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56 M Bayside, NY

My Details

Last Online
Jul 27
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Judaism, and laughing about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
I thought the best way to do this was to actually put together a personal ad describing my likes/dislikes and what I am looking for.Then I realized it's not that easy just using initials but here goes:.........SWM seeks SWF.UCLA grad with PHD looking for VIP with BMW. I love NBC,CBS,BLT'S ,KFC ,RUN DMC and JAY Z I dislike...FBI, CIA DMV IRS STD'S and PMS.. I'm a big traveler
TWA,LIRR.BQE,FDR and the LIE. Call me AM/PM ask for SL...

Someone said "forget O.K CUPID",you'll meet someone when you're out with your pet". Tried it and looked like an idiot....walking down the street carrying my aquarium!!!!

I checked out a site for Russian mail order brides.Could not believe the cost was 50,000 dollars !! I called up and asked if they had any irregulars.......

My parent's celebrated 55 years of marriage.I asked my dad " do you and mom still make love" .He replied " yes, but it's different now. When I smack her in the ass the lights in the room come on "....

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STAND=UP.... or maybe I'll just say a prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a woman, who's not a creep,
One who's pretty, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before she speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray she's gainfully employed,
When she spends my cash, i won't be annoyed.
I'll pull out her chair and open her door,
Massage her back and she'll beg to do more.
Oh! Send me a woman who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to say when I ask "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this woman will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

p.s MONTREAL - Comedians exhibit greater sensitivity and sexual stamina according to a new study published by McGill University.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm doing stand-up comedy and looking for a publisher for my book
I’m really good at
filling out surveys on dating sites !
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Any music from late 60's through the 70's. Seinfeld,King of Queens,Raymond,Family Guy,Law and Order....Lifetime ( but i really don't cry as often as i should)
The six things I could never do without
Music...T.V....PIZZA..THE NY YANKEES ...Glass of wine....Internet...The Sun.....Family/Friends ....cherry ices
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why you are reading this and not writing to me !!
On a typical Friday night I am
Making people laugh
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If I did that they would throw me off the site !!
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 35–55
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
You are pretty,witty and serious about meeting someone special.