I’m a comedy writer and performer, for one thing. Which is enough red flag right there. I’m broke and I work constantly, of course, with little change of anything good ever happeninh. And naturally I can never get enough validation. I get just enough feedback from my comedy videos to keep me doing it, but not enough to make a living. I also have a comedy science podcast. I know. The worst. I spend way more time on the podcast than is reasonable for the number of people who listen to it. I also write iphone apps, which takes a lot of time and hasn't gotten me much to show for it. To top it all off I used to make a good living as a computer programmer, but I quit to be a broke "artist" of some sort.
I have a gigantic head.
I have anxiety and insomnia, and after I do finally get to sleep forget about waking me up. I've never taken anti-depressants; instead I get just a little bit high pretty much every day. I quit smoking cigarettes, but after a few drinks I’m bumming them left and right. A real turnoff I know.
My favorite color is yellow. Yellow for godsakes. Who picks yellow?
I cook a lot, but refuse to use recipes, so the results are not predictable. I have a garden, I recycle and compost, like some intolerable live-food, eco-nut. I always say I'm going to do yoga more, but you probably won't see it happen. I'm incredibly liberal, but I can't stand humorless liberals. I will laugh out loud if you say you are libertarian.
I don't like watching sports on TV and if you talk about "your team" I will yawn.
I don't care about fashion. There, I said it. I think designer clothes, expensive handbags, tons of makeup and impractical shoes look shallow, conformist and/or ridiculous. I sometimes wear a suit, but mostly for sketch comedy purposes. The rest of the time I will be wearing something comfortable I found at Out of the Closet.
I greatly prefer LA when it's rainy and overcast. If you worship the sun I am your antichrist.
I know you just love to travel, but I'll be too distracted by my hundreds of creative projects to go anywhere. I'm not going to finish any of these projects, mind you, I'll just be thinking about them in the back of my mind when I'm supposed to be paying attention to you.
I stay up late and sleep late whenever possible. I would much sooner stay up til 6 than get up then. If you get up at dawn and turn useless after midnight we just won't work.
I'm not hippie enough for you hippies, not burner enough for you burners, not punk enough for you punks, not bicyclist enough for you bicyclists, not political enough for you politicals, not bookworm enough for you bookworms, not writer enough for you writers, not actor enough for you actors, but regardless I think you are all lovely and attractive.
I don’t think opposites attract. I think the opposite. I might pretend to be humble, but I'm really just looking to date myself. And even then I'll get bored in 3 months.
No, I don't want to be just friends first. If you like to play hard to get, you will not be gotten. I'm not into pressuring or rushing into sex, but like you I want to feel wanted and I am looking to date someone who is actually physically attracted to me. If I don't feel like this is the case, I'm out. Also, if you tell me that normally you would sleep with a guy right away, but you like me so much that in my case you want to wait, you will probably not ever see me again.
I take the match percentages on here way too seriously. Below 90 I'm dubious. Below 80 fat chance, Below 70, bleh. Below 50 I assume you're a right-wing crackpot married to Jesus or something.
Also, I'm definitely going to judge your math and science answers.
I'm allergic to sincerity.
Oh yeah, I ride a scooter. A scooter for godsake. Not even a nice looking one. I painted it as an art project, but now it just looks like a discarded Jackson Pollock misstep. Also, if you live more than 5 miles from Silverlake I probably won't date you. Yes. The worst.