Around that time my life took a sharp turn. I never touched the instruments again. No drama, I don't really know how to explain what happened. I think I ever painted only for the critics, I found it hard to enjoy it just for the sake of the process. It's not unpleasant, but I live for the award, if I do something, it has to be a competition. I don't have to win, but I need the thrill.
I switched to programming. After eight or so years I'm still an amateur, which bothers me a lot. I applied to open uni, mathematics, but now I'm on hiatus.
There are cons and pros. Programmers receive exaggerated salaries, completely disproportionate to the effort or knowledge, but hey, that should be a good thing, right? On average, programmers are more conformists at heart. It's hard to find interesting personalities who'd pursue this trade. Not impossible, but really hard. Managers are worse yet.
I don't blend with my "national" background. Unlike most Russian emigrants here, I hold very liberal political views, not into drinking or national foods etc. I don't like the local Middle-eastern stuff either. Which makes me a misfit on a number of levels.
Ironically, I don't get along at all with those who have to have some formal bonds with me (such as family, nationality, location). Most people I'm friendly to live oversees. It seems like the further is the better.
Some times this makes me sad, other times I don't care.
Those who have the misfortune to suffer me at their work space would probably say that I just hate people (meaning I hate them), which would be technically true, but as you can see, not entirely so. I believe that, unless you are my close friend, you'd think that I'm a rare pain in the ass, someone who thrives on finding flaws in those around him. The truth being somewhere close: I'm very upset by mediocrity. But I hold myself to the same high standards, which justifies it for me, in a weird way...
Carelessly happy people insult me.