I was raised the child of “Mormon hippies” in rural Idaho. Although no longer religious, I abide by this Mormon aphorism: “As man is, God once was. As God is, man may become."

In a previous life, I did organ banking research. My days during that time were filled with rabbit kidney transplant surgery, and the occasional lab fire.

Tired of poverty, I switched careers in 2000, and became a computer programmer. I'm currently a senior programmer for a start-up mutual fund.

On the weekends, I dance the blues, and attend floating festivals.

Plotting adventures destined to land me in a third world prison.

Fooling babies. I got your nose, suckah!

The unusual pride I take in my ability to intellectually dominate babies.

Books: Superfluous Hair and Its Removal, The Fountainhead, The Selfish Gene, Lord of the Rings, Song of Fire and Ice, Pillars of the Earth
Movies: The City of Lost Children, Dark City, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, Witness, Alien, Ghostbusters, The Ring, Army of Darkness/Evil Dead, No Country For Old Men, Wall-E, The Fall, Up, Gladiator, Shawshank Redemption
Shows: Breaking Bad, Dexter, True Blood, 30 Rock, Game of Thrones, Deadwood, The Sopranos, South Park
Music: Annie Lennox, Enya, Melissa Etheridge. Musically, I'm a lesbian.
Food: Steak, curly fries, stir fry, sushi

Dental floss. Patton Oswalt. Eight hours of sleep. The number of a good criminal defense attorney. Canon 5D. Google navigation.

...a alternate telling of Lord of the Rings from Sauron's perspective.

...removing superfluous body hair.

I can read minds.

For example, right now, you're thinking "Harumph! He can't read minds! That's unpossible!"

And now you're thinking "Whoah!"

Now you're thinking "Hmmmmmh, cheeseburger."

Uncanny, isn't it?

...you're a woman who could spring me out of a third world prison.