Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Writer. I write right. Artist. I art artsy. Friend to small
animals, lover of beverages. I have a mouth, two eyes, a nose, ten
fingers and ten(ish) toes. Mmhmm.
I think a hallmark of a strong relationship is each person knowing
how the other likes their eggs.
I wish they all weren't California girls.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I published my first novel a couple years ago. Ever working on that
During my day hours, I work for a local university breaking up
their subjects and predicates.
I left the diet, drugs, and income sections intentionally blank on
this profile because what are you, my mother?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Clearly, and I think we can all agree here, writing OkCupid
In other arenas, I not-so-recently worked a shift at a kissing
booth. Customer feedback was overwhelmingly positive... though
certain male visitors did register concerns about lack of
enthusiasm. Complaints in this regard were handled swiftly by an
eager friend on the booth's customer response team.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
They notice that when I walk in a room, this starts
Though, admittedly, lately, it's been more...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
*Ahem* Favorite books, movies, shows, music, food, AND drink.
Favorite: The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy, The Third Man, Boardwalk
Empire, Beach House, Kalamata Olives, and a Pimm's Cup.
Most Recent (as of right this very second writing this): Of Time
and the River by Thomas Wolfe, The Grand Budapest Hotel, True
Detective, Shlohmo "Rained the Whole Time", a cucumber, turkey, and
cream cheese sandwich on oatnut bread, and a tom collins with home
infused earl grey gin.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My endocrine system
My central nervous system
My circulatory system
My digestive system
My lymphatic system
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Women, naturally... and women naturally.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Having a drink with you, of course. Am I late? Oh god. First there
was this thing at the office. Here, let me take your coat. You
wouldn't believe it. We had to fix this whole series of... You
weren't waiting long, were you? Okay, good. Well anyway, then BART
was packed, and it was just pandemonium, and... Is that our waiter?
Let me flag him down and get us some drinks. Waiter! He sees me.
Anyhow, you look great. New color of lipstick? Change your hair?
Something. Well you look wonderful.
I tell you, I am bushed. Should we start with a cocktail or are you
feeling more like a beer? Oh! Hello, waiter. I'll have a gin and
ginger with half ginger beer, half ginger ale, and a lime, on ice,
please. Water also. Still will be fine. And dear, what are you
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was just not-so-recently featured on a blog featuring hots beards
& butts. Sadly, it was for my beard. Someday....
I once invented (and played to fruition) a 'strip' variant of
Scrabble that works surprisingly well. Nope, not kidding. Strip
Scrabble is what all the kids are playing these days.
My fridge currently contains a bottle of $100+ champagne next to a
few cans of Pabst. This might be the most illuminating fact on this
Addendum: All you Bay Area profiles that say you're sapiosexual...
I just immediately imagine you looking at butts.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I am seeking a woman who is interested in men. Also, she should
just be the cat's pajamas.
Who are you looking for?
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