore. If you know anything about these books, you will notice a trend.

most(if not all) starship flight combat games(IE Wing Commander, Galaxy on Fire 2, DarkStar One, Etc...) Many various RPGs(FF series, Legend of Legaia, Vindictus, etc...), and some RTS and FPS series if the game story is good enough. MacGuffin's Curse and a handful of other puzzle games. I'm not big on MMOs because they all tend to be about mindless grinding or farming of stuff, and then your life goes to s#%t because you never leave your computer.

TV shows:
Fringe, Supernatural, Stargate, Sanctuary, The walking Dead, Lie to me, Misfits(Hulu Exclusive show), Eureka, Warehouse 13, Better off Ted, Agents of Shield, Almost Human, Arrow, Pretender(an older show), and Chuck.

"second hand Lions", "Limitless", "John Carter", "Never Cry Wolf", "The Abyss extended edition", "Green Street Hooligans", "fight club", "lucky number slevin", "Fifth Element", "Scary movie 1" and "2", "Shawshank Redemption", "American Beauty", Johnny Depp movies, Adam Sandler movies. I love pretty much all varieties of movies except for horror movies. Modern horror movies just generally fail to scare me. I grew up watching the Hellraiser movies, the Alien Trilogy, and anything else gory and scary that no child should ever grow up watching. :P

Bleach, One Piece, Bagi monster of mighty nature, Summer Wars, Fairy Tail, and the ORIGINAL Dragonball(before the constipated battle noises of Z), Hayao Miyazaki films and a few others that catch my fancy. I like anime with more of a story and less of a bunch of overly muscular teenagers grunting in constipation. Oh, and Naruto sucks(yes, I said it, what you gonna do about it?) I know it isnt Japanese anime, but the Avatar series was and still is, one of the best animated series out there. I am avidly awaiting the release of the next season of Legend of Korra.

Food: Most anything meaty and home cooked. I will however try just about any food once. I love Indian food. I also love Ice cream and milkshakes the way Bill Clinton loves interns. Yep, fresh, creamy, and under the table.

Music: I listen to Trance, Goa, psytrance, industrial, some metal bands, certain classic rock, and some 80s pop groups. Included are bands like: NIN, Green day, Lonely Island, VNV Nation, Crystal Method, Delerium, Marilyn Manson, Orgy, Garbage, Hybrid, Blackmill, Eiffel 65, Placebo, Fatboy Slim, Synthetic Dream Foundation, Mushroomhead, and Prodigy. I will also admit to enjoying classic Micheal Jackson(before he turned into Skeletor) "YOU IS ALL IGNANT!!!"
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order:
Geeky stuff. childhood Cartoons, PC Video games, etc...

broccoli...... WHAT!?!?!?! hey, its good when its cooked right!!! Plus it makes me poop, and as we all know, everyone poops.

Juice or iced tea. I love green iced tea, cranberry grape juice and Ruby Red Grapefruit. I drink all Juice like some people drink soda or coffee.

Books, reading, audio books, etc..... I tend to go through youth series like Percy Jackson and other series of myth/legend origin(especially werewolves)

The Internet, after-all, where else would I get my source of free porn? I use it to keep up with friends, and to watch stuff on Hulu.

A vehicle. Transportation is one of those things a lot of people take for granted, and I try to take care of mine.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think about life. What I'm gonna do with it. What I want to do with a house once I have one. Sometimes this leads to browsing real estate websites for ideas.

I also ponder fantasy and sci-fi related stuff like zombies, werewolves, and how lame sci-fi original movies are. (OMG SHARKTOPUS!!!)

Finally I sit around and wonder both how could think that taking so many of the better features of this site out would have been a good idea.... AND how hypocrites can exist, by rules of math, shouldnt they cease to exist?(combining positive with negative equals zero)

Oh, and how does one have "casual sex" I mean I checkmarked the option for laughs, but if sex were so casual, does that mean I can wear nothing for "casual friday" And is there casual dress for casual sex? do I just need slacks, maybe a sweater.....
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
playing on the internet..... WHAT!?!?!? there are so many things to do online, I'm essentially guaranteed to never get bored. I can check my stocks and then play a few games with my joystick...... FLIGHT SIMULATORS you warped child you. Friday nights for me are when I get home and take a breather. Saturdays are the days you can expect to see me out and about.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'd totally become a werewolf if(and ONLY IF) I could control it. I figure it would be awesome. Dig up the flower beds in the mean lady's yard, chase cars, crap in someone's prized vegetable garden, invite muggers to try to mug you..... I figure it would be pretty entertaining. Sure, forcefully transforming would be a bitch, but if you could control the wolf side, I'm sure you could have lots of fun with it. Besides, whats more cuddly than a wolf? You know you'd want to rub my tummy or play fetch!!!!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...if you like geeky people. I happen to rate a 6 or 7 on the geekometer. yes, that is a scientific number. Newton's geekometer has never proven to be false. Also, being somewhere in the middle, Im the perfect balance of normal and total dork. Best of both worlds if you will.

...If you have a car and a job to support making trips to fun places. I especially like women who are self-sufficient. No really, I cannot stress this one enough. Self-sufficient is a necessity, which is why its near the top.

...If you have an attitude. I prefer smart-asses to the meek ones out there. I have that kindof sense of humor.

...If you like werewolves, zombies and related discussions or movies.

...If you just want to chat. I got aim, yahoo, and unlimited talk and text on my cell. I prefer chatting over the phone tho because I can put on my headset and talk for about an hour or so while driving, keeps me from getting bored while driving. Being bored equals bad because I tend to fidget or get sleepy, so you are doing a community service by calling me while im driving as ridiculous as that sounds.

...or if you like to travel a lot. My job involves travel, but not as much as my previous truck driving job. This one is primarily OH, PA, IN, and IL. Occasionally I go up into WI, so if you like cheese, lemme know and Ill play drug pusher with wisconsin grade Dairy product. Its good stuff, really creamy, you know you want to, all the cool kids are doing it, Cheddar is better.... ok, Ill stop :P

...If you read my profile and DIDN'T take me completely seriously, laughed, and thought my sense of humor might be worth having around. Afterall, I'm limited edition, and I do not come on compact disc.

...Or if you are a complete dork, look good in a bathing suit, and want to go to the Bahamas for a week(no seriously, I won a trip and I want someone with a nice butt to take)
In case some of you haven't gathered, I am a smartass and I try to enjoy life for what it is, an adventure. But with all things in life, there are always going to be some things I can't live with. The following are reasons you shouldn't message me unless you plan to only want to be friends. If something in the following fits you, I can promise you it wont go beyond a few dates or basic friendship.

...If you don't have a job or a career. I'm at the stage in my life where I want a responsible partner. I'm fine going out on a few dates with someone who doesn't make much, but I promise you now, that unless you have a steady career or make decent income off whatever irregular work, It wont go beyond friendship and I may begin dating other people while we are "seeing" each other, regardless of how long we've been "dating" (decent income is defined in my book as substantial enough to pay your rent and bills and still have plenty left over to enjoy)

...If you are over the age of 25 and don't have your license. Medical reasons aside, you would have had 10 years to get a drivers license, and if it hasn't happened yet, it never will. I can't deal with the thought of going on more than one or two dates with someone who literally REFUSES to get their own transportation. Insisting on riding your bicycle to work is one thing or even being unable to afford having a car, but you can't tell me you don't have a reason for at least getting a basic drivers license. I have my reasons and Yes, I've done this before, and it was aggravating, and ended up being a sore spot in at least 3 of my previous relationships, sore enough that the relationships ended partly because of it. I'm not even going to touch relationships of this nature anymore.

...If you want to save my soul because I don't go to church often enough(which is probably once a year, if even that). No offense, but my belief in god shouldn't be an issue. If you believe otherwise, it wont work out. Yes, I do believe, but its on a completely different level from most other Christians. Ive discovered this bothers people so I'm making this known beforehand. I believe in praying only when its something that I have no power over, like a dangerous surgery on a family member. My Christian/new age belief structure is very mellow, and I'm not looking forward to anyone advancing into into regular church visits.

...If you have any intention to drag me to a football game, or make me watch one on the TV. For several personal reasons, I have to refuse to watch football. I wont even watch it with my grandfather, and I absolutely adore him. Most other sports I have no problem with and some I will enjoy going to games, even if I wont play much of them in my spare time(baseball and soccer). But, American football is of no interest to me. If you want to watch in your spare time without trying to include me, I'm fine with that. I MIGHT, much farther into our relationship, be ok with going to one game, just to get out and do something, but thats debatable.