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35 Toronto, Ontario, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 6:55am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from space camp
Rather not say
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
**before i begin, i would like to express something about this website (and similar ones) and this medium.... the internet and 'personals' websites/apps have given us the opportunity to express ourselves in a way that no other has ever been able to do.... we are given the freedom to open ourselves up to the world in a way that we have control, and to connect with people who we otherwize would never have known existed.... i find it appalling how many people take their digital 'selves' for granted, and create their footprints in ways that are either ingenuine, pretentious, or downright 100% fake.... i don't take this medium for granted, and i have no issue expressing my REAL self here, even if it means having a legion of haters and people who think they're too far above this medium to give it (and us) the credit it's due.... i highly suggest that if you're not going to be real and/or don't have the guts or the humility to be real, you should turn your computers/phones/tablets off and cancel your internet subscriptions.... you are only making it harder for the rest of us who don't take our digital selves for granted.... thank you....**

i'm not on here trying to sell myself, i'm here to BE myself.... that means in the course of reading this profile (should you choose to), you will most likely encounter things about me that you either don't like or would rather not know.... but i digress: i would personally rather hear a bitter truth than a sugary-sweet lie.... it takes guts to go against the grain and be upfront about and embrace it.... and well.... spineless people and i never really got along very well anyway....

i consider myself to be a realist and not a romanticist, and do not cut myself short by describing myself through a series of cliches and affirmations.... while it is nice to describe one's self from an ideal perspective, let's face it: IT'S NOT REAL.... we all take a shit, we all look like crap when we first wake up, and we all have things that we are neurotic about.... if you think you are above that, then you are lying to yourself.... we should embrace our bedhead and crusty eyes just as much as lounging on a sandy white beach with a mai-tai and a 600 dollar smartphone.... ergo: you will get crustiness along with fluffiness with me....

these are my words and this is my story....

my given name is christopher.... i was born in sarnia, ontario on the summer solstice in 1979 to british parents who decided to part ways when i was only 3 months old.... there, i attended montessori school from age 2 (yes, i started SCHOOL when i was 2...) i am both gemini and cancerian, and my shaman spirit animal is the keenly observant ferret.... i was raised in london, ontario from age 7, where i attended a school for the performing arts, and 2 high schools which which were a mixture of academic/music and technical/dance.... outside of school growing up, i also played violin in several orchestras, acted in plays, produced and performed in fashion and drag shows, and choreographed dance workshops for aspiring performers.... all before i was 19....

i moved to toronto in 1998 for college, and according to my diploma i am supposed to be a music producer right now.... but i have actually not done anything major with that due to a complete overhaul of the music industry and a change in my consciousness.... since college, i have been many things.... a barista, a retail chocolatier, a professional ice cream scooper, SEO campaign co-ordinator, barback at a strip club, dating website moderator, administrative assistant, social media specialist, a cook for the homeless and impoverished, and now.... well.... you can scroll to the next section to find that out....

i've always considered myself an outsider to life.... not identifying very well with others, and never feeling any true sense of 'belonging' to anything.... i was even rejected by the church of scientology after taking one of those funky tests.... now THAT's a feat... i am too much of a cult to belong to one.... sure i get involved with things, but i do so somehow without being able to connect to them as deeply as i would like to.... rather, i spend more time observing the world around me.... always looking at the bigger picture, always making comparisons, and always on the lookout for those crazy anomalies that make life so interesting....

having said that, i'm not on here looking for anything in particular.... i have no faith in monogamy, and don't respond well to the standard romantic overtures.... i'm also highly introverted, so i also don't respond well to the standard activities that people seem to get in to.... i don't like bars and clubs because the music tends to suck and i don't care to watch everyone take selfies while sipping on overpriced domestic draught beer and thinking: "i could be having way more fun by myself at home...." i don't travel or take vacations since i don't drive, don't have a passport, and have do real desire to go anywhere and watch people take more selfies.... i couldn't possibly sit through a 2 hour movie or show in those uncomfortable seats while overdressed and over-scented patrons take even more selfies.... and while getting out to a beach or something sounds relaxing, my eyes are far too sensitive to light now and it just hurts.... oh yes.... and i don't want to watch people take even more fucking selfies....

**you can read more about my degenerative eye condition in the next section....**

quirks aside, i'm still very much a human being.... i think.... highly introverted, spiritual, creative, articulate, and facetious.... i'm told i'm funny, and full of all kinds of bizarre information about even more bizarre things.... i dislike clutter, large crowds, frivolity, gluttony, and excess.... (and you would be surprised how little i can live with, even in a large urban centre where so much of what i consider to be excessive and frivolous is seen as 'standard' to most people....) i'm highly sensitive to vibes, and regard the metaphysical with as much attention as i pay to the other 5 senses.... one would be amazed at how much truth can be found on that plane.... you just need a spaceship to get there.... :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
well, let's see....

in a nutshell, i guess you could say that i am rebuilding my universe after what i would attest to being the worst year of my adult life.... 2014 SUCKED ASS, and i'm not afraid to say it.... the first half of the year was actually very rewarding, having done some fulfilling work for a local non-profit organization that allowed me to help raise money for homelessness and poverty in toronto....

sadly though, just after my 35th birthday i fell victim to some nerve damage in my right arm that was a result of 20+ years of repetitive stress.... (7 years of intensive violin training, 3 years of pounding out commercial espresso filters, 2+ years of scooping hard ice cream for uber-high-volume parlours, and another 7+ years of computer work can take its toll apparently....) ergo: i had to stop working in order for my arm to heal (as i had actually lost most of the feeling in my hand), and have more or less been playing a big boring waiting game....

my arm has pretty much healed now, but unfortunately 2015 has brought forth its own set of challenges of which i am unable to recover.....

i have glaucoma.... advanced glaucoma.... so advanced, that the pressure from my eyes to my optic nerves is actually unreadable by modern technology.... i was diagnosed about 10 years ago, and outside the fact that i'm virtually unresponsive to medications, i'm also of the 0.5% of people who suffers increased states of depression when taking them.... i only found out about this VERY recently after a trip to the specialist to get some new 'special' glasses prescribed, and i can only tell you that i'm mad as hell about it because i was not warned that this was even a possibility by any medical professional including my pharmacist....

having said that, my left eye is now dead, and my right one has about 50% vision left in it.... i wear glasses with a special filter to protect my eyes from light, which often makes it hard for me to get around; especially on rainy nights and bright sunny days.... i am now considered an unfortunate liability to employers, so i am now in the process of figuring out what i CAN do without being a hazard to myself or the world around me.... it means that i now basically live a lifestyle very similar to the people who i was in service to for many years, and am in the process of learning to live as 'normal' a life as i can with much less than anyone could possibly imagine....

the process has been a balance of small states of liberation combined with large states of frustration and anxiety.... but oddly enough, i actually feel quite comfortable in my current lifestyle.... i rented a small bachelor apartment in the dank ghetto of parkdale, and i live the experience in true ghetto style with my cat and my plants.... it's not much to look at, and i have so few possessions that even in my tiny space there is still room for me to have my own personal dancefloor and i use it daily.... more 'stuff' for me only means more to maintain, and more that i could potentially knock down and stub my toes on.... as it is, i have to live in fear of knocking down small children and animals when i leave my place (among other things like fire hydrants and gas meters), and to be honest i really don't need them.... i would rather have more room to dance than another chair that's 'not for sitting'....
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
alienating people, appearing and disappearing at random, writing absurdities, liquid pop-locking and beatboxing, engaging in flourishing streams of intelligent text-based conversation, being misunderstood, falling through the cracks, stepping stones, harmonizing, rolling a joint, finding deeper meaning in simplicity, living large with little things....
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
people are generally taken by the fact that i look extremely young for my age.... too young, in fact.... it's amusingly awkward when i get carded by people who are younger than me as i purchase a lighter at 7-11.... on the downside though, i've had a few experiences where i have been propositioned by older men who want to live out a pedophilic fantasy with someone who is of legal age.... i was 33 the last time that happened, and i will spare you the details of the verbal castration i performed on him....

on another funny tip, people also seem to take note of the fact that i have a very pubescent sounding voice.... it changed when i was 13, but actually never broke.... on that note, i am often mistaken for a middle aged woman when talking to people on the telephone.... i remember once being introduced to someone, and when i said hello they laughed in my face and asked me if that was my real voice.... it's like maude, but backwards....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books: dynamic stillness: the art and practice of trika yoga, by swami chetnananda (it's yoga without 'posing', or being a poser for that matter....); bad wisdom, by bill drummond and mark manning (of the timelords and the KLF - justified ancients of mu mu); oh! the places you'll go!, by dr. seuss (because it's great motivation, given to me by someone who i hold very dear....) the secret diary of adrian mole, age 13 & 3/4, by sue townsend (and the shole rest of the series.... it got me through pre-pubescense, and was the first book that made me laugh out loud.... favourite entry: "my nipples have swollen.... i'm turning in to a girl!" LMAO!)

films: the naked gun (any one of the 3 will do), airplane!, kentucky fried movie, spaceballs, american beauty, white chicks, short bus, thank you for smoking.... it's pretty eclectic, though it's rare that you'll see me sit down for a hollywood blockbuster..... (ie: i have not seen any of the harry potter, DC/marvel comic, zombie apocalypse or LOTR films, or anything else of that nature....)

television programs: golden girls, law&order, top chef, afterlife AND 'this life' (the UK series with andrew lincoln), mrs. brown's boys, CSINY, miss marple, all kinds of cartoons and subtitled anime.... (aside from the fact that dubbed anime sounds awkward, i can brush up on my literacy skills and learn japanese while i watch.....)

music (in no particular order except for mj+jj):
michael and janet jackson and all their crazy siblings, ulrich schnauss, groove armada, daft punk, robert miles, peter gabriel, a-ha, armand van helden, simply red, the brand new heavies, samuel barber, stevie wonder, earth wind and fire, dionne farris ivana santilli, sasha and digweed, lexaunculpt, scott hardkiss, queen, underworld, sade, maxwell, dimitri from paris, genesis, boyz II men, erykah badu, jill scott, pm dawn, arrested development, jann arden, black box, la tour, jamiroquai, tori amos, kruder and dorfmeister, aphex twin, st. germain, nelly furtado, TDF, chicane, rick astley, tears for fears, hybrid, george benson, frankie goes to hollywood, ralph tresvant, sarah mclaughlan, alana davis, betthoven, justin timberlake, derrick may, joni mitchell, donna summer, high contrast, erik mongrain, michael mcdonald,, angie stone, goldie, orbital, t-1000, phil collins, simply red, ragazzini, barry white and the love unlimited orchestra, tina turner, lucy pearl, tiesto, the art of noise, en vogue, george michael, brownstone, massive attack, c+c music factory, aaliyah, pearl jam, the verve, the KLF, cassius, prince, madonna, dvorák, the prodigy, senor cocconut, TLC, oasis, shirley bassey, mozart, prince, lemon jelly, mary j. blige, the avalanches, the cure, stan getz, yolk, annie lennox, thievery corporation, robyn, kool and the gang, maysa, john b, seal, ethereal 77, miguel, the pointer sisters, whitney houston, faithless, depeche mode, brandy, cathy dennis, outkast, missy elliot, ....hmm.... i'm going to have to continue this later.... it just keeps growing and might take me hours to finish....

DJ's (YES DJ'S!!!!!): scott hardkiss, T-1000, elcarundo, sasha and digweed, dimitri from paris, aaron simpson, dj red lion, robb g, eyedol, worltrance, deko-ze(before he went circuit), jeremy healy, carl cox, krafty kutz, jazzy jeff, greg benz, mark oliver, and any other dj who can spin a mad intelligent catharsis of eclectic beats, melodies and vocals that send me in to a state of sonic oblivion.....

food: my relationship with food is one that i hold very dear, especially after working in non-profit soup kitchens where most of the ingredients are either cheap, donated, or both.... in those kitchens, it's like every day is a brand new episode of 'chopped', and i carry those same principles in to my own kitchen, where i am in a constant state of creative experimentation.... having said that, i have become a master of slow-cooked comfort foods, soups, stews, curries, roasts, dips, condiments, and even ice cream.... (i have an oldskool salton sorbitiere in my cupboard that i rescued from almost being sent to a landfill....) i also like to bake, and while most bakers will say that love is the secret ingredient, i have discovered another sensation that makes my buns rise a whole lot better....
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot. (and my super-awesome sony font-pad headphones that offer big sound at a reasonable price and don't make me scared of getting robbed on the subway),

MY ESPRESSO MACHINE (and i KNOW how to use it....),

DOLLARAMA (and its utopia of munchies, useful gadgets, and craft supplies),

CASUAL VANILLA SEX (and my lack of shame for having it as i walk home the next day.... i have not, do not, and will not participate in anal sex of any kind.... ever.... i am forced to eat shit and like it enough in the figurative sense, thank you....)

MY NETBOOK (as it is my hub of communication and entertainment media),

MY ALONE TIME (as i am a textbook introvert.... if you don't get what that means, i suggest googling an article called 'caring for your introvert' by the atlantic monthly.... changed my life....)

**notice how i did not say anything about friends and family? that's because at various periods in my life, i have lived without them so i already know that i can....**
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
i think a lot about the system.... all these levels of government shuffling around, having 'conversations', constantly putting confidence in jeopardy, and yet nothing seems to get done.... like seriously.... it's all nice and progressive to have a gay premier and all, but that woman needs to stop talking and start taking some real bold action.... if only we could get judge judy to run things....

i also wonder about that notorious sheldon cooper.... why is it that after seven seasons of his nonsense, not a single person has beat the royal fucking shit out of him? i've heard that frying pans to the head can work wonders....
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
alone, thinking, and distracting myself with media and food alongside my equally as introverted feline who is usually hiding in a cupboard somewhere.... but my cat can also lick his own penis, so no matter where he happens to be hiding, he's always having more fun than me....
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
well this could get me in to a lot of trouble on here or it could make me some new allies.... but i think the state of gay culture is a joke, and that we propagate the world's ignorance by dividing ourselves in to so many ridiculous categories and archetypes that in the end, i doubt we will ever be truly accepted by society.... or each other.... every time they think they know us and can accept us, we switch it up by putting some ridiculous noun or adjective before 'sexual' and go on some stupid crusade about it, and cry 'PHOBIC!' when people misunderstand us/you.... save it.... i'm a homosexual.... there is no crusade, there is no parade, and i will not fight your battles for you.... if you have a problem with that, FUCK YOU!

i am also a canadian, so i say that in the nicest possible way..... ;)

and this isn't really private to the people who know me, but in the proper contexts, i can smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, swear like a sailor, and flatulate like a dirty old man who just ate a big bowl of chili with a side of overcooked broccoli and washed it down with 3 pints of draught beer....

you have been warned.....
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are friendly, intelligent, not a walking stereotype, and don't feel the need to tell me that my life is sad or try to analyze me.... i already know i'm not normal in even the loosest sense of the word.... tell me something new....

you should also own yourself.... i have a major aversion to people who place pretentious labels on themselves as an excuse for their behaviour.... (ie: don't call yourself polyamorous as though it makes you seem progressive and modern.... you're just a slutty hipster.... OWN IT!!!)

but in all honesty, you don't have to message me because 99% of the time it's me who will initiate first contact with people on these websites.... i just wait to find out what 25% of those people will actually respond back....