Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Caledonia, MI Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:54pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. No whisker fish here. But besides being a real person not out to make you famous on MTV what else is there to prove my studliness? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to win you over then your standards are way too high. But other talents are my silly sense of humor, the ability to cook beyond TV dinners, and most important not taking shirtless selfies in a mirror. I have no issue with girls seeing my midriff, but I would not want them to believe I cannot afford shirts. I own many shirts that the laundry machine could attest to cleaning.

I graduated with a Masters in Social Work from GVSU in 2014. Currently I work for Spartan Stores while finding a position that justifies all the stress and lack of sleep I endured, but at least I am glad to be employed and have so many options for a good career open to me. For fun I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Blues on the Mall, and trying restaurants. And being Beer City 2013 I visit breweries like Hopcat and Perrin. It is my form of self-care.

What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made us believe in. Easy, right? Well if only it took a few hours and talking animals to meet our special someone but being on here is hopefully a step in the right direction. I do think it is hard to find a partner on this site since i feel like an option in a shopping center aisle, but hopefully a girl and I both choose one another. I look for a woman that values communicating, providing emotional support, and sharing lots of intimate moments (emphasis on lots. Women want that stuff too, don't lie). I would like somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates mine. Don't girls always say they look for a guy with a sense of humor anyways? Well I am 99.27% sure I fit that bill.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Slowly preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the position is filled.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a dragon in West Michigan? From what I hear the Komodo at John Ball is gone too (though likely due to natural causes vs my doing. I liked that dragon so I am quite sad actually). I don't think anything like Smaug will need to be shot down by yours truly for torching Grand Rapids, so you are welcome.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Seems to be my butt, probably because my wallet is there and not due to firm glutes. People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The Corrections and The Other Side of the River.

Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Lives of Others, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, Despicable Me, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess Bride

TV: Mainly Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and Lions games, but I also like Adult swim cartoons.

Music: Classic rock. It is a sign I am getting older. Good ol' nostalgia!

Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. Despite how delicious cheeseburgers are, my metabolism does not burn them as quickly anymore and I don't plan on being a lard ball.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. I never realized how dependent I was until I did not have it for even one day. I find that fact rather depressing.
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not have any sustenance in my body.
5. My hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a guy.
6. My memory foam mattress.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime, does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all about? What if aliens exist and they are just laughing at all the stupid stuff people do on a daily basis instead of invading? And online or not why is dating so complicated these days? It seems like the less effort you put in, the more success you get. That approach would not work for landing a job so why not put forth effort in finding a partner?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends at Diversions...just kidding. I think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful personality I would be taken already. Usually I go out to eat, see a movie, catch a Griffins game or go to a local watering hole if I am in the mood. Otherwise I stay in and make myself a delicious meal, and maybe if you are lucky I will make enough helpings for two ;)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I love frozen yogurt. I don't trust anybody who claims to hate bacon that is not a vegetarian. I like cuddling, it relieves both depression and anxiety. I may be a respectful good guy, but still have a playful and dirty side that I like to joke with (which is entirely different from the hookup messages you get flooded with so you are welcome). Finally I shower naked. And it would be lovely to wash myself off with a partner. We can scrub those hard to reach sections on our backs. Told you I could be a naughty boy...or just like bring squeaky clean. Either way sounds like fun.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a humpback whale...the basic demands people look for in an online partner, right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals meeting off a website who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And I give really good hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that opportunity.

But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if you possess good values and are looking for a good man in your life, have ambition and work towards goals (that is really sexy), believe the only games to play in relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or you just liked what I wrote and believe we would get along. Isn't the whole point to like one another's profile and see if we hit it off in the "real world?" So unless a crocodile or shark bit off your hands you should have one left for typing me a nice message and we can go on a grand adventure.