Do you know who I am? I don't know how to put this...but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I have many leatherbound books and my apartment smells of mahogany.

About me:

I will not make you gag or flinch when looking at me for the first time.
I have a history degree which has done me nothing but spout out obscure facts at random times. For example, the Battle of Hastings was one of the sweetest battles in history, as in it was totally sweet.
I make a pretty good tour guide to Seattle's world of pure imagination.
I have an encyclopedic knowledge of 80s music videos, go on ask me anything about Tears for Fears, Lita Ford, or Courtney Cox's role in the He-Man movie.
I have never had to visit the food bank or the free clinic.
I have never had a restraining order against me.

You:

Should be prepared for radness.
Should be old enough to order a drink or three at a local dive bar.
Should have no visible deformities, but a third eye would be kinda cool.
Should love to go see a metal show at the Showbox or wander around an art gallery and make fun of all we see.
Should not be crazy, unless it is in a good way.
Should not mind if I skip a day shaving.
Should have an unhealthy obsession with pirates, webcomics, 80s music, microbrews, or some other unique aspect from popular culture.
Should want to visit Panama one day because Van Halen once sung an awesome song about it, or maybe because it is warm.
Finally, if you are trolling on free dating sites you should have a sense of humor about it.

Soooooo drop me a line and see what happens. I'll take you to some fancy eating restaurant, you know one that does not have ketchup in a packet, but in a bottle.

Right now I work nights as an armored truck driver/cash guy. It is hard to meet people when you sleep during the day and when people do see me I'm carrying a firearm on my hip. Good times.

When not carrying large amounts of cash I'm trying to convince my friends to go out, but they all have kids, or do not have permission from their significant others. Lame!

Although I'm trying to save money to buy a house, I still go out to concerts, movies, and throw money on hookers and blow (kidding!). I picked up the hobby of brewing my own beer and I'm currently striving to make the perfect pint. I do need feedback so, please, try some. (Not kidding!)

Awkward first impressions.
Drawing horribly.
Singing along to Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-blog. (Look it up, it is awesome.)
Avoiding usage of emoticons and smiley faces. ;)

is that I have two arms and legs.

I can't imagine my life before hulu and netflix instant viewing. I just finished The Wire...AMAZING! Current shows I'm into include Rome, Tudors, the Wire, Venture Brothers, Breaking Bad, Metalocalypse, Daily Show with John Stewart, 30 Rock, the Office, Modern Family, and endless Youtube videos that although entertain me, leave me with a sense the human race is not worth saving.

When not watching movies and tv, usually comedies, I like to listen to music. I'm the first to admit I have bad taste in music. I like both kinds of music, 80s and metal. Some of my favorite bands include Opeth, Mastodon, Amon Amarth, Led Zeppelin, and recently I've developed an unhealthy obsession with instrumental bands with long, drawn out songs such as Godspeed You Black Emperor, Pelican, Explosions In The Sky, and Russian Circles. Don't worry if you haven't heard of them, I promise I'm not trying to sound elitist. Most of the music I listen to has the ability to scare small children.

As for food, I'm a big fan of Mexican restaurants. I am currently on a quest to discover the city's most tasty burger. So far it is Zak's in Ballard with Red Mill a close second. Bonus points if you can recommend another place of that caliber.

I believe if I had to I could renounce all my possessions and walk the Earth like Kane in Kung-Fu. The following list is after the essentials, food, air, water, clothes, etc, and although not essential, make my life much more enjoyable. It also is assuming the inevitable zombie apocalypse has yet to occur.

1) My homebrewing kit, I love making my own beer.
2) My comic collection, I'm a little nerdy, but not in your face about it.
3) Pen and paper so I can draw.
4) A way to listen to music, radio, computer, etc.
5) The occasional hamburger or taco, sorry vegans if we end up dating I will have to sneak off at least once a week to satisfy my meat cravings.
6) Last but not least, friends and family.
7) Oh, and sparkly vampires. (Kidding!)

Your Mom.
The lyrics to obscure 80s songs.
Why there is a party in my pants and no one is invited?
Do we really live in the Matrix?
If I was able to clone Hitler and raise him in today's society could he be a nice guy?
Who would win in a fight between Joan of Arc and Helen of Troy?
If I could go back in time where should I invest money, should I invent Facebook or your momma jokes?

If it's Friday, then I gotta get down on Friday. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Kicking in the backseat, hanging in the front seat. Which seat do I take?

Now that I have the worst song in the world stuck in your head, I could be found on a Friday night at a show, the movies, having a hombrew party with my homebrew friends, or just chilling at home with some entertainment courtesy of the local library system. You know, fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.

Like Ponyboy, I long to stay gold.

you are like Jem and outrageous, truly, truly outrageous. I'm pretty open and eager to meet new people. All my friends are now married and want to talk about their kids. I can only smile and nod with fake interest for so long. I got concerts to go to.

Just to be up front, if you consider yourself "high maintenance" or if 9 out of 10 ex boyfriends would call you "bat shit crazy" or if you are described as "needs medication" we probably will not work out. I'm pretty laid back and try to gravitate to people of the same mindset.

If you still have doubts, remember bad decisions make good stories, I want to be your next good story.