Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


36 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay), Spanish (Okay), Japanese (Poorly), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I spend a lot of time thinking and making sure I have enough time and different inputs to make that the primary source of fulfillment in my life. An input might be a book or a cultural event, an online news source, a song or tune. It might be a good conversation. I make sure my life is never particularly busy or scheduled so if I have a thought I want to explore it's not too much hassle to jot it down somewhere and explore it later that day (or at worst, later that week). I arrange my life around these two goals.

I don't mind offending people, but it's rarely my goal. My politics are a very technocratic, academic, non-populist form of socialism married to a strong distaste for the ideas of respect and political correctness.

I'm pretty hard-nosed about science, and spirituality and religion are not at all my thing.

I'm introverted and shy but not particularly reserved.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm trying to live an intellectual life. Lots of reading, writing, blogging, teaching, and museum-visiting. I try to learn new things (e.g. knitting) every so often. I'm still figuring life out. Hoping not to be alone for too much longer, but I don't often really get along with people to the extent of building solid friendships, and I haven't felt one of those wonderful crushes for a long time that makes a good foundation for a relationship.

I go to a lot of meetups on various topics. I have endless creative and technical projects, many of which are left unfinished. I sometimes grab things in the park for my microscope.

I'm a techie and I sometimes teach classes on programming, Unix, and SQL. Moderately into a lot of geek culture, but also mainstream culture.

I'm an SRE at a NYC-based tech company you won't've heard of if you're not a geek. In the past I worked at Carnegie-Mellon University where I (among other things) did FMRI-based neuropsychology/cognitive psychology research.

I'm moderately involved in the secular movement, some scientific circles, and occasionally attend scifi/geek/gaming conventions.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Philosophy. Programming. Maybe teaching? Debate? Staying intellectually stimulated. Hopefully keeping my cats healthy/happy.

I'm not particularly competitive, I don't mind changing my mind when a good argument or new information presents itself, and I don't generally take things personally. I don't generally expect people around me to behave perfectly, and I'm pretty understanding when they don't.

I'm really bad at
Enthusiasm, particularly cheering. Avoiding occasional trips deep into depression. Meeting new people. Keeping my apartment clean. Avoiding TL;DR with people I converse with. Remembering events that are not on my calendar. Keeping in touch with popular culture.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall, my hair's pretty curly, and I am probably lost in thought, or possibly lost in a book. The latter two occasionally see me walking into things.

(Will brutal honesty help me here? Maybe not, but life's too short to not be upfront about these things)
The later things people might notice about me:

I'm not a very happy person, but I joke constantly and immerse myself in big ideas enough that I make it through my days without too much anguish most of the time. Gallows humour, snarky mockery of others and self, general goofiness and wordplay, they keep me afloat for now. And if I ever sink, I still think that despite the unhappiness this has been a life well-lived.

A nerdcore rap group I like penned the lyric: "I have a hunger for big prime numbers".
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I read a lot of philosophy and am fond of John Rawls. I'm particularly interested in philosophy of jurisprudence. In fiction, I like Haruki Murakami, Salman Rushdie, and Milan Kundera. I also read some academic journals, particularly those relating to foreign events and neuropsychology, but also more generally in the sciences. I'm not above the occasional trashy fantasy novel.

Movies: Hitchcock, Lars von Trier, Jan Svankmajer, Woody Allen, and Mel Brooks are my top 5; I like interesting, intelligent, complicated films, ideally with a wicked sense of humour. I'm not bothered by subtitles.

I sometimes watch Wuxia and Bollywood films too, occasionally some Anime (Serial Experiments Lain is fantastic) and some comedy-horror. I enjoy really bad movies, with the help of MST3k or raw. And yes, that includes Leslie Nielsen films. Sorry.

My two favourite films are "Le Dîner de Cons" and "Direktøren for det hele". Recently I enjoyed "Nebraska", "The Bothersome Man", "Die Wand", and "Postal".

Shows: When I make it home, I usually queue up a bunch of stuff on Youtube (Chromecast FTW!), including the most recent White House Press Conference, maybe an Intelligence Squared debate, and a smattering of other stuff like QI and Mock the Week. I have Netflix for older stuff; I liked pre-remake Doctor Who, MST3k, and Deep Space 9. I don't follow and am generally not familiar with anything that's on TV right now, or am at least a few seasons behind.

Shows (the other kind): I try to see G&S and Wagner whenever I can, and otherwise enjoy on- and off-broadway productions. I recently enjoyed seeing "No Man's Land".

Music: Dar Williams, Fiona Apple, Firewater, Balkan Beat Box, Plaid Tongued Devils, VNV Nation, Vienna Teng, Bad Religion, Panorama Jazz Band, Oingo Boingo, Molly Lewis, Die Prinzen, Splin, Tom Lehrer, Phil Ochs, Scott Joplin

A few favourite songs:
Fiona Apple - Paper Bag
Dar Williams - Iowa
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
Celtas Cortos - Retales de una Vida
EdnaSwap - Trivial
Emiliana Torrini - Dead Things

Food: I don't eat meat. At home I make Avocado rolls, stews, pancakes, and rice/bean burritos. I also eat a lot of fruit. When out I tend towards Indian and Mediterranean food but also like a good sandwich. Occasionally I'll take the long trip into NJ to get Wawa subs.

Drink: Tea. Lots of tea. Some of which I get shipped from other countries. Lapsang Souchong in the winter, White and Yellow tea in the summer. Sometimes Guayusa, Rooibos, or other tisanes. I don't drink alcohol often (triggers migraines) and when I do it's mostly white wine or cider; I dislike the taste/smell of beer.

Comedy: Dara o'Briain, Frankie Boyle, Lewis Black, Steven Wright, Sarah Silverman. I like my comedy dark, irreverent, and "offensive".
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Laptop, pen and paper, travel budget, bare necessities for life, time to think, access to something resembling nature.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Just about everything. Meaning in life, motivation, brains, societies, norms, fixing activism, fixing supper, how blind people might program, ....

I once had a list of my particular kinks on my profile here, but then I decided it's kinda weird to know that about someone before you even communicate with them, and I took them down. I sometimes second-guess that decision (hey, maybe there are people out there who are looking for people with those interests and it'd push my profile from a "maybe" to a "I should say hi to this person"), but then I second-guess a lot of decisions in life. Endlessly. I tend to overthink things, often at the expense of actually doing things unless those things urgently need to get done. As another example, I have mid-sized lists of people I've favourited on OkCupid and then spend a lot of effort convincing myself to get over my shyness and actually contact them. Very, very occasionally I succeed (and then usually never hear back), but more often than not I never manage to, and just visit their profile every so often in an attempt to figure out whether I still should contact them someday or if there's some reason not to. It's not that productive, really. Fortunately, eventually I get distracted by science or philosophy or other things again.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Fridays arn't special for me, so here's my schedule when no events intervene.

I work M-F in a tech job. After work I sometimes swing by Whole Foods, then either go to a coffeeshop or home, where I might watch a movie, read, or take a walk. Sometimes I grab Indian Food for dinner. Occasionally I put on the spandex and go running in the evening if it's warm enough, or take a walk if I'm not feeling particularly inspired.

When events intervene it's usually either something at AMNH (I'm there ~2 nights a week and have a very nice membership level) or a Meetup group (Philosophy, current events, science, bad movies, tech, ...).

On weekends usually I try to get some reading, programming, philosophy, knitting, and maybe some museuming in. Occasionally I go on adventures to Philadelphia (day trip via trains), Boston (to visit my youngest sister and her husband), or somewhere else.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm using this to list the things that make or break deals for some people:
*I'm bisexual and heteroromantic
*I'm a TechSoc; a Technocratic Socialist
*I care about social-justice issues, but I approach them from a philosophical grounding. I don't like the way most activists (liberal, conservative, whatever the topic) approach issues, and I try to shut that stuff down.
*On gender, I'm a second-wave feminist of the gender-role-abolitionist camp. I'm *not* a third-waver.
*I'm an Atheist. I don't believe in gods or souls or an afterlife. I'm not in a rush to stomp out religion, although in the long run I'd like to persuade people that it doesn't make sense. I've often had (mostly Judaist) religious friends
*I dislike LessWrong, libertarians, and technolibertarians
*I dislike nationalism/patriotism
*I find cars and professional sports intensely dull and don't follow TV
*I have issues with frequent migraines. Occasionally I have to cancel things or leave events to go home if it gets bad. New medications are helping a bit
*I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show hundreds of times
*I'm not a very private person; I'm a blogger. A shy one. Make what sense of that you will
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You live in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, or possibly Philadelphia or Boston. (No Staten or Jersey)

(Note that the below is about people I would date. I cast the net far wider for friends, and very few of my qualifiers for dating should be read as disapproval or hatred for the people excluded)

You're an atheist or agnostic, and you think a mix of science and philosophy provides the best shot we have at understanding the world. I tend to get along well with Secular Jewish folk, although that's not a strong preference.

You're an intellectual, physically healthy, and not aspie or "trans" or fat. You care about the welfare of society. You like museums and maybe occasionally leave the city (for other cities or the country). You enjoy reading.

You want a monogamous and ideally long-term relationship with an equal, where gender roles don't matter and the roles we play for each other are those we continually choose and maybe renegotiate. When you're unhappy, you communicate how you feel and try to find good solutions. You communicate to make good things better too.

You're not determined to be conventional, but don't have a drive to be weird for its own sake either. You value self-expression and try to let what you want to be shape how you are. You're committed to the kind of personal growth that doesn't involve eating lots of food.