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31 Los Angeles, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 29–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Native American, White
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 2" (1.58m)
Body Type
Judaism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Fluently), Irish (Somewhat), Yiddish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Interesting story: I was at a comedy club with a friend, leaned over to tell him that I have a crush on one of the male performers. Said male performer begins his set with this line "My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years...".

Annndddd....that's why I'm single folks!
I have terrible Gay-dar, but impressive

I'm an ALL nonsense chick with a culinary degree who loves making jokes, hiking, camping, paddleboarding, writing, and meeting strangers. Looking to make new friends, and meet a potential mate. Don't even think about hitting on me if you're just looking for a "good time"...I can smell that BS from a mile away.

To give you an idea of what I'm into here's my top 5 list:
1. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (duh)
2. Charlie Day
3. Damon Wayans, Jr.
4. John Krazinski
5. Koreans
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I spend my days as a Headhunter (feel free to hit me up if you'd like me to represent you) and my nights writing new material, and hanging with friends.
I moved from SF to LA to find my "happy" (which I've now accomplished). Now looking for my future baby-daddy.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking, cleaning-I'm a little OCD, being inappropriate, restoring furniture, golf, rewiring lights, karaoke, writing comedy and lyrics, naming 50 Nobel prize winners, getting along with just about anyone.
So obviously I'm fucking amazing!

Things I'm NOT so good at:
Soccer, staring contests, being a lesbian, being passive-aggressive, eating mushrooms, being plain, lying, spending money on dumb shit like manicures, having patience, and going hours without eating
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My blue eyes, smile, sense of humor, and sweet ass
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
TV: The League, Workaholics, the Kroll Show, Another Period, Drunk History, Broad City, Silicon Valley, New Girl, Office, it's Always Sunny, SVU, SNL

Movies: 500 Days of Summer, Dead Poets Society, Jurassic Park, Easy A, High Society, LOTR, Star Wars, Gone with the Wind, Across the Universe, Horrible Bosses, Sin City.

Food: sushi, seafood, Indian, Mexican, avocados (yes, they're THAT good- even though I'm allergic)

Music: Beastie Boys, She & Him, Billy Joel, Jeff Buckley, Bright Eyes, Iron & Wine, TBS, Chicago, REO Speedwagon, Miley Cyrus, Elton John, Johnny Cash, and of course all 90's-00's hip hop/rap!

Books: Digital Fortress, Deception Point, Angels and Demons, Slaughter House Five, Serial Killer Files.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Besides the obvious.....
-almond milk
-Dungeness crab (I've gone a year now)
-the smell and sound of rain
-singing in the car
-having my head or feet rubbed
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-New jokes
-Why Zooey Deschanel sounds so much like Kermit the Frog
-Why people think I sound like Miley Cyrus
-Why every single person in LA is always looking for the next best thing. Just enjoy what you have for fucks sake!
-When will my boobs finally come in?!?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either out at a bar with friends and beer or safe at home reading or playing NES...yes, I'm old school. (I had to get rid of the Xbox when I became addicted to gaming). NERD!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My most treasured past time is eating BLTs in the bathtub (stop judging me)

And as much as I will constantly tell others that I'll never get married or settle down, I actually want to. Shh-don't tell!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can be both rugged AND dapper! Can handle my foul language and is family oriented. Driven, honest, funny, non-pretentious, active, but is still cool with staying in and having a movie marathon or playing some cards.
*Bonus points if you have a big nose or big ears (serious turn-ons)
Not interested in anyone who can't afford a living and expects me to pay for all of our dates. I'm not looking for a male prostitute!