Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

"From Constantinople have they brought me now,

Only for pleasure of these damned slaves."

Marlowe, The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus (1616 Quarto), Act 3, Scene III

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I am nasty, selfish, angry and spiteful. I am cold, heartless and cruel. I am an extremely solitary person and don't enjoy meaningless conversation or long walks on the beach. I prefer that people speak their minds rather than parroting platitudes. I'm a miserable misanthrope who wants nothing more than to be left alone.

In other words, caveat emptor.

I am kind, but lack compassion. I am playful, with no ability to be serious. All of my anger, posturing and pretentiousness are, to a greater or lesser extent, forms of play. I am a good friend and a rotten lover. I am also taken, permanently.

I'd love to talk, but only if you've got something I want to hear.

I like horrible parasites, stripping the flesh off of dead animals and crocodiles.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

I am currently a student at the University of Colorado, where I'm studying Ecology and Evolutionary Biology. Theoretically, I'm doing research on crocodylian origins and evolution, but that seems to have been suspended until further notice due to stress and unnecessary political machinations.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

I'm an excellent editor, but a rotten writer. I have a good sense of how to make a story work and a complete inability to write more than four pages of fiction. I am tolerably good at useless pontification and I make a mean cup of tea.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

Probably the fact that my hair is a fluffy, ugly mess. I don't have the time or inclination to comb it down.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

My favorite books include The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), Invitation to a Beheading (Nabokov), Dead Souls (Gogol), Demons (Dostoevsky), Jonahan Strange & Mr. Norrell (Clarke), Bridge on the Drina (Andric), Histories (Herodotus), American Gods (Gaiman), Haroun and the Sea of Stories (Rushdie) and On the Banks of the Yaryn (Kondratiev). I am deeply enamoured with Celtic and Norse mythology as well as with the fairy tales of Russia and Eastern Europe. Much of my reading addresses the theme of mythology's role and function; I am also deeply interested in the history of Catholic theology, parasites, shitty sword and sorcery fantasy and pterosaurs.

There are few movies that I enjoy, however, Tank Girl is my all-purpose stress relief film and I'm unhealthily enamoured of Jan Svankmajer's Faust. I will watch bad horror films for catharsis and generally enjoy cheap B-movies of all genres.

I'm a vegan, therefore my favorite food choices are limited, but vegetarian sushi and tempura are always safe bets, as well as pizza, thai food and chinese curries.

My musical taste is eclectic. I listen to Leningrad, Gogol Bordello, Great Big Sea, Gaelic Storm, The Tolkien Ensemble, Tori Amos and an unhealthy amount of classical music. I like Haydn and Bach's Chacconne. Mozart is overrated.

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

My bookcases, my computer, weasels, red silk ribbon, autumn, stars and a leather-bound journal

You should message me if Propose an edit

...you are bothered by writing the incomplete sentence mandated by this question.

I'd love to hear from you if you're into literature, science or art. If you're around the Boulder area and want to grab a cup of coffee, I'd love to meet you, provided I find you moderately interesting. After the coldness and sarcasm are dissolved away in foamy soy chai, you may find that I can actually be a quite pleasant person.

If you're further afield, I welcome things like penpalling, livejournal stalking and letter exchanges, if you're that sort of person.

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