Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. No whisker fish here. But besides
being a real person not looking to turn you into a media story what
else is there that makes me irresistible? Well, I can pat my head
and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to
win you over then your standards are way too high. And I saw a
great white shark in person. How is that for a unique experience to
talk about? But talent-wise are my silly sense of humor, the
ability cook beyond frozen or microwave food, and most important
not taking shirtless selfies in a mirror. my concern is a girl will
believe that means I don't own shirts. I promise if we actually do
an outing I will be shirted. And based on your personal choice a
dressy one or funny t-shirt. And I hope you pick,the funny one. If
you choose me it is due to my humor anyways, or my ridiculous good
I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU in 2014. Currently
work for Spartan Stores while searching for a position that
justifies all the stress and lack of sleep I endured and I
volunteer with a hospice agency to also hopefully help give me a
better resume of social worky skills. I am busy but believe you
make time for people if you want them in your life, which I
certainly can do. I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Blues on the
Mall, and trying restaurants. I also visit breweries like Founders
and Perrin. I started brewing my own stuff too so maybe if you are
lucky you can sample some. It is getting better with every batch so
get it before I sell it!
What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made
us believe in. Easy, right? Well if only it only took befriending
talking animals to meet our special someone but being on here is
hopefully a step in the right direction. I look for somebody that
understands the importance of communication, provides emotional
support, and wants to share lots of intimate moments (Emphasis on
lots. We all want that stuff, no sense in lying). I would like
somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates
mine. Don't girls always say they look for a guy with a sense of
humor anyways? Well I am fairly confident that test can be passed.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this
event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the
position is filled. Offers great benefits, like the entire planet
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a
dragon in West Michigan? I don't think anything like Smaug will
need to be shot down by yours truly for torching Grand Rapids, so
you are welcome.
I am also good at seeing strengths in people. I find people like
hearing things people admire vs flaws. Much better for instituting
confidence and self esteem. Heard from an anonymous source that
stuff is pretty important for emotional health.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My butt apparently, probably because my wallet is there most of the
time. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I can't blame
anybody for staring in hopes I whip it out. I also get told I am
funny. Not sure why? I don't see any evidence of possessing a sense
of humor...yes I am being sarcastic.
People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least
they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my
cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The
Corrections and The Other Side of the River.
Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Lives of Others,
Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, A history of violence,
How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The
TV: Mainly sports like Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and the
Lions (yes, I apparently like to torture myself like many
Michiganders), but I also like Adult Swim shows like Family Guy,
American Dad, Robot Chicken and Mike Tyson Mysteries.
Music: Classic rock and metal. Really like Metallica, Boston, van
halen, nirvana, tool and foo fighters.
Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and
Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. Despite how
delicious cheeseburgers are, my metabolism does not burn them as
quickly anymore and I don't plan on being a lard ball.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. Sad how dependent on technology life has become.
But how else would I have made this profile to meet an awesome
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not
have any sustenance in my body.
5. Hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a
hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a
6. My memory foam mattress.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in
packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime,
does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all
Why is it you are encouraged to try hard to get a job, but when it
comes to dating and wanting to include another person in your life
you are told to act like you don't care and not put in much effort?
I know I wouldn't want to be with somebody who could care less if
we were a couple. But maybe my thinking is backwards in today's
views of how relationships should be.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends at Diversions...just kidding. I
think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed
with my colorful personality I would be taken already. But of late
I have been working late hours to make my pockets full for Saturday
or Sunday nights to let loose. But not for the lgbt community in
west Michigan (not that they wouldn't appreciate my dance moves).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I ate bacon once. It was so epic I did so again...and again and
again. I shower naked. I am comfortable with my nudity, but mainly
don't like being in wet clothes; not a pleasant feeling. Legend
says when I was a baby I popped a bear's head off...legend also
says it was probably a teddy bear.
And I believe loving somebody is a choice, not something that just
happens without effort. My personal philosophy. Goes for friendship
or romantic relationships. We choose to accept the people into our
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a
narwhal...the basic demands people look for in an online partner,
right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples
but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect
partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals
meeting off a website who hopefully don't want to chuck one another
into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl
who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And
I give really good hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that
But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if read
my profile and laughed. It is huge, can't be with somebody who
doesn't appreciate humor. But also can communicate your needs since
I am a guy and can't read minds, believe the only games to play in
relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or you
just liked what I wrote and want to meet up? Isn't meeting people
you think would be fun to be around the whole point? So unless you
somehow ran into a crocodile and it took both your hands you should
be able to type me a nice message, and if the planets align we plan
our grand adventure!
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