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30 M Caledonia, MI

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 22–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name is David and I am on this site just like you. See, we already have something in common! So what can I write that makes you find my brain sexy along with my...tortoise? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to win you over then your standards are way too high. But other talents are my silly and sarcastic sense of humor, the ability to cook beyond the microwave, and most importantly not taking shirtless selfies in a mirror. I have no issue with girls seeing my torso, I simply would not want them to believe I cannot afford shirts. I own many shirts that have gone into laundry machines around the world.

I graduated with a Masters in Social Work from GVSU this April, and it feels good to finally be able to sleep again. Currently I work for Spartan Stores while searching for a position that makes use of my new fancy piece of paper, but at least I am lucky to be working and not living in a fridge box. I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Blues on the Mall, and trying restaurants. Finally being Beer City I visit breweries or any other places with good food and booze.

What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made us believe in. Simple, right? Well if only it took a few hours and talking animals to find our special someone but being on here is hopefully a first step. I want a girl who believes in communicating, providing emotional support, and sharing lots of intimate moments (emphasis on lots. We all want sex, don't lie). I would like somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates mine. Don't girls always say they want a guy with a sense of humor anyways?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Slowly preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the position is filled. The job offers a good benefits package, like the entire planet for starters.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a dragon in West Michigan? Okay, there might still be the Komodo at John Ball but at least he is contained behind glass and can't shoot fire. I don't think anything like Smaug will need to be shot down by yours truly for torching Grand Rapids, so you are welcome.

And I think armed with my social work skills I am good at trying to see people's strengths vs. weaknesses. People usually like hearing good things about themselves instead of criticizing. Unless of course the other person is being rude, then they aren't exactly going to get the nice side of yours truly.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People seem to always be staring at my butt, probably because my wallet is there. It is quite large. I also am told I am very friendly and nice, but I am hoping since I do state my opinion and make my own decisions I am not seen as a "nice guy", if ya know what I mean. People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The Corrections and The Other Side of the River.

Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Lives of Others, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, Despicable Me, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess Bride

TV: Mainly Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and Lions games, but I also like Family Guy, American Dad, Robot Chicken, 30 Rock, The Soup and Modern Family.

Music: Classic rock and alternative metal. It is a sign I am getting older. Good ol' nostalgia!

Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. Despite how delicious cheeseburgers are, my metabolism does not burn them as quickly anymore so cannot eat too much fatty food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. I never realized how dependent I was until I did not have it for even one day. I find that fact rather depressing.
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not have any sustenance in my body.
5. My hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a guy.
6. My memory foam mattress.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How does a T-rex give a high five? Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime, does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all about? What if aliens exist and they are just laughing at all the stupid stuff people do on a daily basis instead of invading? On that note why are people so stupid to have my mind even concoct such a situation? And online or not why is dating so complicated these days? "Hey, I like you and you like me so let's be happy and get waffles." Simple, right? If only it were that easy, to not only date but enjoy breakfast food with a girl.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends at Diversions...just kidding. I think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful personality I would be taken already. Usually I go out to eat, see a movie, catch a Griffins game or go to a local watering hole if I am in the mood. Otherwise I stay in and make food. Many exciting ways to spend my time!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I love frozen yogurt, that stuff is like intercourse for the mouth. I don't trust anybody who claims to hate bacon that is not a vegetarian. I like cuddling, it relieves both depression and anxiety. I hate drama unless I am watching a movie of theatre production. Finally I am naked underneath my clothes. Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself sometime.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a humpback whale...the basic demands people look for in an online partner, right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples but I don't do silly deal breakers since nobody is perfect. We are all just two flawed individuals meeting up who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And I give really good hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that opportunity.

But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if you possess some form of ambition in life (can be work or school, either are hot), like exploring West Michigan, believe the only games to play in relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or you just liked what I wrote and believe we would get along. Isn't the whole point to like one another's profile and see if we hit it off in the "real world?" So unless a crocodile or shark bit off your hands you should have one left for typing me a nice message and we can go on a grand adventure.