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dalberta1

30 M Caledonia, MI

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Spanish

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My self-summary
My name is David and I am an online dater just like you. See, we already have something in common! So what sets me apart from the other guys with their cheesy or creepy messages? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to make you drool over me then your standards are way too high. But other things that make me awesome are my silly and sarcastic (sometimes dirty) sense of humor, the ability to cook beyond throwing something frozen in the oven, and most important not taking shirtless selfies in a mirror. I simply would not want any girls to believe I cannot afford shirts. I own many shirts that have gone into laundry machines around the world.

I graduated with a Masters in Social Work from GVSU this April. It feels good to be done (along with being able to sleep again) and I am ready to begin this new part of my life. For fun I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Blues on the Mall, and trying restaurants. I also like Grand Haven or just being outside since we never know in Michigan what the weather will be like on an hourly basis. Finally being Beer City I visit breweries or any other places with good food and booze. I know of many good deals around the area so that should be some incentive for scooping me up. But I tend to do whatever sounds fun on a given day, try to make it hard to pinpoint my location. I am not in the mood to get stalked anymore than you are.

What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made us believe in. Simple, right? Well if only it took a few hours and some talking animals to find our special someone but being on here is hopefully a first step. I look for somebody I can talk about random stuff with and we get along, similar to that friendship aspect. Let's face it, if there isn't a deep friendship element involved and we just like each other for our hot bods an actual relationship might not last long. Besides, they always say your partner should be your best friend. I would like somebody who has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates mine. Aren't girls always saying how a guy with humor makes their pants drop? Maybe I am hoping that is true but humor is a good trait to possess.
What I’m doing with my life
Slowly preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the position is filled. The job offers a good benefits package (like the entire world for starters).
I’m really good at
Preventing dragon attacks. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a dragon in West Michigan? Okay, there might still be the Komodo at John Ball but at least he is contained behind glass and can't shoot fire. Nonetheless due to my efforts I don't anticipate seeing anything like Smaug burning and pillaging The Mitten anytime soon.
The first things people usually notice about me
People seem to always be staring at my butt, probably because my wallet is there. It is quite big...and full of credit and membership cards that tend to fall out at inopportune times. I have been told it is the George Costanza of wallets when that event occurs, which honestly I do not believe is a compliment since George was considered the king of idiots on Seinfeld. People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The Corrections and The Other Side of the River.

Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Lives of Others, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess Bride

TV: Mainly Detroit Red Wings and Lions games, but I also like Family Guy, American Dad, Robot Chicken, 30 Rock and Modern Family.

Music: Classic rock and alternative metal. It is a sign I am getting older. Good ol' nostalgia!

Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and Chinese. But I am pretty open to any new taste bud experiences. Never know until you try.
The six things I could never do without
1. My computer. I never realized how dependent I was on the internet until I did not have it for even one day. I find that fact rather depressing.
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not have any sustenance in my body.
5. My hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a guy.
6. My memory foam mattress. Feels like sleeping on a cloud.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How does a T-rex give a high five? Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime, does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all about? And why do people who are already in relationships come on here looking for something on the side?
On a typical Friday night I am
I am working the poles on weekends at Diversions...just kidding. I think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful personality I would be taken already. Usually I go out to eat, see a movie, catch a Griffins game or go to a local watering hole if I am in the mood. Otherwise I stay in and grill some food.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I love frozen yogurt, that stuff is like intercourse for the mouth. I don't trust anybody who claims to hate bacon that is not a vegetarian. I like cuddling, it relieves both depression and anxiety. I saw a great white shark once, and it swam away from me so I must be scarier than a 15 foot toothy fish. I am allergic to idiots (which is why you might see me sneeze often at times). Finally I am naked underneath my clothes. It may be hard to fathom but it is true. Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a manatee...the basic demands people look for in an online partner, right? Well I don't think dumb deal breakers win a person over. Making demands of somebody before meeting them is not attractive in my book, and let's face it none of us are perfect. We are all two flawed individuals meeting up who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in gets a spanking (and not the sexy kind).

But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if you are actually serious about a relationship, desire exploring West Michigan with me as your personal tour guide, believe the only games to play in relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or you just liked what I wrote and believe we would knock the other's boots off. Shoot, isn't the whole point to like one another's profile and see if we hit it off in the so-called "real world?" So unless a crocodile or shark bit off your hands you should have one left for typing me a nice message and we can go on a grand adventure.