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34 Oakland, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 5, 2014
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Atheism and it’s important
High school
Might want kids
Has cats
English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I think I am best described as "like an old man, with a really nasty sense of humour" - By a drunk British guy, that is why the extra "U" is in Humour. I work at a pub, and love every couple of days of it.

I really like to learn about random things, and am always up to go on a factory tour of something, even better if there are free things to be had from said factory. Except the envelope factory I went to, I did not care to take home any envelopes that day (True story).

I am Sardonic, Funny, and Skinny
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
If I knew that I would be so ahead of the curve. Mainly just having fun and trying my best to not get in to trouble. Wait, that sounds horrible. In reality I work a lot to replace my lack of a social life, and then when I want a social life I can't because I work so much.

I have odd little project things, like learn more about some subject, but I am not on some kind of career path, nor do I have some weird forced 5 year plan or something. Ultimately I live my life by maximizing my happiness, and doing it on a shoe string budget with little to no planning.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being an asshole, and getting into weird situations. Some people also say that I am funny. I dunno.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't know what people notice about me, as I am not those people. Probably though, it is my creepy mustache. I have the penchant to make quips, and I like to call people out on their pseudo scientific bullshit. Other than that I think I have green eyes, maybe blue, I have white hair that I have had since I was 2, some people notice that, and I usually have on some old looking clothes that I actually got at Target. I really love Target.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Eh, I tend to read a lot of random shit, mostly articles or research stuff I can find online. Throw a little Historical nonsense with a whole lot of reading random things and I know a little about everything, and not a lot about any one thing. I also like to read things that I can scoff at, mainly because I am happy with my "scoffing" noise.

I generally watch a lot of espionage/thriller type movies. Then I grumble about they didn't get something accurate. I also like to watch a fair amount of shitty "action" movies, I think it is because I have a Y chromosome kicking around somewhere in me.

I've recently been accidentally watching movies with the same actors in them, with out knowing it in advance. I watched 3 films with Walter Matthau in them, and then I watched 3 films with the Dad from Fraiser in them.

I used to watch a lot of foreign films, but now it takes too much motivation to actually read the film. Normally when I watch a film I have to keep my self busy with something else, pay bills, clean my house, make a list of people who wronged me, something productive, and I can't do that kind of stuff while trying to read subtitles as well.

My favourite film is Stalag 17, mainly because I love anything with William Holden.

Music: I don't like modern country music, and I can't find my self listening to a lot of mainstream rap. Other than that I listen to a whole lot of stuff. I really like Big Band music, there are a couple indy rock bands that I will listen to, some weird foreign rock/electronica bands (like The Knife). My playlists are usually all over the place, I have a Dolly Parton song, followed by a song by CSS, followed by a song by a blue grass AC/DC cover band, followed by the Arcade fire, makes sense to me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Probably a computer of some sort, internet, good shoes, a warm jacket, a jaunty cap, and a as to yet be determined item that will be chosen by me at a later date.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How dumb people are, especially those I seem to get stuck behind in traffic, or have to deal with at work.

That and trying to figure out a way to game the CA Lottery so I can win. That would be pretty sweet!

Some times I think about how great it would be if I had a giant ranch house and acres and acres of land where I would have a million cats roaming around. Crazy cat ladies can have them all in an apartment, but crazy cat dudes have to go that extra step I think.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At work. If not at work, I am at home trying to avoid the yahoos out there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once stole a lampshade from target by removing it from a lamp and then wearing it on my head while I walked out of the store.

If I admit it here though, it is no longer private is it? PARADOX LOOP.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I dunno, that's your problem.

Also, if you believe in the empowerment of women you should message me, instead of the other way around, that would totally throw off the male hegemony; solidarity sister!