had plans to shoot the shit with a friend, but the shit showed up with an uzi

I have a confession to make, my sister's cat(known to her fans as Zoe) and my son have conspired,rather successfully, to turn me into a Curb Your Enthusiasm fan, now what I want to know is there anyone  out there who knows of a local support group for this problem? not to cure it, mind you, I'm looking for enablers only please ;-)

so true story, yesterday I couldn't find my keys, I looked every where,turned the house upside down,no keys so in a fit of pique I turned to my sister's cat(who it seems I'm always house sitting) and said "OK Zoe, get my keys, go a head girl fetch" of course being a cat she looked at me with her penetrating green eyes, yawned and went back to her napping, yup true story, oh I finally found my keys an hour later...she was sleeping on them.

two drunks were in a bar at the top of the space needle, when one of the drunks turned to the other and said"you know what buddy? we're so high up that the wind does some really strange things,if you were to jump out that window over there, before you hit the ground the wind would pick you up ,carry around the needle and put you right back in your seat" the second drunk of course told him he was crazy, so the first guy jumped out the window and before he hit the ground,was whipped around the tower and landed right back in his seat,well that got the second drunk all excited so he jumped out the window and plummeted straight down to splat on the sidewalk, after a few seconds of silence the bartender turns to the first drunk and said "damn Superman you get mean when you drink"

so last tuesday I ended up in a burn unit in Staten Island,just got out today, great place,excellent care, and nice food, yup a pretty restful week, just wish it had not taken a third degree burn on my foot, ah well

I always feel sorry for poor Will,someone is always shooting at him.

HAppy new year everyone!!!!!

personally i like the woo option,to me it's like being in a crowded room making eye contact with someone and getting a friendly smile, a smile that say "hey it's ok for you to approach me, you won't get maced....yet" :-)

two men walk into a bar,the third one ducks

well we've reached the final sign on my list Scorpio, for the last two, Gemini and Pisces I listed three guidelines, for Scorpio I've found nothing less than five will do ok to begin,when it comes to keeping Scorpio focused on you,you have to know..they are already focused,have read your mind and know your social security number! so guideline number one keep it real any sign of falsehood and they'll start asking questions sometimes pointed uncomfitable questions, second guideline, they all have secrets, mabey not that they have the batcave in the basement type secrets but there is always something they keep to themselves,don't panic most of the time it's i hate peanut butter or i love to dunk donuts in my tea kind of secret, when they know you well enough it will all come out,third be patient it might look at times that they are on the verge of just losing interest,but if they get that vacant look in their eyes it' not because you're boring them it's just they're wondering if they've just heard someone breaking into their batcave or not,fourth be prepared for PASSION no not passion,I'm talking PASSION,they don't become interested half way it's all or nothing full feeling or complete indifference(of course YOU might not know the difference until it's way to late) and fifth don't show any fear! they can smell,see,taste it and nothing makes them lose interest quicker than them knowing that they scare you, yes they are intense, yes they are mysterious but they are also very vulnerable and want affection and attention as much or even more so than the next sign,so hang in there and reap the rewards. they are more than worth it,ok now that I've spilled the beans on them they will be coming to get me......I'm not kidding