• art, design, hue, luminance, saturation, form, composition,
intent, • just how much I despise tea-bagging Tea Partiers
• whether I'd rather be playing guitar, bass or singing along to
the song that's playing
• other people's feelings
• how corrupt/morally bankrupt most politicians are and if there's
a way to rectify things without resorting to revolution
• how much I'd love to take a trip to Spain and Morocco. I dream of
traversing the Sahara, sleeping in the open desert, photographing
the nuances of the dunes – and how much more amazing it would be to
share the experience.
Listen, the following will – for many of you – surely paint me as
condescending, but I'll continue as this makes some sense to me –
and maybe to a few of you. At the very least, it will illustrate
what I hope to find at some point.
So, we’ve all spent our lives working on our individual puzzle
pieces, and in each relationship we’ve attempted to merge them with
those of our various partners in the hopes of creating something
amazing. I’m sure we’ve all been successful to some degree, but as
we’re all here, something amazing didn’t translate into something
I whole-heartedly believe the only real way to create something
both amazing AND lasting is to place on the floor all of the puzzle
pieces: those you created together, those you created with other
partners, those your parents instilled/drilled into you, and most
especially ALL of your own. Then, together you select all the
pieces that will aid in constructing the life you want to create,
construct the life you both want to share, then set about planning
just how to go about it.
(Maybe it sounds as if I'm taking all the fun out of it, but by the
time two people are ready – and want – to commit, this won't serve
to stunt anything.)
To continue with the metaphor, we’re always placing our pieces to
form our present lives. So, when we meet someone interesting that’d
we’d like to spend time with, and later incorporate into our lives,
it’s pretty simple to rearrange some of the more superficial pieces
to accommodate them.
Each stage of a relationship then requires more and more shifting
and integrating. Yet, no matter how devoted we may be to the idea
of being together, we’ll always struggle to merge our visions, and
that, I believe, is why we ultimately fail to create something
lasting. In fact, I kind of believe that it may be impossible to
truly move forward from this point unless partners work to
essentially create something new – from scratch.
You're not getting rid of any of the puzzle pieces. Rather, both
partners consolidate all the pieces that make sense to use. In so
doing, they create a shared vision of their future life together...
for all intents and purposes, the photo on the box.
Why is this necessary? Well, no matter how good the previous photo
looked, that puzzle was created by mixing and matching pieces from
their individual puzzles – puzzles they originally created before
they even met each other.
But why doesn't this work?
• ... because if you’re looking for your Prince Charming; most
likely because you’re still trying to work on the puzzle you began
• ... because if, after your last serious relationship, you didn’t
completely disassemble that puzzle, then you’re still looking for
your last boyfriend
• ... because even if you’ve bettered yourself, built an incredible
career for yourself, worked hard in therapy to unshackle yourself
from your parents dreams/nightmares, and EVEN if you've found an
incredible partner, you still spent all that time and effort in
creating the future YOU envisioned!
So yes, I eventually want to meet someone amazing – someone who
also believes that should we decide at some point to go the
distance, the best way to unite will be to dissemble our individual
lives, then together construct the life we want from scratch.
So again, if all you need to engage your perfect future is to find
your Man, then move along; I’m not the droid you’re looking
It's very zen, apparently. I just zone out.. all the psych gurus
say it's supposed to be awesome but it makes me less productive, I
Also, I think a lot about how rapidly the world is changing now and
how it would have been more serene not knowing all that we
collectively know now and just to be able to kind of exist and
wonder about existence without all this information that is crammed
down our throats at present. I like to think about how we've
created this reality for ourselves but how easily everything could
have been totally different. Trying not to be shit-scared about how
all our systems seem so fallible and how things seem to be shooting
off the rails. I'm an idealist, for sure, and always have been...
but I'm also a realist and sometimes I just feel kind of paralyzed
with uncertainty about the future and I feel like that uncertainty
is worse for my generation than generations past.. I try not to get
bummed out about this stuff but it sure does enter my stream of
consciousness fairly often.
Here's some quotes from my favorite books. Figure them out and read
“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.
Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down
the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo,
plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She
was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the
dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita. Did she have a
precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might
have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial
girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years
before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always
count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the
misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this
tangle of thorns.”
"I want a soul mate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten
things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what
you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will
follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your
mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care
about your feelings. Just have something in there."
"I no longer deserve to read beautiful poems when nothing inside of
me is a mirror of the truth. I speak, and a hundred lies fall
I spent eighteen years digging myself holes to fall into, and now I
can't lay across my bed without detonating all these fucking land
mines that I had spent years putting down.
How often is it three a.m. with you feeling like you're standing
beneath a landslide with your mouth wide open?"
"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my
arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even
have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the
phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was
gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was
endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on
the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle
and she was a hurricane."
"'I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a
great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even the
inside of your own mind is endless, it goes on forever, inwardly,
do you understand? The fact that you're alive is amazing, so you
don't get to say 'I'm bored.'" -Louis C.K
"you were given life. it is your duty, and right as a human being,
to find happiness within this life, no matter how slight".
"all the things that truly matter - beauty, love, creativity, joy,
inner peace -arise from beyond the mind." ~ eckhart tolle
"If we have a good heart, we experience much happiness and
relaxation. We have no reason to feel angry or jealous and we have
a very happy mind. When we speak, sweet words come out. Even our
face is happy and smiling. At night we go to bed with a happy mind
and have a very comfortable sleep, without any worries. Otherwise,
if we live our life with a very selfish, ungenerous mind, we think
about nothing else except me, me, me: "When will I be happy? When
will I be free from these problems?" If our attitude is like this,
jealousy and anger arise easily, strongly and repeatedly, so we
experience much unhappiness in our life, many ups-and-downs. During
the day we have a cold heart and at night we even go to bed with a
cold heart and unhappy mind."
About life. About how small/insignificant we are compared to the
greatness of the universe. "We are just a moment in time. A blink
of an eye...", we are not necessary, we are not special and
I believe we are just dust.
 But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of
denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you
a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings
of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human
happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself,
because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to
pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are
extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues
or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but
occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure
him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us
ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some
advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man
who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences,
or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?
 On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and
dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of
pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot
foresee the pain and trouble that are bound to ensue; and equal
blame belongs to those who fail in their duty through weakness of
will, which is the same as saying through shrinking from toil and
pain. These cases are perfectly simple and easy to distinguish. In
a free hour, when our power of choice is untrammelled and when
nothing prevents our being able to do what we like best, every
pleasure is to be welcomed and every pain avoided. But in certain
circumstances and owing to the claims of duty or the obligations of
business it will frequently occur that pleasures have to be
repudiated and annoyances accepted. The wise man therefore always
holds in these matters to this principle of selection: he rejects
pleasures to secure other greater pleasures, or else he endures
pains to avoid worse pains.
“That everything is on fire, slow fire, and we're all less than a
million breaths away from an oblivion more total than we can even
bring ourselves to even try to imagine...”
― David Foster Wallace
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the
people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train
myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live
and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and
physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly
― Sylvia Plath
"And so being young and dipped in folly I fell in love with
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the
stars." ~Oscar Wilde
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to
live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the
same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but
burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like
spiders across the stars.”
"The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first,
restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes
dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure.
That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony,
boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without
knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic
with their families. They raise children. And then some shock
treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens
them from and saves them from death. Some never awaken. They are
like the people who go to sleep in the snow and never
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens
can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
"What is needed is a realization that power without love is
reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and
anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of
justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything
that stands against love." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” Jimi Hendrix
“Art is not a mirror held up to reality, but a hammer
to shape it.” -Bertolt Brecht
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be
absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” Marilyn Monroe
"Love and death are the two gifts that we pass on, and usually they
are passed on unopened." ~Rainer Maria Rilke
"If the doors of perception were cleansed,
then everything would appear to man as it is,
infinite." ~William Blake
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." ~ Mahatma
"I don't fuck much with the past but I fuck plenty with the
future." -Patti Smith
"Love all complex things simply." -Cheryl Turney
"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good
"I'm not sentimental, I'm as romantic as you are. The idea, you
know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last. The
romantic person has a desperate confidence that they won't"
The meaning of life. How to work to live instead of live to
To assume that there is a single meaning to life is to assume that
life has no meaning.