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30 F Los Angeles, CA

I’m looking for

  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 29–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:30pm
Native American, White
5′ 2″ (1.58m)
Body Type
Judaism, and laughing about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Irish (Poorly), Yiddish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Interesting story: I was at a comedy club with a friend, leaned over to tell him that I have a crush on one of the male performers. Said male performer begins his set with this line "My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years...".

Annndddd....that's why I'm single folks!
I have terrible Gay-dar, but impressive

I'm an ALL nonsense chick with a culinary degree who loves making jokes, hiking, camping, paddleboarding, writing, and meeting strangers. Looking to make new friends, and meet a potential mate. Don't even think about hitting on me if you're just looking for a "good time"...I can smell that BS from a mile away.

To give you an idea of what I'm into here's my top 5 list:
1. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (duh)
2. Charlie Day
3. Skylar Astin
4. Darren Criss
5. Andy Samberg
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work about 10-12 hour days as a Headhunter for accounting professionals (feel free to hit me up if you'd like me to represent you). The only real time I have available for anyone is on the weekends and maybe a night or two throughout the work week, but I usually spend those last free hours in the gym.
I moved from SF to LA to slow down and focus on doing what I love: Comedy & far unsuccessful due to my new passionate career.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking, cleaning-I'm a little OCD, being inappropriate, restoring furniture, golf, rewiring lights, karaoke, writing comedy and lyrics, naming 50 Nobel prize winners, getting along with just about anyone.
So obviously I'm fucking amazing!

Things I'm NOT so good at:
Soccer, staring contests, being a lesbian, being passive-aggressive, eating mushrooms, being plain, lying, spending money on dumb shit like manicures, having patience, and going hours without eating
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My blue eyes, smile, sense of humor, and sweet ass
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
TV: Workaholics, New Girl, Office, it's Always Sunny, the League, SVU, SNL, Modern Family, Louie CK

Movies: 500 Days of Summer, Dead Poets Society, Easy A, High Society, Pitch Perfect, LOTR, Star Wars, Gone with the Wind, Across the Universe, Horrible Bosses, Sin City.

Food: sushi, seafood, Indian, Mexican, avocados (yes, they're THAT good- even though I'm allergic)

Music: She & Him, Clare Bowen, Billy Joel, Jeff Buckley, Bright Eyes, Iron & Wine, TBS, Chicago, REO Speedwagon, Miley Cyrus, Elton John, Johnny Cash

Books: Digital Fortress, Deception Point, Angels and Demons, Slaughter House Five, Serial Killer Files.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Besides the obvious.....
-almond milk
-Dungeness crab (I've gone a year now)
-the smell and sound of rain
-singing in the car
-having my back or feet rubbed
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-New jokes
-Why so many straight men in LA want me to put something in their ass
-Why Zooey Deschanel sounds so much like Kermit the Frog
-Why people think I sound like Miley Cyrus
-When will my boobs finally come in?!?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either out at a bar with friends and beer or safe at home reading or playing NES...yes, I'm old school. (I had to get rid of the Xbox when I became addicted to gaming). NERD!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My most treasured past time is eating BLTs in the bathtub (stop judging me)

And as much as I will constantly tell others that I'll never get married or settle down, I actually want to. Shh-don't tell!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can be both rugged AND dapper! Can handle my foul language and is family oriented. Driven, honest, funny, non-pretentious, active, but is still cool with staying in and having a movie marathon or playing some cards.
*Bonus points if you have a big nose or big ears (serious turn-ons)
NO ACTORS or MODELS! Or anyone else who can't afford a living and expects me to pay for all of our dates. I'm not looking for a male prositute.