I could have gotten expelled from high school like ten times, but instead I was the Homecoming King. Then I went to New York for college and hated it so much that I finished in three years, moved back to Seattle, and now use my degree to fleece ambitious parents for outrageous tutoring fees.
I like a mean sense of humor. This makes some people with low self-esteem anxious, which is OK with me. Friends are the most important thing in my social life, and I like girls who like them. I like girls who are into books and the NFL and other types of high culture. I like girls who don't laugh when my jokes are terrible.