And that's not very helpful is it?
So, then, I like blueberries and mandarins. I'm a Stanford grad, of Spaniard heritage, and a bit of an dreamer about what the world could be when I'm not busy being pragmatic about what it is. I like debating politics, discussions on ethics, and observations on human nature. I like watching a couple at a bar and trying to figure out their entire relationship story through their interactions from afar. I'm usually the last to fall in love, the last to fall out of love, and fiercely loyal to my friends.
I see OKC/"online dating" as a way to meet people who I might not otherwise cross paths with. As crazybusy as things are with existing commitments to chosen family and friends, I try to make a habit of reserving 5% of my free time (about 1-2 evenings a month) for meeting entirely new people and being open to whatever surprises may unfold.
I'm in an open marriage, and have been for a long time that sometimes I forget how oddly different the world looks to someone who's monogamous. This is not some new thing we're trying out, and it's taken us to some amazing places in life together. I lead with friendship, and presume little else until I have a chance to get to know a person.
If you're married and your husband or wife doesn't know that you're looking, bugger off. I'm not interested.
Ocassionally I like to conduct what I call "social experiments" -- mixing up the conventional ways that we meet and interact. For example, what happens when two strangers agree to meet without saying a word, kiss, and only then follow with a casual conversation to get to know each other? Does reversing the expected order of events change the dynamic between us and within us? I've done a lot of such experiments over the years, not all with the expected outcome, but each one invariably fascinating.
I love what I do for a living, and find it immensely gratifying. It's hard work, but I get to do incredibly innovative things and make a real difference in people's lives.
A few things I enjoy and continuously work and play at getting better at:
- Learning the difference between community and dependency.
- Trying to find the balance between tending to old friendships and finding time for new adventures.
- Making something new just to see how it inspires.
Creating stuff. Stringing together arduinos with LEDs to create art, bolts with lumber to create a trebuchet, stone with gravel to create a retaining wall, and leather with cloth to create costumes.
My work, apparently.
Doing spontaneous things to discover what's on the other side. Doing them again a second time to see how I really feel about it.
That I make eye contact easily.
That my hair is a mess if it gets even a tad bit long. Wavy is as wavy wants to be.
My music tastes are all over the place. I like songs & lyrics more than bands. "We didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel. "I'm the only one" by Melissa Etheridge. "Any man of mine" by Shania Twain. "Baby's got back" by Sir Mixalot. And if I like you and there's a song that means something personal to you, chances are I'll take a liking to it myself.
Movies that speak to my soul include Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; and Lost in Translation. Movies that speak to my spirit include The Lion King; and Fight Club. And movies I could never get tired of watching over and over, for their sheer artistic brilliance, include Lord of the Rings; and The Princess Bride.
I'm a big fan of burner culture, not only for the wonderful friends who partake, but also to celebrate mujo and impermanence, which is a concept very dear to my heart.
Traveling. I've been to over 40 countries (maybe 50), many ten or more times. Still on my wish list: Choquequirao, Petras, and Nan Madol. I once found myself in 5 continents in 45 days (never again). I always have some Euros in my wallet. Ocassionally some Yen or Pounds too.
The meaning of community. How lucky I am to have found it many times over, why I choose to leave it, and when and where I'll help create it again.
I'm as proud of my strengths as I am unapologetic of my vulnerabilities. I'm an open book, and not a very private person. But it does take a while to really know me.
Oh, and that I like to drown my Corn Flakes in ridiculous amounts of honey. Like, ridiculous amounts.
...if coming up with our very own "social experiment" (see above) appeals to you.
...if you're not freaked out by the idea of someone in an open relationship, don't assume I'm only interested in casual sex, and believe that friendship comes first.
And finally, If you have an opinion on life. If you're up for real, genuine, no bullshit, candid conversation while hiking through old growth trees. Or exploring the dawn at Black Rock.