Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. No whisker fish here. But besides
being a real person not out to make your life famous for being
duped what else is there to prove I am a stud muffin? Well, I can
pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not
enough to win you over then your standards are way too high. But
other talents are my silly sense of humor, the ability to cook
beyond TV dinners, and most important not taking shirtless selfies
in a mirror. I have no issue with girls seeing my belly, but I
would not want them to believe I cannot afford shirts. I own many
shirts that laundry machines have cleaned.
I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU in 2014 after
studying Psychology for my Bachelors a few years back. Currently I
work for Spartan Stores while finding a position that justifies all
the stress and lack of sleep I endured, and I volunteer with a
hospice agency. So I am busy like anybody else but want to make
time for awesome women I come across, since that is kinda the point
of this website. For fun I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Blues
on the Mall, and trying restaurants. i also visit breweries like
Founders and Perrin. I started brewing my own stuff too, so if you
are a craft beer or cider fan like myself you might as well attempt
locking me down now so you get to taste my delicious homemade
What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made
us believe in. Easy, right? Well if only it took a few hours and
talking animals to meet our special someone but being on here is
hopefully a step in the right direction. I look for a woman that
values communicating, providing emotional support, shows respect,
and wants to share lots of intimate moments (Emphasis on lots. We
all want sex, no sense in putting up a front). I would like
somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates
mine. Don't girls always say they look for a guy with a sense of
humor anyways? Well I am 99.27% sure I fit that bill.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Slowly preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when
this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the
position is filled.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a
dragon in West Michigan? I don't think anything like Smaug will
need to be shot down by yours truly for torching Grand Rapids, so
you are welcome.
I am also good at seeing strengths in people. Call it the social
work mantra. I find people like hearing things people admire in
them vs constantly having their flaws pointed out. Genuine
compliments and kindness go a long way towards building confidence
and self esteem. And ladies love the confidence!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Seems to be my butt, probably because my wallet is there and not
due to firm glutes. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I
can't blame others for staring. People also comment on how I look
younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid;
I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The
Corrections and The Other Side of the River.
Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Lives of Others,
Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, Despicable Me, How to
Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess
TV: Mainly Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and Lions games,
but I also like Adult swim cartoons.
Music: Classic rock like van halen of Boston, otherwise Metallica,
korn, buckcherry...anything I listened to growing up. It is a sign
I am getting older. Good ol' nostalgia!
Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and
Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. Despite how
delicious cheeseburgers are, my metabolism does not burn them as
quickly anymore and I don't plan on being a lard ball.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. I never realized how dependent I was until I did
not have it for even one day. I find that fact rather
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not
have any sustenance in my body.
5. My hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in
a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still
6. My memory foam mattress.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in
packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime,
does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all
about? What if aliens exist and are just laughing at all the stupid
stuff people do on a daily basis instead of invading?
Why is it you are encouraged to try hard to get a job, but when it
comes to dating and wanting to include another person in your life
you are told to act like you don't care and not put in much effort?
Seems counterintuitive. Isn't partnership important for good health
along with employment?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends at Diversions...just kidding. I
think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed
with my colorful personality I would be taken already. Usually I go
out to eat, see a movie, catch a Griffins game or go to a local
watering hole if I am in the mood. Otherwise I stay in and make
myself a delicious meal.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am torn between owning a Doberman pincher or a boa constrictor as
a pet. I like cuddling, it relieves both depression and anxiety. I
shower naked since I am not self conscious of my nudity. Legend
says when I was a baby I popped a bear's head off...legend also
says it was probably a teddy bear.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a humpback
whale...the basic demands people look for in an online partner,
right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples
but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect
partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals
meeting off a website who hopefully don't want to chuck one another
into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl
who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And
I give really good hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that
But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if you
possess good values and are respectful, have ambition and work
towards goals in life, can communicate your needs (I may have a
psychology background but can't read minds), believe the only games
to play in relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship,
or you just liked what I wrote and believe we would get along.
Isn't that aspect essentially the point of online dating? Go out,
have some fun and hopefully it leads to great things in time. So
unless a crocodile or shark bit off your hands you should have one
left for sending me a nice message and we can go on an adventure.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.