I am very complicated. To people who don't know me, this can seem
like a bad thing. I have a habit of disappearing, and in a lot of
cases, never really being there in the first place. There are
people I've been friends with my entire life who know almost
nothing about me. It's not that I'm mysterious, and I'm certainly
not quiet. It takes a special kind of person to get me to talk
about the past. Usually, my mind is stuck in a loop, planning my
next big scheme. My life is full of extremes. I have a hard time
taking the middle ground in any situation, and I make a lot of
drastic decisions. I understand this text box is not a therapist,
and I also understand that I'm making myself sound unlikeable, but
see, that's just the thing: I'm not unlikeable at all. In fact, I
am fucking fascinating. I've been everywhere. I've done everything.
I am an astronaut and a coward.
When I type my username into the search bar on OkCupid, it says I
am a 0% enemy with myself, which isn't true.
I've written two books, the more legitimate of which is available
for free at www.sarcasticbottlecap.com
I'm originally from Missouri, and I am currently in Missouri, but I
never seem to be here long. I spend my summers in Alaska, and I'm
considering spending my winters in the Caribbean starting this
year, because I've got a lot of connections there.
I'm afraid of clowns and Super Wal-Mart.