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47 Chicago, IL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 32–54
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Straight, Sapiosexual
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body type
Strictly other
Buddhism, and somewhat serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), C++ (Poorly), LISP (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I weigh about 135 pounds. My favorite color is blue. My turn-ons include skepticism, absurdism and joyous nonsense, chocolate, urbanism, interesting technology and good design--including, of course, bikes. My turn-offs include drama, intellectual and political purism, my own laziness, excessive exclamation points, and bad breath.

I love Chicago. Maybe not the greatest city in the world, but certainly the best.

Mastery of things is a core aspect of my personality. I can demonstrate some mastery in writing, cooking, programming, and probably other things. I like to be good at things I do, and I set high standards for myself.

I won't talk about how smart or funny I am here. Read my profile and judge for yourself.

I read profiles. I even look at your answers to the questions. I use okcupid the way it seems to be designed to be used.

I was born in 1967 to a feminist mother, and brought up with a feminist sister. I’m most comfortable around strong women who know what they want. I can do the chivalry thing if you need me to, but for me being a ‘gentleman’ is more about respect for women than opening doors and paying for dinner.

Sexually, I’m an adult. You can say no to me without fear and yes without shame. I’m a regular listener of the Savage Love podcast, with a solid understanding of what GGG means (and doesn’t mean), and what consent means (and doesn’t mean). I use my words. If you do too, we’ll be fine. If not, you probably should date someone else.

I don't give a hell of a lot of credibility to Myers-Briggs, but ENTP describes me really, really well. I have a lot of social circles, and every circle knows a side of me, but no one knows everything about me. I'm a long conversation. I like to make things with my friends.

My techie friends might know I'm Buddhist, but won't know much about it unless they ask. My Buddhist friends know I'm a techie, but won't know much about it unless they ask. Most folks know I'm car-free, but won't know much about it unless they ask. My bikey friends know I go to Burning Man, but... you get the idea. It's not like I have a bunch of secret lives, I'm just not that interested in talking about myself. Tell me about you.

I am geeky, but 'hacker' is probably a better description for me than 'geek'--hacker in the original sense of the word, bending technology to my will in fun ways. Science fiction is like porn to me: diverting, but I'd rather do the real thing.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing code for big companies. Spending too much time on Facebook and email. Developing interesting technology in my free time. Trying to rebrand my career. Hanging out with friends. Cooking. Making stuff at the new South Side Hackerspace (bonus points if you know why the abbreviation ssh is awesome). Always looking for interesting problems to solve.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing, editing, coding, cooking, learning, naming things, starting projects... not so good at finishing them.

Making people say things like, 'I never thought of it that way.'

Bringing clarity: 'So what you're trying to say is [x].' 'Yes, that's it!' Asking the right question.

Making connections: 'I know someone you really should meet.' All my social circles come in handy sometimes.

Ordering at restaurants. You will want what I'm having.

Admitting I'm wrong.

I have a very, very good brownie recipe: dark chocolate, mixed with marmalade--ideally bitter orange marmalade... mmm...
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Online, you may notice the lack of pictures of my penis in your inbox. Not that I'm particularly proud of knowing better, but from what I hear from women I have met, it might be a remarkable thing on OkC. I'm also potty trained.

If they're trying to engage my ego with this question, well, people are immediately struck by my penetrating brilliance and subtle wit. But first they notice I'm a total spaz. A sexy, sexy spaz.

You might also notice I respond to bullshit questions with bullshit answers. It's definitely more fun than saying 'I dunno, ask them.'
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: chocolate, hummus, sweet potatoes, Thai food, sushi, Indian food. I love the restaurants along north Western Avenue, especially Thai Spoon and Opart Thai. (OMGOMGOMFG Opart Thai has a new place in the South Loop!) I make a good glaze for chicken or salmon, or tofu if you're veggie: combining apple cider and miso paste. I love the combination of sweet and salty. I'm not vegetarian, but I am meat-light.

Movies: I Heart Huckabees, Waking Life, Memento, Young Frankenstein, Lost in Translation, Pi, The Fountain (Requiem for a Dream doesn't belong on this list, but Aronovsky is a genius), Brazil, Happiness, Henry Fool, Something About Mary, Pan's Labyrinth, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Spinal Tap, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich (again, Charlie Kaufmann, genius), Idiocracy (Brawndo--it's got what plants crave!)

TV: I'm generally a media snob, but Archer, Mad Men, and House of Cards have rekindled my interest in TV. And I want to be Anthony Bourdain when I grow up, without a career slaving in restaurants or the coke fiend period... how do I do that? I have no use for the channel abstraction, though. What a crappy way to organize media.

Music: Lyle Lovett, Bach, John Coltrane, They Might be Giants, The Breeders, The Pixies, Mozart, Beck, Bjork, Johnathan Richman, Stuart Davis, TV On The Radio, Lcd Soundsystem, Radiohead... did I mention I'm eclectic? Oh--Jackson 5-era Michael Jackson! 'Stop: the love you save may be your own' is one of my favorite songs. Maybe through 'Off the Wall'... the rest doesn't do much for me. De La Soul's 'Three Feet High and Rising'--best album of the eighties, hands down. More Jim DeRogatis than Greg Kot.

Books: I've been reading lots of anarchists lately. Loving Rebecca Solnit, David Graeber. Love most of Johnathan Lethem, but favorites include Motherless Brooklyn, The Fortress of Solitude, and The Wall of the Sky, the Wall of the Eye--yes, I was reading him in the nineties, Susanna Clarke's Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Christopher Alexander's The Timeless Way of Building, Taleb's The Black Swan, most of Tufte--I took his one day class recently. So good. Hofstader's Godel, Escher, Bach--math is the best drug. Paul Tough's Whatever It Takes. Ken Wilber's The Eye of Spirit. Greg Bear's Blood Music.

I spend more time in my feed reader than reading books these days, so here are my favorite sources: NPR's Planet Money, Core77 design blog, Make Magazine's awesome blog, Bruce Schneier will beat your plaintext out of your cyphertext with his awesome fists of P=NP, Ars Technica has the best damn science and technology coverage on the web, xkcd, Savage Love podcast--Dan Savage is the bomb. I usually listen to This American Life as a podcast. Pacific Standard: research-driven journalism FTW.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Coherent thought-- I'll probably never have a bad drug habit, because I find the sensation that I can't trust my thought process deeply unsettling.
a regular meditative practice
a decent bike--fear the Bike of Steel! Would your weak-ass fixie take you through a Chicago winter, or would it cower in a corner of the basement, begging for springtime? Yeah, that's what I thought.
friends & family
interesting problems to solve.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Things I could be doing. I have about a million projects going on, besides work. Some folks do sudoku, I pick random four digit integers and try to find their prime factors in my head. Give me one, see how I do.

Hard problems, like how money flows in the economy. Technological change and its consequences for people. The coming desktop manufacturing revolution. The way human beings develop over time. The tension between 'human' and 'animal' aspects of our nature. The tension between individual and collective aspects of our nature, and healthy and unhealthy responses to those aspects.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
It's hard for me to think of a 'typical' Friday night. Sometimes I'm at home, sometimes I'm out with friends, sometimes I'm riding with Critical Mass (on the last Friday of the month), sometimes I'm at the hackerspace...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look younger than my age, and like a lot of single folks in their 40s, I socialize with a younger crowd, but I really am 47. My version of adulthood may include a healthy amount of play, but I'm still a grownup.

That said, I've discovered a new compulsive behavior: untangling piles of cables. Got a big, gnarly pile of cables sitting in a drawer? Give me half an hour, and I'll have them all neatly separated and tied off. Happy as a clam.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. like smart or geeky guys; are a brownie connoisseur;

...'Her mystery not of high heels and eyeshadow:' Some might say that as you get older, you lower your standards. Others might say you develop as a compassionate person, and learn to appreciate less obvious charms.

I'm not devoid of superficiality, and I don't expect you to be. But you will find kindness, sweetness, and understanding go a very long way with me. If you feel the same way, we will get along well. enjoy intellectual conversation, but you don't get lost in it. I love it too, but emotionally it doesn't lead anywhere. I'm finding I bond best over intimacy, sharing the details of our lives. Maybe that was obvious, but I'm the kind of guy who had to learn it the hard way; are a city-dweller... I don't rule out meeting suburban women, but being car-free, I'm just not sure how that would work. I'm close to Berwyn and that area, so close-in western suburbs can probably work. Outside that, either live in the city or come with some ideas about how we will make it work. That don't involve me buying a car.