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34 Oakland, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 5, 2014
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from high school
Rather not say
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I think I am best described as "like an old man, with a really nasty sense of humour" - By a drunk British guy, that is why the extra "U" is in Humour. I work at a pub, and love every couple of days of it.

I really like to learn about random things, and am always up to go on a factory tour of something, even better if there are free things to be had from said factory. Except the envelope factory I went to, I did not care to take home any envelopes that day (True story).

I am Sardonic, Funny, and Skinny
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
If I knew that I would be so ahead of the curve. Mainly just having fun and trying my best to not get in to trouble. Wait, that sounds horrible. In reality I work a lot to replace my lack of a social life, and then when I want a social life I can't because I work so much.

I have odd little project things, like learn more about some subject, but I am not on some kind of career path, nor do I have some weird forced 5 year plan or something. Ultimately I live my life by maximizing my happiness, and doing it on a shoe string budget with little to no planning.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being an asshole, and getting into weird situations. Some people also say that I am funny. I dunno.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't know what people notice about me, as I am not those people. Probably though, it is my creepy mustache. I have the penchant to make quips, and I like to call people out on their pseudo scientific bullshit. Other than that I think I have green eyes, maybe blue, I have white hair that I have had since I was 2, some people notice that, and I usually have on some old looking clothes that I actually got at Target. I really love Target.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Eh, I tend to read a lot of random shit, mostly articles or research stuff I can find online. Throw a little Historical nonsense with a whole lot of reading random things and I know a little about everything, and not a lot about any one thing. I also like to read things that I can scoff at, mainly because I am happy with my "scoffing" noise.

I generally watch a lot of espionage/thriller type movies. Then I grumble about they didn't get something accurate. I also like to watch a fair amount of shitty "action" movies, I think it is because I have a Y chromosome kicking around somewhere in me.

I've recently been accidentally watching movies with the same actors in them, with out knowing it in advance. I watched 3 films with Walter Matthau in them, and then I watched 3 films with the Dad from Fraiser in them.

I used to watch a lot of foreign films, but now it takes too much motivation to actually read the film. Normally when I watch a film I have to keep my self busy with something else, pay bills, clean my house, make a list of people who wronged me, something productive, and I can't do that kind of stuff while trying to read subtitles as well.

My favourite film is Stalag 17, mainly because I love anything with William Holden.

Music: I don't like modern country music, and I can't find my self listening to a lot of mainstream rap. Other than that I listen to a whole lot of stuff. I really like Big Band music, there are a couple indy rock bands that I will listen to, some weird foreign rock/electronica bands (like The Knife). My playlists are usually all over the place, I have a Dolly Parton song, followed by a song by CSS, followed by a song by a blue grass AC/DC cover band, followed by the Arcade fire, makes sense to me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Probably a computer of some sort, internet, good shoes, a warm jacket, a jaunty cap, and a as to yet be determined item that will be chosen by me at a later date.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How dumb people are, especially those I seem to get stuck behind in traffic, or have to deal with at work.

That and trying to figure out a way to game the CA Lottery so I can win. That would be pretty sweet!

Some times I think about how great it would be if I had a giant ranch house and acres and acres of land where I would have a million cats roaming around. Crazy cat ladies can have them all in an apartment, but crazy cat dudes have to go that extra step I think.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At work. If not at work, I am at home trying to avoid the yahoos out there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once stole a lampshade from target by removing it from a lamp and then wearing it on my head while I walked out of the store.

If I admit it here though, it is no longer private is it? PARADOX LOOP.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I dunno, that's your problem.

Also, if you believe in the empowerment of women you should message me, instead of the other way around, that would totally throw off the male hegemony; solidarity sister!