I’m just going to skip over all of the typical profile bullshit such as: “I like to be happy, I like laughing, air is good, blah, blah, blah and other things that pretty much all humans are susceptible to, blah, blah, blah....”

I’m a world renowned spy.

Other than that... I’m a music connoisseur, video games are awesome, and I have a dog and cat who are both hell bent on destroying any potential constant state of sleep I may ever have, but I keep them around for whatever reason.

When I’m not on spy duty, I like to relax and just kick it. My idea of a good time is hanging out with a few close friends and shooting the shit. I try to hit as many concerts and comedy shows that I can fit in between spy gigs.

Sometimes I try to make music, but when I do, it usually turns out to be about cats in space, underground gnomes taking over the world, aliens, goats, and other such nonsense.

Obviously I can’t say much about being a spy, other than it’s totally awesome. So for the sake of this section, I’ll just say I’m in IT. Computers and such. Not as glamorous as being a badass spy, but at least it pays the bills.

I also have huge plans to save the world from greed, ignorance and stupidity... once I can find the time away from being a world class, completely awesome spy.

My dog Diogenes and my cat Caligula (yeah, I know how to pick awesome animal names) are pretty much completely reliant on my continued existence for that whole food and water distribution thing, so I’ve also got that going on.

Sarcasm.

My laugh. If you heard it, you’d understand.

Music:
Anything that sounds good to me, I try not to pigeonhole myself into any specific genre (though definitely not a fan of rap or country), and I have an insatiable thirst for new music.
Some favorite bands:
Pinback
The Mars Volta
Mr. Gnome
Wolf Parade
Moonface (Really anything that Spencer Krug does)
Puscifer (saw them live... one of the best shows ever)
The Black Keys
The Arctic Monkeys
Built to Spill
anything Jack White does
Cake
Buke and Gass

Shows:
Arrested Development, Archer, The IT Crowd, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Newsroom, Veep, Always Sunny.

Books:
The Agent Pendergast series by Lincoln and Child.
The Ender's Game (and Shadow) series.
Most Dean Koontz books (the guy comes up with some cool and crazy ideas)
UFOs: Generals, Pilots, and Government Officials Go on the Record (yeah I'm weird).

In order:

Music
Comedy
The Internet
Sleep (kind of important)
Water
Air

Why my cat hates that I sleep.

Fighting crime, solving unsolved mysteries, righting wrongs and wronging rights, testing the limits of reality, filling every empty void I see with sarcasm.

I'm still only human.

You’re a chill person who appreciates sarcasm and good music.

Or if you have superpowers, I’d be really interested in meeting you.