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31 Caledonia, MI Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:57pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Spanish

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. No whisker fish here. But besides being a real person not looking to turn you into a media story what else is there that makes me irresistible? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to win you over then your standards are way too high. And I saw a great white shark in person. How is that for a unique experience to talk about? But talent-wise are my silly sense of humor, the ability cook beyond frozen or microwave food, and most important not taking shirtless selfies in a mirror. My concern is girls believing I don't own shirts. I promise if we actually do an outing I will be shirted. And based on your personal choice a dressy one or funny t-shirt. And I hope you pick the funny one.

I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU in 2014. Currently work for Spartan Stores while searching for a position that justifies all the stress and lack of sleep I endured and I volunteer with a hospice agency to add to my social work skills. I am busy but believe you make time for people if you want them in your life. I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Blues on the Mall, and trying restaurants. I also visit breweries like Founders and Perrin. I started fly fishing five years ago and never thought I would love the hobby, but it has become a big way if relieving my stress and making me happy.

What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made us believe in. Easy, right? Well if it only took a few hours and befriending talking animals to meet our special someone but being on here is hopefully a start. I look for somebody that understands the importance of communication, provides emotional support, and wants to share lots of intimate moments (Emphasis on lots. We all want that stuff, no sense in lying). I would like somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates mine. Don't girls always state humor as a trait they look for in a guy?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the position is filled. Offers great benefits, like the entire planet for starters.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a dragon in West Michigan? I don't think anything like Smaug will need to be shot down by yours truly for torching Grand Rapids, so you are welcome.

I am also good at seeing strengths in people. I find people like hearing things people admire vs flaws. Much better for instituting confidence and self esteem. Heard from an anonymous source that stuff is pretty important for emotional health.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My butt apparently, probably because my wallet is there most of the time. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I can't blame anybody for staring in hopes I whip it out.

People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The Corrections and The Other Side of the River.

Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Lives of Others, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, A history of violence, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess Bride

TV: Mainly sports like Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and the Lions (yes, I apparently like to torture myself like many Michiganders), but I also like Adult Swim shows like Family Guy, American Dad, Robot Chicken and Mike Tyson Mysteries.

Music: Classic rock and metal. Really like Metallica, Boston, van halen, nirvana, tool and foo fighters.

Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. Despite how delicious cheeseburgers are, my metabolism does not burn them as quickly anymore and I don't plan on being a lard ball.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. Sad how dependent on technology life has become. But how else would I have made this profile to meet an awesome girl?
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not have any sustenance in my body.
5. Hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a guy.
6. My memory foam mattress.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime, does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all about?

Why is it you are encouraged to try hard to get a job, but when it comes to dating and wanting to include another person in your life you are told to act like you don't care and not put in much effort? I know I wouldn't want to be with somebody who could care less if we were a couple. But maybe my thinking is backwards in today's views of how relationships should be.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends at Diversions...just kidding. I think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful personality I would be taken already. But of late I have been working late hours to make my pockets full for Saturday or Sunday nights to let loose.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I ate bacon once. It was so epic I did so again...and again and again. I shower naked. I am comfortable with my nudity, but mainly don't like being in wet clothes; not a pleasant feeling. Legend says when I was a baby I popped a bear's head off...legend also says it was probably a teddy bear.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a narwhal...the basic demands people look for in an online partner, right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals meeting off a website who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And I give really good hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that opportunity.

But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if read my profile and laughed. It is huge, can't be with somebody who doesn't appreciate humor. But also can communicate your needs since I am a guy and can't read minds, believe the only games to play in relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or you just thought anything in my profile made you think I was manly and fun to hang out with. Isn't meeting people you think would be fun to be around the whole point? So unless you somehow ran into a crocodile and it took both your hands you should be able to type me a nice message so we can start planning our grand adventure.