Capitalists plz go.
American leftists who think you're dismantling capitalism because starbucks buys fair trade coffee, plz go.
Anyone still here, feel free to message me and get a higher-resolution condemnation of your ideology.
I don't keep A-list, so starring my profile just gives okcupid more fuel for gaslighting me into believing I am romantically appealing. Also, if your message gets priority placement in my inbox because YOU keep A-list, I won't talk to you, because these are the hallmarks of a class enemy.
1/3 Daria 1/3 Leftist Ron Swanson 1/3 Alice from Superjail. Joe Rogan is afraid to even respond to my pugilistic challenge. (He's a pro MMA fighter, so don't think less of me for asking him to fight. It's like inviting a comedian to participate in a debate, or a police officer to help perpetrate a home invasion & strong arm robbery.)
A true creature of this inverted Renaissance (I can fail at anything), I emigrated to this universe from another one where Pearl Jam played a slightly different set list at one of their concerts. It's taken some adjustment.
I'm looking for someone who hasn't seen Blade Runner but has read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
WAIT, don't go, read these two quotes:
"If anyone could prove to me that Christ is outside the truth, and if the truth really did exclude Christ, I should prefer to stay with Christ and not with truth." -Fyodor Dostoevsky
[on being asked how he would react if the theory of general relativity were disconfirmed by experiment] "Then I should have to be sorry for dear God. The theory is correct." - Albert Einstein
If you're smiling and laughing instead of frowning and thinking one or both of them are fools, skip all this shit and talk to me. Unless you're a boy, then shave your body and put on a skirt first.
Things you should know about me before continuing:
0) I'm a tranny. Pre-op. Run, coward. sinistar.jpg
1) I am crazy. 'Sane' is a slur. (Seriously, my Myers-Briggs type is not even remotely stable. The only stable feature appears to be thinking type, but I strongly suspect that is because it is only when I am in a thinking-type mood that I am in a testing mood.)
2) I am at war with Demiurgos, but just for kicks: I ain't even mad.
3) I am very kinky, but not exclusively so. There are some people with whom I would have/have had only vanilla-ish sex. (er. I guess as vanilla-ish as it gets if you're a tranny. e.e)
4) I am exclusively casual. I do not want to be more than friends with you. If we have hot sex, that is also cool. Excessive entanglement is... well, excessive.
5) I am politically complicated (how could you not be in a world of true contradictions), but basically I get along with everyone. EVERYONE. Even liberals. (No, I'm not conservative, I'm criticizing you from the left, you counterrevolutionary capital junkies. Also, conservatives, you're probably actually liberals. *frown*) I think most fundamentally I'm an anarchist, but you know, I think YOU (yes, every single person who will ever read this, even the NSA drones) are too, you're probably just somewhat less honest than I am. Otherwise, explain your speeding tickets.
6) I LIKE women. Trans women and cis women. Femmes are hot, butches are hot, dommes are hot, subs are hot, whatever, women = <3.
7) For the actual sake of "fuck", all these guys message me and not one of you with the sense to throw on some thigh highs for your profile picture? Scoot. Seriously, I allow my profile to be seen by straight people out of respect for the remote chance that a curious straight girl spots me (hi!), not for y'all scrubs to be ignoring my "go away" welcome mat.
7.1) Dear trans men: as you may have learned through introspection and received reports from friends and acquaintances, YOU ARE MEN.
8) I like gender non-conforming people. Too much to say so I'll say nothing.
9) I WILL HURT YOUR FEELINGS. I WILL HURT EVERYONE'S FEELINGS. SO WILL YOU. WE WILL ALL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH AND LEARN TO MANAGE OUR FEELINGS. Dance with Eris.
10) I argue constantly. About everything. I will contradict myself repeatedly and double down when called on it, cackling about dialethism. (If there are no true contradictions, how come every kitty is the best kitty?) It will amuse you when I do it to others and piss you off when I do it to you. The only way out is to distract me with something more interesting. An exercise for the reader.
I guess that's plenty.
"I am pretty sure that cunt is writing sex tips for Cosmo because she hates men." - a friend with a plausible thesis about me
Preparing for the extermination of the proletariat.
Also into some real next-level BDSM/kink type shit. Like flirting with you for years in the absolute most perverted of ways and then when you finally show up treating you to the most sweet & caring vanilla fuck anyone has ever received. Suffer, bitch.
Books: God Emperor of Dune, Against Method
Movies: SLC Punk!, Being John Malkovich
Shows: Star Trek Deep Space Nine (all star trek but Enterprise, really, but this one = tops), Trailer Park Boys (Star Trek we can fight about, but if you can't appreciate Trailer Park Boys you need a turkey cursing.)
Music: Leftover Crack, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Food: I eat cheese and processed sugar. I will die soon.
2) my material karma
That's it. Really I'm not overly attached to the latter. Least, I do little enough to preserve it.
Why are you such an authoritarian shit?
How can a police department have an anti-gang unit without annihilating itself in a burst of energy?
Why so many people who "love diversity" can be often found huddled in circles chanting, "rule #1: Never read the comments."
How to prove tautologies aren't necessarily necessarily true.
****** is more offensive than ****** because ******s are more easily offended than ******s.
Taxation is theft, and THAT IS WHY IT'S OKAY TO DO IT TO RICH PEOPLE.
Any mayor who doesn't smoke crack is basically abusing their office by failing to abuse their office.
Rick Moranis for Batman.
Facebook won't let me create a page named "Faggots Against Banning the Word "Faggot"". Faggots.
Good Morning America is like an unholy trinity of awfulness. First you have "Good", which is the deceiver who appears beautiful, then you have "morning", which I shouldn't have to explain, then you have "America", and, well...
The only sports should be shot put, starcraft 1, figure skating, and cheerleading.
... JFK shot first.
How crying over people saying "tranny" and "shemale" is much more about marginalizing sex workers than anything else.
How stupid Burning Man is. "Doooood u gotta try paying 400 bux plus expenses to experiment with one of the cheapest drugs on the planet!" No, I really don't, thanks for the invite.
Also, if you're an avid wine drinker in the vicinity of Napa County, and white, I'm happy to assume that you're virulently racist, and it is incumbent on you to proactively disclaim that. Only just barely sorry.
I was a vegetarian for over 10 years, and vegan for one. I was vegan mostly to prove I could do it, and I had earlier switched to vegetarianism (from omnivorism) because my diet was making me ill. (I also switched back from vegetarianism because I thought my diet was making me ill, but I was mistaken and it's not worth my while to reprogram myself to switch back. So I eat meat. But I don't complain when it's absent.)
History is finite but unbounded, and I was and am Diogenes of Sinope. I am recorded as male in the histories because historians are and have always been dicks. That dig at Alexander/Obama re: the bones of his father was in poor taste, I was drunk.
You're not a cis guy. Basically, if the obstetrician proclaimed you male and you agree, you're working with a severe handicap re: getting into my pants. Protip: Typically, guys who try to overcome this handicap merely wind up providing further justificatory bases for the heuristic.
If Billie Joe Armstrong wrote a song about you on Kerplunk and you haven't told anyone lately.
Trans men who claim the label rather than GQ/Two Spirit/etc are also right out. Basically, if there's any possibility you would consider a behavior's masculine social coding as an independent reason for doing it, skedaddle.
I looked at your profile, where you mention a boyfriend or husband, and you were and are kinda wishing I'd messaged you. You see, I just work with the assumption that all bi women with man partners who don't disclaim it are working with a one penis policy, and don't message. It's not 100% accurate but it's an amazing time-saving heuristic.
You're poor. (If you're not poor extra effort and most likely deception will be required on your part to convince me you are worth my time.)
You understand that smoking cigarettes is grosser even than smoking resin, and that until OkCupid allows us to specify I will answer "no" to "smoker" even though I smoke hella weed at most opportunities, so as not to be mistaken for a tobacco smoker. (It's okay if you smoke tobacco, though. It is gross, but like, whatever, so is pooping but I can't stop. =( )
If your commitment to social justice involves something other than policing language and screaming check your privilege. (Seriously, check your CIA shill privilege.) (Tumblr pseudo-SJWs are too emotionally fragile for me to fuck. We can be buds, but I will probably make you cry regularly. It's good for you.)
No moderators, censors, or other mind-rapists, please. Edit: OH fuck my life I forgot landlords and other rent-seekers. Out of my universe, please.