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dachte

36 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:51am
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Okay), Spanish (Okay), Japanese (Poorly), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a geek of many flavours, but not particularly extreme on any of them.

I'm much more politically liberal than I am culturally liberal (I don't usually get along with activists that have a sufficiently large body of theory, although I have a large body of theory too. Hmm. Maybe that's why). My politics are based on nurturing people on concrete things (jobs, marriage, education, infrastructure), but it actively discourages respect (I'm not into PC, make fun of groups/identities a lot, and believe in a battlefield of ideas). I'm a (very technocratic, anti-populist) socialist, and believe universities and academia (with the exception of sociology and business departments) produce the best in people and should be much more influential.

I like being outdoors, hiking, indoor rock climbing, but I also like anime, video games, and goofy board games. Also, classic film and opera. I play a number of instruments badly. I love attending lectures!

I'm also really into philosophy. I'm in a weird corner of the continental school - I'm a radical empiricist, and into philosophical pragmatism.

I'm very shy, or at least introverted and not likely to talk to people I don't know.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm trying to live an intellectual life. Lots of reading, writing, blogging, teaching, and museum-visiting. I try to learn new things (e.g. knitting) every so often. I'm still figuring life out. Hoping not to be alone for too much longer, but I don't often really get along with people to the extent of building solid friendships, and I haven't felt one of those wonderful crushes for a long time that makes a good foundation for a relationship.

I go to a lot of meetups on various topics. I have endless creative and technical projects, many of which are left unfinished. I sometimes grab things in the park for my microscope.

I'm a techie and I sometimes teach classes on programming, Unix, and SQL. Moderately into a lot of geek culture, but also mainstream culture.

I'm an SRE at a NYC-based tech company you won't've heard of if you're not a geek. In the past I worked at Carnegie-Mellon University where I (among other things) did FMRI-based neuropsychology/cognitive psychology research.
I’m really good at
Philosophy. Programming. Maybe teaching? Debate? Staying intellectually stimulated. Hopefully keeping my cats healthy/happy.

I'm not particularly competitive, I don't mind changing my mind when a good argument or new information presents itself, and I don't generally take things personally. I don't generally expect people around me to behave perfectly, and I'm pretty understanding when they don't.

I'm really bad at
Enthusiasm, particularly cheering. Avoiding occasional trips deep into depression. Meeting new people. Keeping my apartment clean. Avoiding TL;DR with people I converse with. Remembering events that are not on my calendar. Keeping in touch with popular culture.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm tall, my hair's pretty curly, and I am probably lost in thought, or possibly lost in a book. The latter two occasionally see me walking into things.

(Will brutal honesty help me here? Maybe not, but life's too short to not be upfront about these things)
The later things people might notice about me:
I've aimed my life at being interesting - I want to think interesting thoughts and lack the social pressures to conform on them. I want to understand as much as I can about science and philosophy and current events and politics, and express opinions about any of these without worrying about losing friends. Meaning I don't want to keep friends where I think they might be offended by any views I might gather. I also want the ability to laugh at/disapprove of/mock anything to the same degree that I might praise/approve of/laud other things. I don't spare feelings here when talking to the general public.

This, in combination with my being very shy, has made my life very lonely and consequently not very happy. I might look cheery most of the time; it's a facade, but I don't tend to dwell on the unhappiness because I'm not really trying to be happy nor do I expect it. Most people have at least a few sensitive matters, others don't seem to be trying to stretch their minds in the same way, and others have adopted some dogma or stupidity in their approaches to do so (the LessWrong crowd is a good example).

I'm not a very happy person, but I joke constantly and immerse myself in big ideas enough that I make it through my days without too much anguish most of the time. Gallows humour, snarky mockery of others and self, general goofiness and wordplay, they keep me afloat for now. And if I ever sink, I still think that despite the unhappiness this has been a life well-lived.

If you can make it through life without being unhappy while still striving endlessly to see the big picture, that's fine by me and no disqualifier to us getting along. I just am not generally a happy person and sometimes I struggle to get by.

In summary-but-not, a nerdcore rap group I like has the lyric: "I have a hunger for big prime numbers".
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I read a lot of philosophy and am fond of John Rawls. I'm particularly interested in philosophy of jurisprudence. In fiction, I like Haruki Murakami, Salman Rushdie, and Milan Kundera. I also read some academic journals, particularly those relating to foreign events and neuropsychology, but also more generally in the sciences. I'm not above the occasional trashy fantasy novel.

Movies: Hitchcock, Lars von Trier, Jan Svankmajer, Woody Allen, and Mel Brooks are my top 5; I like interesting, intelligent, complicated films, ideally with a wicked sense of humour. I'm not bothered by subtitles.

I sometimes watch Wuxia and Bollywood films too, occasionally some Anime (Serial Experiments Lain is fantastic) and some comedy-horror. I enjoy really bad movies, with the help of MST3k or raw. And yes, that includes Leslie Nielsen films. Sorry.

My two favourite films are "Le Dîner de Cons" and "Direktøren for det hele". Recently I enjoyed "Nebraska", "The Bothersome Man", "Die Wand", and "Postal".

Shows: When I make it home, I usually queue up a bunch of stuff on Youtube (Chromecast FTW!), including the most recent White House Press Conference, maybe an Intelligence Squared debate, and a smattering of other stuff like QI and Mock the Week. I have Netflix for older stuff; I liked pre-remake Doctor Who, MST3k, and Deep Space 9. I don't follow and am generally not familiar with anything that's on TV right now, or am at least a few seasons behind.

Shows (the other kind): I try to see G&S and Wagner whenever I can, and otherwise enjoy on- and off-broadway productions. I recently enjoyed seeing "No Man's Land".

Music: Dar Williams, Fiona Apple, Firewater, Balkan Beat Box, Plaid Tongued Devils, VNV Nation, Vienna Teng, Bad Religion, Panorama Jazz Band, Oingo Boingo, Molly Lewis, Die Prinzen, Splin, Tom Lehrer, Phil Ochs, Scott Joplin

A few favourite songs:
Fiona Apple - Paper Bag
Dar Williams - Iowa
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
Celtas Cortos - Retales de una Vida
EdnaSwap - Trivial
Emiliana Torrini - Dead Things

Food: I don't eat meat. At home I make Avocado rolls, stews, pancakes, and rice/bean burritos. I also eat a lot of fruit. When out I tend towards Indian and Mediterranean food but also like a good sandwich. Occasionally I'll take the long trip into NJ to get Wawa subs (and enjoy the adventure).

Drink: Tea. Lots of tea. Some of which I get shipped from other countries. Lapsang Souchong in the winter, White and Yellow tea in the summer. Sometimes Guayusa, Rooibos, or other tisanes. I don't drink alcohol often (triggers migraines) and when I do it's mostly white wine or cider; I dislike the taste/smell of beer.

Comedy: Dara o'Briain, Frankie Boyle, Lewis Black, Steven Wright, Sarah Silverman. I like my comedy dark, irreverent, and "offensive".
The six things I could never do without
Laptop, pen and paper, travel budget, bare necessities for life, time to think, access to something resembling nature.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Just about everything. Meaning in life, motivation, brains, societies, norms, fixing activism, fixing supper, how blind people might program, ....

I once had a list of my particular kinks on my profile here, but then I decided it's kinda weird to know that about someone before you even communicate with them, and I took them down. I sometimes second-guess that decision (hey, maybe there are people out there who are looking for people with those interests and it'd push my profile from a "maybe" to a "I should say hi to this person"), but then I second-guess a lot of decisions in life. Endlessly. I tend to overthink things, often at the expense of actually doing things unless those things urgently need to get done. As another example, I have mid-sized lists of people I've favourited on OkCupid and then spend a lot of effort convincing myself to get over my shyness and actually contact them. Very, very occasionally I succeed (and then usually never hear back), but more often than not I never manage to, and just visit their profile every so often in an attempt to figure out whether I still should contact them someday or if there's some reason not to. It's not that productive, really. Fortunately, eventually I get distracted by science or philosophy or other things again.
On a typical Friday night I am
Fridays arn't special for me, so here's my schedule when no events intervene.

I work M-F in a tech job. After work I sometimes swing by Whole Foods, then either go to a coffeeshop or home, where I might watch a movie, read, or take a walk. Sometimes I grab Indian Food for dinner. Occasionally I put on the spandex and go running in the evening if it's warm enough, or take a walk if I'm not feeling particularly inspired.

When events intervene it's usually either something at AMNH (I'm there ~2 nights a week and have a very nice membership level) or a Meetup group (Philosophy, current events, science, bad movies, tech, ...).

On weekends usually I try to get some reading, programming, philosophy, knitting, and maybe some museuming in. Occasionally I go on adventures to Philadelphia (day trip via trains), Boston (to visit my youngest sister and her husband), or somewhere else.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm using this to list the things that make or break deals for some people:
*I'm bisexual and heteroromantic
*I'm a TechSoc; a Technocratic Socialist
*I care about social-justice issues, but I approach them from a philosophical grounding. I don't like the way most activists (liberal, conservative, whatever the topic) approach issues, and I try to shut that stuff down. Call me privileged or something-phobic or whatever? I won't be bothered (I may laugh), I'll just talk more.
*On gender, I'm a second-wave feminist of the gender-role-abolitionist camp. I'm *not* a third-waver.
*I'm an Atheist. I don't believe in gods or souls or an afterlife. I'm not in a rush to stomp out religion, although in the long run I'd like to persuade people that it doesn't make sense. I've often had (mostly Judaist) religious friends
*I dislike LessWrong, libertarians, and technolibertarians
*I dislike nationalism/patriotism
*I find cars and professional sports intensely dull and don't watch TV with any regularity
*I have issues with frequent migraines. Occasionally I have to cancel things or leave events to go home if it gets bad. New medications are helping a bit
*I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show hundreds of times, even if I'm pretty square at first glance.
*I'm not a very private person; I'm a blogger. A shy one. Make what sense of that you will
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You live in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, or possibly Philadelphia or Boston. (No Staten or Jersey)

(Note that the below is about people I would date. I cast the net far wider for friends, and very few of my qualifiers for dating should be read as disapproval or hatred for the people excluded)

You're an atheist or agnostic, and you think a mix of science and philosophy provides the best shot we have at understanding the world. I tend to get along well with Secular Jewish folk, although that's not a strong preference.

You're an intellectual, physically healthy, and not aspie or "trans" or fat. You care about the welfare of society. You like museums and maybe occasionally leave the city (for other cities or the country).

You want a monogamous and ideally long-term relationship with an equal, where gender roles don't matter and the roles we play for each other are those we continually choose and maybe renegotiate. When you're unhappy, you communicate how you feel and try to find good solutions. You communicate to make good things better too.

You're not determined to be conventional, but don't have a drive to be weird for its own sake either. You value self-expression and try to let what you want to be shape how you are. You're committed to the kind of personal growth that doesn't involve eating lots of food.