After being on this site for almost a year… and having enjoyed about all I could stand… I decided it was time for a re-write... I’ve read hundreds of profiles and have to say… a lot of you people need to get professional help… good news is I feel a lot better about myself now… LOL The part I just can’t believe is… I still haven’t met that special someone… Lots of people I know get lots of dates on here… and I think I finally figured out what I was doing wrong… I told the truth about myself… and who wants to hear that crap… LOL... Corse if you’re actually planning to meet someone at some point face to face… It just seemed better to me to have not lied about myself… although that thought must not have occurred to any of the girls I have met so far… let’s get real people… it’s like this…if you had to post an old picture of yourself… because all your new ones make ya look old or fat… there’s a reason… Wake up and smell the bacon burning… we all think we look younger than we are… and we all think were sex machines… and that we can handle multiple partners half our age… at least all the men do anyway…problem is… no one ever verified that we were qualified to be thinking in the first place… but… in everyone’s defense… you can’t really expect someone who is trying to make a sale… to list all there flaws… So now what… How the heck would I know…So I guess I should actually say something about myself here... and having said that… I will say this… I’m apparently just another idiot amongst an endless sea of idiots… I’m easy to get along with and can always think of something funny… at least to me… plus I’m like an encyclopedia of useless facts and information… and did I mention that I look young for my age… and am like a sex machine… LOL

I suppose that I’m still just living it… I get up… Go to work… Come home… Go to bed… And party on the weekends… Actually that’s an oversimplification… The truth is… after being married for 28 years she had a midlife crisis and ran off… I originally thought she left with a truck driver… because I know it took an 18 wheeler to haul off that many pairs of shoes… After that I found myself not only a little gun shy… but also a little lost... I soon realizing that this was my “open door” to do whatever I wanted without having to acquire permission… that’s when I decided to go for it and become a Marine Biologist… Unfortunately… there is no ocean in the middle of the country… not to mention that it would require some intelligents and a degree… So I decided to utilize my existing skills and became an underwear model… Not really… but that’s exactly what I was talking about in the previous section… and you was probably getting into it too… LOL… the truth is I work a lot… play hard when I can… and try to be realistic about what is achievable and what is not… Oh yea… and I do most of it with my pants on…

Bragging time has arrived… LOL. I suppose you already figured out that I’m fairly efficient at… writing silly stuff… But what ya didn’t know is that I also write poetry and songs… And because people always want me to play some instrument and sing for them… You could say I’m good at torturing people… I would like to think I’m a good smuggler… but I must be of European decent… Because sometimes I have Roman hands and Russian fingers… I can usually find humor in about any situation… Although it may just be funny to me… I am very quick witted… and can typically respond with a smart aleck answer almost instantly… I have an almost supernatural ability to see thru peoples BS… And did I mention… Nah… I’ll skip the sex machine thing this time… LOL.

Who comes up with all these questions? There are just no simple answers to any of them, or is it just me… LOL. To be perfectly honest my first reaction to this question was… “Who cares”… LOL. Who is running around asking other people what they noticed? Do people actually do that? Or does everyone except me just know? If I was to answer saying “my wonderful smile or amazing sense of humor”… I would be a little arrogant… I would also just be guessing. For all I know there looking at my cute butt and amazing body…

OK… Finally one I can answer… Books… That would require the ability to read… And who said I possessed that… Movies… Yep I like them… Plus… It’s like reading a book… Less the reading part… Music… That’s easy… I like both kinds… Country and western… OK… And maybe old rock… And one or two hip hop songs… But don’t tell anyone… And lastly… Food… I like all kinds… And even if I don’t… I am at least willing to try it… Because worst case scenario… I know how to spit… LOL.

Breakfast, my Cell Phone, Friends, Laughter, my Guitar, and some sort of plan… Not necessarily in that order.

This was an interesting question. And my official answer is… I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to be when I grow up… Oh… but wait… I am grown up… how depressing is that… you suddenly realize that your all grown up… and you still haven’t decided what you want to be… guess I better not set my sights too high at this point… I have an idea… if all else fails I could always be… a looser… that’s perfect because it wouldn’t take a lot of effort… and women seem to be really attracted to them… Awesome… I just love it when I have a good plan…

Obviously… I’m either a creature of habit… a glutton for punishment… or both… because even though I moved… I still find myself doing the same thing every Friday night… in my defense… I am in a new place… with new people… so even though it’s exactly the same… it’s also completely different… LOL. So I suppose if you’re still reading… that could be construed as your being curious about what it is that I like to do… and now I guess you think I’m going to spill it… OK… if you insist… typically I’m hanging out at either Denim and Diamonds or Club Rodeo… begging like a dog for someone to dance with me… yea rite… LOL… and I’m usually there Saturday night too…

I am mesmerized by a woman with blond hair and blue eyes… and something about a short girl draws me in... and skinny is good… but none of the above is a requirement… Just stuff that I like…

OK people… Here it is in black and white… I will chat with most anyone that is interesting and wants to talk… BUT… Don’t be having any happy or romantic thoughts if you know you don’t fit my criteria… Contrary to popular belief… I am not perfect… Therefore I am not expecting anyone else to be perfect either… But take a quick look in the mirror… If your 20+ lbs over weight and resemble a pear… Missing your front teeth or have a severe case of turrets because of your drug addictions… Or your holding a beer and it’s not even noon… Don’t waste your time or mine…