I love how everyone in their online dating profile tries to
not-so-subtly mention how much of a catch they are and how high of
standards they have in choosing a mate. "When I'm not
volunteering at the Orphanage, you can find me jogging around Green
Lake or buying organic produce at Whole Foods. My ideal mate is
someone who is physically pleasing; financially and emotionally
stable and has above average intelligence and personality."
Yeah right. Good luck with that search and the rest of your journey
OK, I'm an average guy who has little to no drama in my life and my
breath is so-so. I like my job, I have great friends and I live a
pretty good life, except...I don't know what the deal is- whether
it's this freaky weather or my lack of premium cable channels, but
lately I've been feeling like EVERY day is the same. I get up, I go
to work, I come home and screw around for a few hours and then I go
to bed. Rinse, lather, repeat.
I can't help but think that it would be pretty cool to meet someone
special (I mean special/unique not special/crazy) to help shake up
my life a bit. We are all beautiful and unique snowflakes...some of
us are just a little flakier than others.
What I’m doing with my life
That's the million dollar question, now isn't it? I work in the
field of Information Technology...which means I sit in a cubicle
all day and eat candy. Outside of work- not much is happening,
hence why I'm here shamelessly advertising myself like an old
unmatched washer/ dryer set on Craigslist.
I’m really good at
Wrestling with tiny matters. Also putting things into proper
perspective and making others feel good about themselves. Oh yeah-
and I can make a mean batch of chili
The first things people usually notice about me
I have braces on my teeth so, yeah..
It's not all bad though; sometimes drunk women get extra flirty
with me because I remind them of their junior high crush.
UPDATE: The braces are off, but now I have a stupid upper and lower
retainer that cause my speech to be unintelligible and full of
spittle. Yep- I'm quite the catch!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I like short stories because I have the attention span of a
gnat. I think David Sedaris
is absolutely hilarious.
Movies: I enjoy movies that depict officers of the law as bad guys
and vigilante truck drivers as heroes.
Food: Is ginger ale a food? Damn, I hope so.
The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
where do I go from here? Also, how I should have my own television
show where I demonstrate my super-awesomeness to others and win
prizes doing so.
On a typical Friday night I am
peering over a trench-coated shoulder at the train station, left to
read her goodbye letter in the rain...or maybe out with friends-
having drinks and talking about all the dumb-assed things I did at
work that week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I arrive at the airport freakishly early because I'm scared that if
I miss my flight I'll be lost forever.
You should message me if
you could be that person that would listen to me tell you how my day went and would reaffirm that it's my coworkers that are nuts and not me. Also, if you don't mind awkward hugs.
...or maybe you'd like someone to buy you a moderately priced dinner.