(Something tells me this is the wrong way to go about things, but hey, it'll be fun!)
I'm frightfully clumsy. I just hit myself in the face removing my oversized headphones from my ears. I am prone to tripping over my own feet and I have never waited tables for fear of spilling a steaming hot bowl of soup all over someone. That being said, I dance ballet between two and three times a week. It's the only thing I have ever felt relatively good at (although I'm not nearly as flexible as I used to be). But the minute I take those ballet slippers off, it's back to tripping over thin air.
I am materialistic when it comes to pretty things. I own a fair amount of shoes. My own materialism grosses me out. And while I know gross consumerism adds to the many problems of this world, I try and lessen my own guilt by buying upscale and looking at labels.
I am somewhat impulsive and I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I laugh at things which are somewhat inappropriate.
I have a filthy sense of humor and a dirty laugh to accompany it.
I am argumentative. (But good at admitting when I'm wrong).
If I don't like you, you will most likely know it. (A friend once told me "you don't burn bridges, you TNT those motherf*ckers")
My sister says sometimes I occasionally talk with my eyes closed which is apparently something "pretentious people do" according to her and South Park.
Fuck, I am pretentious.
I also swear.
But how about the good stuff?
I work to live and not the other way around.
I make delicious scrambled eggs.
I tell funny jokes.
I read about a book a week. I am constantly learning.
I can be incredibly warm (if I like you).
I am fiercely loyal as a friend or a girlfriend.
I have left parties full of strangers with five new lifelong friends.
I am adventurous. If you want to learn how to sail, surf, ride a horse or fly an airplane (I need to go again soon), count me in.
I am full of heart.
Here's what I can promise:
If you are attracted to me and I am attracted to you we'll swap some emails and perhaps some songs. That part is tough because attraction is tricky. Later maybe we'll meet up. I'll wear something pretty, you'll dress kind of dapper but the rest of the story is still being written. What do you think happens? It's up to you.
So there you have it.
"Signed, sealed, delivered, I sang" - Joanna Newsom