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cremulus

52 M Chester, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 40–57
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Dec 3, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 6″ (1.98m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[edit] - I seem to have found someone, through this very site no less, so for the moment (and hopefully for the future) I'm not looking for a partner...

I'm a designer, pretty creative on the whole, and widely regarded as having a good sense of humour, sometimes even by people who have one themselves, or who have at least heard of them and think they're a good idea.

Um... I'm tempted to add good with children at this point since it's sounding like I'm advertising a pet... why are these things so hard to write? Hell, this is making me sound boring - I'm not, if you can imagine how anyone who had ever claimed not to be boring could actually not be boring... I just freeze up when I write these things.

It might have been a mistake but a while back I tried asking my friends for ideas about what to say here. With minor edits the discussion went like this:

Simon (me):
I've been updating my profile on a dating site. Awful... utterly awful. I find it so hard to write anything about myself... I write turgid prose and reading it there's no way it represents the dynamic, thrusting, handsome and sexy figure I cut in my own imagination. Or even reality.

Gretchen:
I say that you should copy and paste what you said there... pretty much covers it ;)

Jo:
I think we should all pitch in and write two lines each for his dating profile, then combine them all. Then he can post it and say all his friends wrote it together. lol

Gretchen:
>:} I'm in ~grabs pencil~ Those supposedly single, possibly females, won't know what hit 'em!!!! hehehehe

Jo:
..not to mention how cool they'd think he is because he has so many friends helping him out. *big beaming grin*

Gretchen:
Should sound even better that many of his friends are supposedly/possibly single and female as well. I see bonus points coming your way Simon!!!!!

Simon:
Hang on... I know how suspicious you female types can be - first they'll think I made you all up and then they'll wonder why all you single ones are trying to palm me off on someone else. They won't know most of you live 3000 miles away.

Jo:
Shush, we're working on this. lol

Gretchen:
Do you thing that 5 syllable words are too much for married transvestites??? I may need to rethink my approach >br />
Jo:
lol! SO mean!

Gretchen:
And to think he's passed me up for a singles site... ='(

Jo:
Now, now...one must be objective when writing one's assessment. ;)

Gretchen:
Ok...so 2 syllables and "flattering" got ya! ~sharpens pencil~

Jo:
"Sharp, witty, high-tech and somewhat overworked; can slay bi-polar databases with a pinky finger while sipping his morning coffee and fielding fourteen different software engineers questions (without lopping off their heads!) A master of home-cooked curry, devoted dad and all-around great guy combining Byron's brooding romanticism with a dash of Eddie Izzard point of view. Hasn't mastered Time Travel from phonebooths yet, nor does he wear women's clothing. (As far as we know.) Highly recommended."

Simon:
la-la-la-I can't hear you...

Jo:
More than two sentences. Damn. We'll have to take out the software engineers.

Simon:
Call them programmers and you can "take them out" with my blessing...

Jo:
This would be a fab profile. Post each of our statements in quotes, signed with our first names. :)))

Gretchen:
Jo...you appear to be far too aware of what the single's sites want....Just sayin' Ummm, can't you just rephrase yours and PM it to the poor fella'?

Jo:
I understand women. lol

Simon:
Hell, I understand women... that might be my problem... ;)
Not as big a one as them understanding me, mind you...

Jo:
You no like my recommendation? lol

Simon:
I'm thinking of a screen-cap of this...

Jo:
Ah! Even better! lol

Simon:
[muses] Photoshopped, of course, with spontaneous yet witty remarks from our hero inserted after he's had time to think them up. Who is he, by the way? Oh, me...

Jo:
^ That works!

Gretchen:
Simon, post your pic on the site and tell them that you have it on good authority that you are a beautiful, intelligent man, with so much to offer that the list would sound boastful. Tell them that you have a heart much larger than your mind, which makes doctors question what they were taught possible. And that you are interested in being interesting...My apologies to Jo, for 3 sentences but you now have my input!

Lindsey:
I spend that much time reading Simon's posts that I don't get to read the dating sites I belong to. You are much more interesting and can actually spell x - if that is you hiding on the hammock Simon, you have beautifully delicate hands

Tina:
It is him and he does have the most beautiful hands trying to get him to believe it is the problem.

Catherine:
Well you DID manage to use 'turgid' and 'thrusting' in the same paragraph so all is not hopeless.

[And so on. The complete original is in my blog]

Well, there it is, If you want a better idea what I'm like have a look at my blog, there's more there than I can write here.

http://cremgrumble.blogspot.co.uk/

Or find me on facebook - feel free to have a look, most of my postings there are public.

https://www.facebook.com/Design.Design
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Idling, really, waiting for some romance... I've done most of the things I wanted to do and now I'd like to have someone to care about and share time with.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Amusing people. I know that's probably hard to believe reading this turgid prose, but I'm quite funny when given the chance - my humour tends to be interactive, reacting to what's going on and what people are saying.

I'm good at problem solving, inventing bizarre machines, writing curious acrostic poetry and painting strangely deformed alien rabbits... Well, deformed at any rate, I claim they're alien so I don't have to paint their legs.

I used to write computer games but that was nearly thirty years ago and I think the statute of limitations has expired and I might be forgiven.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall, I suppose. Someone once said that the thing that struck her about me was that I was always kinder than I needed to be.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Far too many to list, but I suppose that's a cop-out, so here are the first ones that spring to mind.

Books... Well, I read a lot of fiction, sci-fi and non-fiction... Book I love include "The Cyberiad" by Stanislaw Lem, which a certain Douglas Adams ripped off hook, line and sinker. Most of Terry Pratchett's work, The Brentford Triangle books of Robert Rankin.

I prefer hard sci-fi to fantasy, as a rule, but my tastes are hard to pin down.

Movies... My favourite is "Arsenic And Old Lace", but I tend to like comedy, Sci-Fi, thrillers, and even the odd rom-com.

Music... vary varied tastes, from rock to pop. Actually, that wasn't far, was it... Not too keen on Jazz, hate Rap, hard to pin down apart from that.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Oxygen... um... water? Food? Toilet paper? Light? My Kindle (how else could I work enough books in?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
thinking. But I'm thinking of giving that up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Visiting someone.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Can I just refer people to my blog? It would save time... http://cremgrumble.blogspot.com/
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you know next week's lottery numbers and for some inexplicable reason want to share them. Or maybe want to meet someone who can make you laugh even before he takes his clothes off.

And don't think I'll fall for any old numbers. Or last week's lottery numbers, even if mathematical speaking they're exactly as likely as any other set of numbers... actually, what is this lottery obsession? I don't even play it.