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25 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 15
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Okay)

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My self-summary
"Hi guys." I'm Chris. I write, tutor, and teach music, and play card games. Sometimes I take a trip. My favorite places for this are Austin, Los Angeles, and the Mushroom Kingdom.

I could have gotten expelled from high school like ten times, but instead I was the Homecoming King. Then I went to New York for college and hated it so much that I finished in three years, moved back to Seattle, and now use my degree to fleece ambitious parents for outrageous tutoring fees.

I like a mean sense of humor. This makes some people with low self-esteem anxious, which is OK with me. Friends are the most important thing in my social life, and I like girls who like them. I like girls who are into books and the NFL and other types of high culture. I like girls who don't laugh when my jokes are terrible.
What I’m doing with my life
I've yelled at programmers to clean up their messes, made money at two different card games, tutored from Madison Park to Slovenia, and lived a European lifestyle. I'm the suffering artist without the suffering.

I've written my second and third novels, but I have yet to start work on my first. I try to do enough far-out things that you don't have to resort to asking me what I do for a living.
I’m really good at
Writing, piano, conversation, games (poker, Scrabble, chess, etc.)

Crossword puzzles. Always out-ordering people on food, but not drinks.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a nice voice and laugh, and people tell me I "give off a good vibe," which I guess means that I'm still curious?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Calvin and Hobbes, A Confederacy of Dunces, Portnoy's Complaint, Lolita, The Stranger, The Fall, Black Mischief, Brideshead Revisited, The Remains of the Day, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72, The Trial, Dangerous Liaisons. The Wire, The Sopranos, PBA Championship Bowling. Beethoven, Brahms, Lil Wayne. Thai, Indian, and Nutraloaf.
The six things I could never do without
A car. Happy memories. A sense of the absurd. A driver's license. To get into the bar and drive. Maybe not in that order.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How this Haruki M story is even better if you read it in terms of "100% Match"; how to retire in my twenties without moving to Portland; psychedelics; Kafka; Kafka on psychedelics; the similarities between job applications and Internet dating; how well the baseball metaphor describes the dynamics of a college softball team.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once enjoyed novels by both Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard. Also, one time, I uttered a prayer. I'll try not to do it again.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
There's games beyond the fucking Game.