I have been known to write a lot on any topic that comes to mind. Hopefully writing about myself here in depth won't make me seem too self-centred, but.. maybe I actually am self-centred? I don't know - it's hard to tell these things from the inside.

I'm am full of (apparent and real) contradictions. I'm comfortable at anything from opera to a fetish fair (RHPS makes a very nice compromise), although I generally prefer wandering around in the woods or taking long walks around the city. I'm an egghead -- I try to keep current on the sciences and world events, dabble in philosophy, and am a bit of a Unix geek. Although I'm (presently) paid (by Carnegie Mellon) for my l33t Unix programming/systems skills, I was once paid to do neuropsychology research, and have many varied interests that might lead to jobs in the future. I have green/outdoorsy tendencies - I like to walk as a recreation (occasionally at 4am), love rainstorms, and have pleasant dreams about walking someplace warm *during* thunderstorms. I'm politically well on the left - I think highly of Marx (both Karl and Groucho), avoid most mass media, have moved to a car-free (except for occasional rental) lifestyle, and have been known to get into long arguments with Libertarians. That said, I don't talk about politics all the time - when I do it's usually because somebody said something stupid (regardless of their political persuasion - I'll argue with other liberals as much as conservatives) or because somebody *wants* to talk politics. I am culturally diverse, and seem to soak up and incorporate knowledge/ideas/cultural practices (and languages) from all over the world. I've travelled a bit, and known people from places more distant yet.

I don't like living on a schedule, and an entire day reading in a coffeeshop, sketching under a tree, or writing stories sounds like a day well spent. I'm a night owl -- I stay up pretty late almost every night and occasionally wake up at odd hours and want to do something. I often sing to myself. I have an accordion and have been known to play other instruments when they're around. I have enough books to start a small library. I like to learn.

I should repeat and elaborate on the "essential facts" section -- I am entirely atheist without an ounce of belief. Not all my friends are, but everyone I've dated (so far) has been. I am fairly hard-nosed about the sciences - there's a lot of room for different philosophies and worldviews in the world, but those that don't mesh well with science don't mesh well with me. I also have a quirky sense of humour, and, like litmus paper, my colours differ a bit depending on where I am and who I'm with. I am fairly difficult to read - it takes a few months (at least) of knowing me to reliably read my body language.

I occasionally go to goth/industrial clubs to dance. I will not claim any skill in doing so, but I have energy, a sense of humour, shamelessness, and rhythm. Those have gotten me through so far. I am also attracted to darkness - people who are happy all the time make me wonder... It's often quipped that if you're not angry, you're not paying attention, although anger quickly fades to sadness, usually before anyone can see its mark on me. People who have known me for years (or dated me) still probably have never seen me angry.

I am a bit absent-minded most of the time, as I usually am paying more attention to some ideas I'm playing with than what my body's doing - it is very difficult to get my undivided attention, even in conversation. Sorry! When I am paying attention, I tend to find bad spelling/grammar (the kind that suggests the inability to write, not shorthands or intentional playfulness with language) intensely irritating. I am much harder on myself than other people on this front.

If we're going to get quantitative, I have seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show well over 40, possibly over 100, times in theatres. I have been to Paris twice, and London once. I have two legs and two cats (probably a coincidence).

On areas of life disconnected to philosophy, I try to cultivate in myself a selfless kindness and deep understanding of the broad variety in the way people see the world. I may not give up my philosophical beliefs, but I am usually generous with my property and time. I have my own perspective, and there are some things I would be willing to fight for quite strongly, but these lie mostly in areas of morals/ethics. I believe in enriching the mental lives of others who seem suitable through whatever means I can find.

I work for CMU doing geeky CS things. I used to work for CMU doing geeky Neuropsychology things.

Tranquility and peace are very important to me, and I don't like living by a schedule. Most of my interests lie in thinking about things and living a certain lifestyle - beyond my comfort levels and some safety for them, I have little interest in money, status, or power. If I ever start a family, some of the details of my life will have to change, but I doubt this perspective ever will.

Jobwise, I care that my efforts are some way is helpful to society, that I feel useful/needed, and that I'm learning interesting things. I like university jobs, although working for certain nonprofits may be other options someday. I'm starting to think seriously about a PhD (in Psychology). Settling in Europe or someplace else suitable is kind of appealing. A strong CS background with scientific literacy makes me pretty adaptable and employable, so I have no idea what kind of job I'll have in ten years.

I care about the environment. I sometimes make trips into the park with garbage bags and pick up litter until they're full (takes a sadly small amount of time usually). I recycle, and at various times I have supported Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, and Earth First.

While I am interested in having typical adventures (to other countries, vacations, hiking, etc), my deeper interests are generally adventures of the mind. I want to have a deep understanding of how the world works at all levels, from people to civilisations, from atoms to the cosmos. I am working, off and on, on writing philosophy, science fiction, and other things in various media for various ends. I slurp up knowledge like a sponge when it relates to politics, science, or other cultures. I also have front-seat tickets every night for cat wrestling.

I want to understand the world - how people work, the latest scientific discoveries as well as fields I don't know much about, continued developments of all kinds, etc. I want to live a creative life full of ideas, music, games, puzzles, wordplay, adventures, etc. The central question of my life is probably "What is the nature of humanity?" - most of my other interests somehow connect to that.

Speling, oddball humour, programming, listening, giving massages

I am multilayered. In a large crowd, I tend to tell a lot of weird wordplay jokes. In smaller, more personal settings, I tend to be pretty quiet. With very small groups of people I'm comfortable with, I open up much more.

People often ask me where my accent is from, because when I was growing up, my family moved between Dallas (where I was born), Connecticut, and Cleveland, and also possibly because I got a lot of early exposure to Monty Python and Dr Who. As I was born in Dallas, my birth certificate contains a clause allowing me to use "Y'all", even though my southern accent doesn't come out very strongly unless I talk with family or return to the south. I am usually wearing a large hat (a Stetson). I'm at least a little bit out of place everywhere - I'm the wine-drinker when others are drinking beer. I find natural social barriers between me and most other people, and whenever I find people with whom those don't spring up, I am very pleased. I'm choosy with my company.

I don't in fact usually have facial hair, and my hat and glasses come and go as per whim (sometimes leaving me cold and less able to see).

In reality, it's difficult for people to notice me because I'm pretty reclusive, reserved, and moderately shy. Unless I'm paying attention, I tend to give a bad first impression.

Authors: I read a lot and have broad tastes/interests. Fun: Haruki Murakami, Milan Kundera, Pratchett, Gaiman, Baxter, Ken MacLeod. Meaty: Rawls, Nietzsche, Sartre. Topics: Sharia, Halakah, neuropsychology, social psychology, computer science, history, transhumanism, philosophy, linguistics, anything else that catches my eye.

Music: For much of my life, I've played a musical instrument or two. I have tastes that span almost all genres. Interesting beats and instruments tend to pull me in. I particularly like Klezmer, Bhangra, Flamenco, Eastern European, and Rag. Some punk has interesting harmonies that tend to catch my ear. A few musicians that might make a first stab at being representative: Plaid Tongued Devils, Firewater, Dresden Dolls, Bad Religion, TMBG, Oingo Boingo, Scott Joplin, Jonathan Coulton, Muse, Cesium 137, Ratatat. Every so often, I like to see Opera (Wagner, Gilbert and Sullivan, etc), musicals, and live bands (I try to catch TMBG when they come to town or NYC, and have a list of other musical groups I'd love to see). I have a secret fondness for some country music.

Movies: I see films for a few different reasons, depending on mood, and I'm fairly choosy with my undivided attention - I'll watch almost anything if I'm at home with a laptop or a book, but I have very high standards for what I'll see in a theatre (and occasionally I walk out of uninteresting films). Films I've enjoyed: Waking Life, Clockwork Orange, Serial Experiments Lain, The Dinner Game, Boss of it All, Brazil, Army of Darkness, Kal Ha Naa Ho, Beetlejuice, The Dinner Game, Uzumaki, Fear and Loathing, Naked Lunch, Princess Bride, Sliding Doors, Memento. I really like Woody Allen films.

I usually want a film I can discuss with others afterwards, ideally artsy, strange, and full of ideas. When I'm not in the mood for that, I'll watch musicals, occasionally some anime, and the less gore-focused horror films (e.g. Ringu/Ring). Comedy-Horror, a la Leprechaun, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Evil Dead amuses me. I don't see new movies very often

Foods:I am for most intents and purposes a vegetarian. I eat plenty of Indian and middle eastern dishes. Very occasionally, particularly exciting foreign food might tempt me to eat meat (e.g. Ethiopian food) although that generally makes me feel ill for a few days afterwards. Particular favourites of mine are Knish, Saag Paneer, Paneer Tikka Makhni, Samosa, Mujadara, Fattosh, Sleek, and Hummus. I'm not a great cook (too impatient, especially when I'm cooking for myself), although when I do I tend to make reasonably tasty stews and fondue.

Drink::I drink a *lot* of tea, preferring White teas and Rooibos. I don't drink coffee at all. Lemonade and grape juice are my favourite fruit juices (I am slightly obsessive over grape juice, so I seldom drink it so as to avoid having thoughts of it pop into my mind for weeks after a single cup). I don't drunk soda/pop. I have a low alcohol tolerance - more than a little bit tends to get me very drunk and/or feeling very sick. I tend to go for mild sweet white wines, with occasional scotch or vodka and even more occasional embarassing Cosmopolitans. Recently I've been experimenting with fondue, which kinda-sorta counts as drink.

Let's make it more interesting. Six ideas that are a big part of my lifestyle:

1) Advertisements and TV are bad for people and should be avoided.

2) A good understanding of the self often involves accepting a number of unpleasant truths. Learn to deal with them without lying to oneself.

3) Fast food and pop are bad for you. Avoid them

4) Refusal to consider the welfare of humanity as a whole (substituting nation/race/class/etc) leads to various types of horrors, e.g. colonialism, genocide, and slavery

5) A focus on material things distracts people from important things like art, culture, nature, personal relationships, and reflection

6) A persistent attraction to wry humour, despite the state of the world, is needed to keep a sane outlook on life - internally I might laugh at others and myself, and when I'm really close to someone, I usually open this side of myself to them.

Philosophy, from the abstract to the concrete. I am worried that many of the ways society is moving are harmful and dangerous. I don't think we're doomed, but there are challenges. I blog at http://blog.dachte.org

Usually alone in my apartment relaxing. I'm also often at the Te Café or the Crazy Goat (local teahouses in the Squirrel Hill neighbourhood) on most evenings of the week/weekend. I sometimes make trips to more distant teahouses like the Beehive or Taza d'Oro. Occasionally I'm gaming (could be DnD, could be Munchkin, etc). Very occasionally I travel.

If you hear an accordion deep in the woods of Schenley Park, it's probably me and I'm sorry..

I also have issues, off and on, with depression and when it's at its worst my life tends to fall apart. A little bit of emotional support would probably help this a lot - I'm not looking to date a therapist, but someone who would be there to help inspire me to keep my head together in rough times would be good. I believe that a simple feeling of mutal love would probably go a long ways towards giving me the energy to fix myself and not be so withdrawn, as depression easily swallows hobbies, interests, and other good things in life.

While this was written about the feline hybrid known as the Liger, it applies reasonably well to me too:

They may inherit conflicting behavioural traits from the parent species. Ligers may exhibit conflicts between the social habits of the lion and the solitary habits of the tiger. Their lion heritage wants them to form social groups, but their tiger heritage urges them to be intolerant of company. Opponents of deliberate hybridization say this causes confusion and depression for the animals, especially after sexual maturity. How much of their behaviour is due to conflicting instincts and how much is due to abnormal hormones or the stress of captive conditions is not fully known.

You are interested in investing your time, mind, and creative energies in the construction of new mental worlds, if you will share those you have made with me and explore those I have made. You are willing to help me feel that life is worthwhile, not that I would need you to fix my life (depression has made a mess of it), but rather that I would like you to help me feel that recovering what has been lost is a journey, that you could love me for who I am even if there would be more in the works.

However, first, let's get these out of the way:

Thou shalt:
Not be a Christian, Muslim, Scientologist, or a neo-Pagan (some forms of Buddhism and non-observant Judaism might be ok, Atheist or Agnostic would be awesome)

Not be a Libertarian, Objectivist, or Republican. Apolitical would be fine. Democrat is ok, Socialist is awesome (provided you are not dogmatic about it).

Not be particularly into watching professional sports, be very patriotic, be into celebrity gossip, or be into "reality" TV. (Not watching much TV in the normal sense would be awesome)

Not be fat, consider deodorant to be your mortal enemy, have unshaven underarms, or be particularly unhygenic.

Not have terrible spelling, have deep suspicions of universities and education, believe in every conspiracy theory you can get your hands on, consider NASA to be a waste of money.

Not have a secret dream of moving to suburbia and becoming a housewife.

Not have 6 kids already that you will tell the world through your profile are the most precious thing in your life (or actually any kids). I don't want to enter a relationship with kids already present. I might want kids someday, but if my life partner did not, I'd be ok with it not happening.

Moving on, feel free to contact me if:

You don't mind that I likely won't respond unless I'm *very* interested - I'm really shy, very particular about what I want, and I don't get attracted to people often. Most likely if we meet once, that'll be the only time because I'm not attracted, and if you are, I'll feel guilty about it for a few weeks. I'm very yes-no on commitment - I'm very reluctant to even go on that first date with someone, but if I get the feeling that they're compatible with me in the right ways, I'd want to explore that as deeply as possible fairly quickly. Unfortunately, I also seem to be as choosy physically as I am emotionally and intellectually, so *PLEASE* HAVE A PICTURE, and try to communicate the kind of person you are as well as you can on your profile - I really hate letting people down, and reducing the chances of that being necessary before any contact is doing us both a favour. I will almost certainly NOT CONTACT YOU BACK IF YOU LACK A PICTURE or I otherwise don't feel it's likely we'd want to get to know each other better for one purpose or another.

I generally fit best with gals who are not traditionally particularly feminine - seeing a purse for me is a big turn-off (lipstick, high heels, pantyhose, and traditional makeup are an even bigger turn-off, although if you're goth or punk or an artist and/or dye your hair awesome colours, many exceptions can be made). Some combination/permutation of outdoorsy, geek, artsy, and into "cultural feminism" (in the right way) is part of what I'm looking for in a gal. I come from a wealthy family, but don't have interest in making lots of money or have ambition to run a business - you'd have to be ok with living a reasonably thrifty, healthy life (and have your own career, mainly because I don't think females should be dependent on/subservient to males in a relationship). Intellectual curiosity is a must, as is high intelligence - it's just as important as sexual and emotional compatibility, perhaps moreso. If you always are thinking about new interesting projects and ideas and want someone who's the same, that's a very good sign. Reading a lot is a good sign, as is good computer skills (knowing Linux/Unix is very sexy). Also, speaking other languages than English is a substantial plus. Kinkiness is a plus but is not necessary. Being a nightowl is a major plus - I tend to go to bed obscenely late, and wake up/get to work around brunchtime. Being my age or younger is probably a necessity.

If you care to read my blog ( http://blog.dachte.org ) you can get a feel for the shape of my mind and life.

I'm looking for an equal partner in life - an intellectual equal who's a good conversation partner, an activity partner, someone to share emotions (and emotional responsibility) with, and someone to plan my future with. I'm not old-fashioned when it comes to division of responsibility in a relationship or related customs - I expect equality except to the extent that biology dictates otherwise. I provide and expect fidelity, emotional and otherwise. I think that I want kids, but if you don't that's not a deal-breaker - I would be satisfied with a life partner and no children if it ends up that way (yes, this is a promise - I would not pressure you).

I don't do long-distance relationships, so if you're not in town, at most one of us could visit the other for a weekend. In theory, if I were enchanted enough with someone I might move to live near/with them - I've done it before and would do it again if the feeling's right - love is a very high priority in my life, and I am willing to make some sacrifices to achieve/maintain it.

Recent books one has read and what they mean, philosophy, politics, human nature, science, and art are among the things that interest me.

I believe in head-over-heels love that hopefully lasts a lifetime. I'm not afraid of it turning domestic, so long as it's devoted and withstands change. I would leave a relationship if I lost hope that it would ever be what I need it to be again, but would hope that as longtime partners we'd change with each other so the need for that wouldn't come up. I think love makes life complete more than anything else, and when it's working right, it's comes before almost anything else. Ideally this would happen without either party needing to sacrifice their dreams too much (life is full of various types of tradeoffs though - opportunity cost is unavoidable).

I am open to the possibility of short-term or casual relationships, but have little experiences with such things and would at least need a subset of the things above for them to have much substance. Any short-term/casual relationship would likely have to be exclusive for as long as it lasts. I am more driven by the desire for a partner than the desire for physical companionship.

My crazy fantasy about love:

After establishing a good relationship, we'd tour around the world, possibly live in Europe for a few years, maybe settling there, collecting ideas, writing books/games/songs/other creative stuffs on the side of doing whatever we do as our careers, and eventually pick a spot and mostly live there while sometimes regularly travelling to other places.