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52 Palo Alto, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 40–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 11
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Has kid(s)
Has dogs and Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), C++ (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Welcome! I know, if you came here in the past, it was all blank and scary in places, but I'm neither illiterate nor evasive. It's all just under construction - my post-divorce life and my profile. I used to only have answers in the question sections (with reasonably-frequent explanations) and there's still lots of stuff there, but I actually got around to filling out some essays. I'll keep this updated,...well, I'd say "often", but I'm kind of a stickler for radical honesty, and it took me forever to get this much down. We'll have to see....
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Taking advantage of having a background in high-tech to support and spend time with my house-full of (adult and near-adult) kids. The era of caring for this crew directly is passing away all too quickly and I'm enjoying it while it's still here. At this stage, parenting is more like coaching and the family atmosphere is more like a frat-house full of cool young people who treat you like a peer and keep you young. I'm not looking for a new co-parent, but you're welcome to hang with my offspring. If I like you, you'll like them and vice-versa...pretty sure about that.

Spending a bit of time on this site, making sure I have a special someone to spend the post-kid era of my life with.

Spending waaaay too much time playing simulation games, like Civilization. Help me. Watching appallingly-bad films on Netflix on rainy days with the family and producing spontaneous MST3K dialog for them (if you don't know what that is, hang with us, and you will be inducted into this mystery). Whiling away Saturday mornings with kids and friends at Peet's, where we trade afternoon plans and world-domination schemes.

I have a digital routing table, a 3D printer and some mad schemes for fabricating interesting things. I have an amateur-but-serious interest in Egyptology (I can read and write Middle Egyptian in hieroglyphics a bit). I plan to combine these two interests into...nah, I'll tell you over coffee. :-) Ever been to our local Rosicrucian Egyptian museum (I mean, since you were nine)? It makes a surprisingly-fun first date. Or the De Young? Or the Adademy of Sciences? Or the Cantor museum, or our MOMA in the City? I'm fond of a good museum.

Riding my motorcycle along Page Mill road in the fading light of a Fall evening to catch the scent of live-oak and clay. Wanna come? If you're not a rider, you can hop on back (I'm a very careful driver, especially when carrying precious cargo). If you want to learn, I've got a spare bike, and lots of patience for teaching. Bonus if you've got your own wheels and a favorite burger at Alice's Restaurant.

Hiking and generally improving the constitution of my body. I'm not so much into cross-fit, marathons, sky-diving, free-climbing, cliff-jumping, deep-sea diving or any of the vast array of extreme activities that the fascinating women of the valley seem drawn to in SUCH large numbers (especially on this site). However, that being said, I know myself well enough to know that with not-too-much encouragement, I could be convinced to pick up one or more of these habits to enjoy with you. Let's face it, you know how persuasive you can be. I don't stand a chance. ;-) I'd kind of like to take up Kayaking down in Monterey, where I've heard you can be joined by a group of interested otters. How cool with that be?

Enjoying animals...the house has quite a few. We're between dogs right now, but we have a pair of evil cat overlords, some (pet) rats, African turtles, snakes, lizards and memories of many animal friend past. We've adopted a local llama - the owner doesn't know it but we have. We visit her at the stable where she lives and bring her offerings of oats and berries. Yeah, it's a little strange, but find me a family that doesn't have its own idiosyncratic pass-times.

A large collection of random things I haven't listed here, but would emerge as we chatted in person or on-line. A bit of travel, some unfinished ideas for apps, breathing air, Shakespeare-enjoying, contemplating, beach-walking, laser cat-teasing, people-watching, aimless-driving, chai-drinking, etc. I dabble in cooking, sketching and the guitar. My father grew up in London and I've inherited an Englishman's appreciation for the variety of little things in life (and silliness). I'm a fairly "awake" person and I don't get bored easily. I'm very easy on the people around me. I thank waiters, smile at children and cute couples, chat with strangers and things of this sort. I generally do suffer fools lightly, because who among us doesn't play the fool from time-to-time - especially when courting. It's a good thing that women seem to like it when a man goes a little far out on a limb to win her heart, because I probably won't disappoint in this respect. If I'm really interested in you, I'm almost certain to make a bit of a fool of myself over you. We'll have to see.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...actively listening. Reflecting, clarifying, asking questions. All that stuff. Being interested in whatever you're talking about. I know a little bit about a wide array of subjects and I'm always interested to learn more, cross-corellate...the whole conversing...thing.

Giving foot and back rubs...although probably not simultaneously, because well, there are anatomical challenges there. I suppose if you're really limber....I don't know, we'll have to experiment.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get a lot of "You look just like Adam Savage from Mythbusters." I hope that's a good thing. I was horrified recently to find that I also look a lot like LouisCK, but I'm doing a some fitness work to cure that.

I also look JUST like Chris Hemsworth, in that he and I have EXACTLY the same number of limbs. We each have precisely the same chromosome count - 46. Amazing, no? In fact, if an insectoid creature from a distant solar system came to Earth, I doubt he/she/it could tell the two of us apart. Just interesting trivia. People often stop me on the street and say, "Wow! You have the same genus, species AND gender of that guy who played Thor." I don't mean to brag, but I'm just sayin'.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This should really be an over-coffee discussion, but I'll lay down the basics. I'm a Bay Area geek. We share a certain canon of classics in film and literature ("Hitchhiker's Guide", LOTR, etc. know the list). I also think my love of antiquity makes me a sucker for the "real" classics (Shakespeare, Dumas, Cervantes, "1001 nights",...that kind of thing). I love reference works - they make you feel smarter by simply owning them. I have a fair amount of non-fiction in linguistics, human behavior, art, technology, crafts and biography. Beyond that, I have an eclectic and bizarre list of personal favorites that are best covered when we can have some back and forth, where you share your unique finds and I share mine.

Food? Well, you'd think with all my talk of coffee that I'd like, you know, coffee, but I don't. Not even in cakes or ice cream. My dad brought us up as tea drinkers and I gravitate to Chai's for latte drinks. Another paradox about me is that I'm unafraid of culinary adventure of most kinds, but I could also happily eat the same breakfast weeks in a row.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm not sure. I've obviously never been without them, or I wouldn't be here to write about it. Maybe something will come to me later.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
All that stuff from the "What I'm doing with my life" section.

Here's a thought: imagine that online dating works out for you or me or we otherwise each find someone (maybe each other), and move off of this site, never to return. That means that this has been our one chance to write a little brochure about ourselves. Oh, sure, there are resumes for jobs, but that's different. These are little mini-manifestos about ourselves as personal beings, searching for connectedness. Yeah, there are Facebook profiles and artsy websites we may put up, but there's something kind of uniquely honest and vulnerable about declaring, "I really want you, whoever you are, and I want you to want me too." Unless you have some cause to write your memoirs (I doubt I will), this is our only chance to declare ourselves in words this way to a broad audience, each of whom is interested in the topic of....person-ness. Kind of makes it a worthwhile exercise in and of itself, no?

I spend a bit of time deconstructing where things went wrong in my marriage. I hope to have some lessons learned for my next relationship(s). On the other hand, I don't dwell on it too much.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
....mixing tinctures of Tana leaves to induce eternal life. No wait, that's not me. That's Boris Karloff. I'm virtually always hanging with my kids or one of a few close friends. Obviously, I'm here to cultivate some new options, but to be honest, I also hope to add you to the phenomenon of hanging with us. We have bad TV and good conversation or good TV and no conversation. Either way, it's a win, since you also get to sit on a comfy pillow on the floor and get back rubs. It's a great audience in which to blurt out, "Oh, I just had the best idea for a novel...", or "Wouldn't it be funny if...." or whatever.

I'd also like to re-cultivate some good alone time with someone though. Not just for sex and cuddling, but just simple, connecting time, where we feel like real, adult human men and women. You know what I mean. Everything from beach-walking, to soft-ball tossing, movie-going, road-trips, museum browsing and love-making (not in the museum, though...I'm just saying'...). The whole spectrum.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm going to use this space to raise a small objection to so many of the answers I've seen in this section. It doesn't say "Admit something private". It's asking you to step out as far as you can outside of your privacy comfort zone. If the most private thing you're willing to admit is your hat size, then so be it. Admit something harmless-but-not-often-spoken-of. Nobody cares where you've hidden all the bodies you've collected on your killing sprees (well...maybe the FBI on that particular point). It would however be interesting to hear about your first grade-school crush. Mine was Tavie-Anne Blackford in like second grade, I think, and Tavie, if you're out there, I'd just like to point out that there were forces conspiring against our love in Mrs. Elison's class, but if you're available, the timing is good now, so you know, drop me a line, OK?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're looking for (and are willing to be) the "whole package" - a serious friend, a goofy playmate, a co-sampler of the world around us, a helper who knows how to receive help. If you're a woman who knows how to fuss over a man and adores being adored. Or, if you've read between the lines of my profile with perfect intuition and simply know that you're what I'm looking for - I trust intuition of that kind. I added "short-term dating" to my "looking for" list, at the suggestion of a fascinating chat-mate here, because I realized she was right. Despite being the "marrying kind" (my one, recently-ended marriage lasted twenty-two, faithful years and did not end by my choice), I now don't mind the idea of being taken out for a spin before discussing purchasing options. A few break ups is a small price to pay for getting to know some beautiful people for a season. Anyway, you get the idea. Be brave. Take a chance. I'll do my best to make sure you're glad you did...

By the way, I've read enough profiles to know "the rules". Many women say explicitly that they expect the guys to initiate the messaging, and I suspect that for every statement to that effect, there are several women who feel that way but don't say it. So when I say, "take a chance", what I mean is "write me back" - even if it's just to say "no thanks". Silence is sad. I always make respectful introductions, with reference to the cool stuff from your profile that caught my interest. I'm not afraid of rejection. Hell, I've already been told by the woman I was planning to grow old with that she'd rather not, and I survived that. I don't think you can top that for rejection. I dare you to try. :-)

For those of you who do feel like messaging, I will do my best to get back to you.