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48 M Trenton, NJ

My Details

Last Online
Aug 27
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Has a kid
Has dogs

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Friends say I'm intelligent, artistic, witty and offbeat (but they took away my official nerd card when I stopped playing video games). Moderately well educated, I'm a good conversationalist with a dry (ok, also weird) sense of humor. I like books, cinema, art & music, but not TV. I grew up in PA, came of age in NY and am now settled in central NJ. So despite being polite and a bit old-fashioned in some ways, about the only thing I'm intolerant of is people who walk too slowly on the sidewalk.

I'm also married, so if that's a deal breaker, thanks for your time, and good luck on your search!

Still here? My wife and I are both joyfully exploring open, honest non-monogamy. This doesn't at all mean our marriage is going away. It isn't. I think labels only go so far, but the one that gets used for this is polyamory. I know it's popular these days, but that's only because it's awesome.

So just to be clear, though, I'm not especially looking for casual sex. I don't have the inclination, temperament or time to be promiscuous, despite having heard wonderful things about it. I'm hoping to make real connections and have some adventures (and not just the bedroom kind) but in the end I'm looking for more of a heart connection.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm taking care of my family. I'm seeing the beauty of the world around me. I'm trying to be a good friend and positive force in my little corner of this shrinking planet.

My career is going OK and I'm making a living, but not a killing. I'm passionate about what I do though, which is try to humanize technology. It's great to be able to stand up for the little guy, even if I'm not fighting injustice or saving the planet. (I'm more of a hobbyist in those areas.) It's how I keep my inner Knight in Shining Armor from turning into sad, old Don Quioxte.

Lately I've been keeping busy with helping to run a local meetup group called PolyNJ that supports people in non-monogamous relationships. We have monthly dinners and just added monthly workshops, so there's always something coming up that needs some attention. I'm part of the larger polyamory community in the NY / NJ area, so I try to keep up with that too. Most months I go to the the poly cocktails event put on by OpenLoveNY (which is a great crowd and fun night out, even if it is on a Monday) and occasionally I make it to other NY / NJ / Philly events as well.

I'm perpetually trying to find more time for creative pursuits. Just took up the piano for the first time after years of dreaming about it. It's a long term project, but I'm already halfway decent at Jingle Bells. I also dabble with writing & movie making.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I've been a techie for a long time, and I can do at least a little bit and sometimes a lot of nearly everything computer-related. I'm pretty awesome at generally figuring out how things work.

Also conversation. Yeah I said that already. Apparently I'm also good at repeating myself.

I am a good communicator, though. I know how to listen, even if I don't always do so perfectly. I can turn a phrase. I try to be insightful and empathetic. I don't dismiss people even when I disagree with them.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably that I'm smart, and that I have a unique take on things. I don't generally stand out much in a crowd. But give me a small group and watch out. Heads will spin.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - I went through a period of only reading non-fiction for a while, but I got past it. Now I strive for more of a balance. History, anthropology and psychology are some of my favorite topics. I have an endless fascination with the workings of the human mind. I also have a sweet tooth for trashy science fiction novels, but it's not all the fiction I read.

Movies - I LOVE movies but I don't go to nearly enough of them. I like an odd combination of art house cinema and comic-booky action flicks. Actually, I like nearly anything. Documentaries, if they're well made. Indie films. The occasional summer blockbuster. The only genre I'm not really interested in is horror. CNN's website is good enough for that, most days.

Shows - I don't watch TV.

(long, awkward pause)

Um, so moving on...

Music - I've pretty much given up on the whole idea of musical taste since I figured out that limitimg my exposure to things I might enjoy wasn't really serving any good purpose. I will listen to anything and probably like some of it. My heart belongs to 70s rock even though nobody thinks it's cool anymore. I like classical but not well enough to reliably tell Stravinsky from Janacek. And someday I'm going to be that old man who still listens to bubblegum pop on the radio, and I'm just fine with that.

Food - I do like all kinds of food but I'm a vegetarian, so there's that. I'm not dogmatic about it. Other people eating meat bothers me not in the least. Still, we're probably not going to a steakhouse on our first date.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Music, something to read, imagination, interesting skies, caring people, hope for the future.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Justice. Sex. Art. The media. The last conversation I had with my wife. Gadgets. The future. And that's just on a typical drive to work...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Looking to get out of the house against all odds. Unless it's my wife's night with her boyfriend. Then I'm thinking about My Little Pony, because that's what I watch with my daughter on Fridays when Mom's away. (We are both too old for it. Neither of us cares.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look at the photos first.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–53
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
• You're smart
• You're open minded
• You're >90% OK with open relationships / polyamory
• You already have a primary relationship but are looking for a complementary connection
• You're interested in discussing or finding out more about polyamory