Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. No chance of getting catfished by me.
But besides being the stud in my photos vs some phony baloney what
else is there that makes me irresistible? Well, I can pat my head
and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to
win you over then your standards are way too high. physical
abilities aside I also possess a silly sense of humor, the ability
cook beyond frozen or microwave food, and most important don't take
shirtless selfies in a mirror. My concern isn't looking like a
self-absorbed tool but girls believing I don't own shirts. I
promise washing machines around the world have cleaned my upper
I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU in 2014. Currently
work for Spartan Stores till I find a position that justifies all
the stress and lack of sleep I endured but I like my co-workers so
that keeps me sane. I love talking about social issues or
Psychology (since that was my Bachelors) so let's chat if that
Interests you. I also enjoy Artprize, sporting events, Lake
Michigan for swimming and fishing, and trying restaurants. I also
visit breweries like Founders and Perrin and enjoy the occasional
laid-back bar like Stella's.
What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made
us believe in. Easy, right? Well if it only took a few hours and
befriending talking animals to meet our special someone but being
on here is hopefully a start. I look for somebody that understands
the importance of communication, provides emotional support, likes
to hug (I will admit I am a little needy in that regard) and wants
to share lots of intimate moments. Emphasis on lots. I am a
gentlemen but that doesn't mean I like celibacy. A fella has needs
ya know! I would like somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at
least appreciates mine. I don't understand people who don't want
somebody who makes them smile and laugh? The internet says laughing
and being happy is good for the body. And let's be honest,
everything posted on the Internet is true.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this
event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the
position is filled. Offers great benefits, like the entire planet
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a
dragon in West Michigan? Exactly. I work behind the scenes so you
never do. I don't think anything like Smaug will be on the locals
news for torching Grand Rapids, so you are welcome.
I am also good at seeing strengths in people. I find people like
hearing things people admire vs flaws. Much better for instituting
confidence and self esteem. Heard from an anonymous source that
stuff is quite sexilicious these days.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My butt apparently, probably because my wallet is there most of the
time. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I can't blame
anybody. After at it holds all my membership cards that can get me
deals if we head out on adventures.
People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least
they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my
cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The
Corrections and The Other Side of the River.
Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Shawshank
Redemption, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, A History
of Violence, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before
Christmas and The Princess Bride
TV: Mainly sports like Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and the
Lions (yes, I apparently like to torture myself like many
Michiganders), but I also like Adult Swim shows like Family Guy,
American Dad, Robot Chicken and Mike Tyson Mysteries.
Music: Classic rock and metal. I like Metallica, Boston, van halen,
nirvana, tool and foo fighters to name a few.
Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and
Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. Despite how
delicious cheeseburgers are, my metabolism does not burn them as
quickly anymore and I don't plan on being a lard ball.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. Sad how dependent on technology life has become.
But how else would I have made this profile to meet an awesome
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not
have any sustenance in my body.
5. Hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a
hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a
6. A bed, or anything to sleep on. I am getting older, the body
doesn't have the internal stamina of a horse anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in
packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime,
does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all
about? Does eating too many Twinkies really make you stupid? Is
that why most people are idiots these days, because of
over-consumption of yellow sponged cream cakes? You might laugh,
but somebody needs to seriously ponder these world altering
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends...just kidding. I think if I had
the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful
personality I would be taken already...and incredibly rich. But of
late I have been working late hours to make my pockets full for
Saturday or Sunday nights to let loose.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I ate bacon once. It was so epic I did so again...and again and
again. I shower naked. I don't find the experience refreshing or
cleansing with clothes on. I at one time knew the colonel's secret
recipe during my days as a KFC employee. Legend says when I was a
baby I popped a bear's head off...legend also says it was probably
a teddy bear.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a
narwhal...the basic demands people look for in an online partner,
right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples
but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect
partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals
meeting off a website who hopefully don't want to chuck one another
into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl
who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And
I give really good hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that
But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if read
my profile and laughed. If you went through the effort of reading
this whole essay it should be clear humor is a large part of who I
am. You also believe the only games to play in relationships
include words like Monopoly or Battleship. Or anything else made
you think I was a stud muffin and yearning to see me in the flesh.
Isn't meeting off the interweb to see if we we hit it off the
entire point of this site?
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.