In my day, if I wanted a web page, I had to type in the html tags myself. In six feet of snow, uphill both ways. And we liked it! Now get off my lawn!

Since my job is practical and benefits society, I will never be ridiculously overpaid. Come the Revolution, you'll want me in your tribe instead of some useless lobbyist.

I have brothers. I think their goofy stupid guy stuff is hilarious and that there's a Simpsons quote for every situation.

I come with baggage, two pieces, in fact. One is a carry-on sized Samsonite suitcase with a broken zipper and the other is duffel bag my Grandma won in Atlantic City. With this baggage I have traveled to the other side of the world. (I made it back.)

In my house we obey the laws of thermodynamics.

There are reasons why things happen. I don't believe things happen for a reason.

I prevent cholera epidemics.

Randomly quoting things.

Do tell.

Authors: Patrick O'Brien, Dorothy Sayers, Georgette Heyer, Neil Gaiman, Susanna Clarke, J. K. Rowling, David McCullough, Edward Gorey, Steven Johnson (The Ghost Map)

Movies: Wonder Boys, The Muppet Movie, 1776, Say Anything

Music: Stephen Sondheim; Janis Joplin; Gilbert & Sullivan; CCR; ninth symphonies in general; Three Dog Night; East Side Johnny and the Devil's Hopyard Ramblers; Roger Miller; Dawnless Day; Damone.

TV Shows: The Muppet Show, Slings and Arrows, Buffy, Firefly

ipod nano, my spectacles, the interweb, Christmas, Halloween, something else

I watch American Idol.

I guess this is the elimination round. Probably you won't like me (and so should not waste your time) if

- Your picture shows you next to your expensive car. I may actually recognize that it's some kind of expensive car. I will then draw conclusions about you, but probably not the conclusions you want me to draw.

- You describe yourself as "spiritual." (Spiritual, whatever. Just research the available doctrines and pick one, five, or none. But know what you're accepting/rejecting.)

- You don't believe in evolution. I know: it's just a theory. Like gravitation.

- You prefer "nice" girls. Why are you still reading? Do I sound nice?

- Your message is "Hi I liked ur profile LOL!" Move along.

Are you still here? Maybe you should message me.