Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Caledonia, MI Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22-40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Average build
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
English, Spanish
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. If you want to be famous for getting cat-fished look elsewhere. But besides actually being the manly man in my photos what else is there that can make you swoon over me? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. If that skill is not enough to win you over then your standards are way too high. But if you need more persuasion I also possess the ability to cook beyond frozen or microwavable food, love animals, and most important the decency to not take shirtless selfies in a mirror. My concern isn't girls thinking I am self-absorbed but believing I don't own shirts. I promise you I have plenty of shirts to cover my upper body.

I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU and work as a substitute teacher till I find something in my field. But I get to work with some great faculty and students so I am pretty happy. Plus I have my social life back after grad school, which I really did miss. For fun I enjoy Artprize, sporting events, going for walks and biking trails, state parks, being on the water, and trying restaurants. I also like going to downtown Grand Rapids to places like Founders and Stella's. Local events are cool too. I did Comic Con for the first time this inner nerd was satiated.

What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made us believe in. Easy, right? Well if it only took a few hours and befriending talking animals to meet our special someone but being on here is hopefully a start. I want somebody that can openly communicate, provides emotional support, and wants to share lots of intimate moments down the road. Emphasis on that last one. Women want that stuff too, don't lie. Finally I would like somebody who has a sense of humor, or at least appreciates mine if she isn't naturally funny. I can handle the pressure.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the position is filled. Offers great benefits, like the entire planet for starters.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a dragon in West Michigan? Exactly. I work behind the scenes so you never are aware. I don't think anything like Smaug will be on the locals news for torching Grand Rapids so no need to thank me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My butt apparently, probably because my wallet is there most of the time. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I can't blame anybody. After all it holds all my membership cards that can get me deals if we head out on adventures.

People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The Corrections and The Other Side of the River.

Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, A History of Violence, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Princess Bride

TV: Mainly sports like Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and the Detroit Lions (yes, I apparently like to torture myself like many Michiganders), but I also like Family Guy, American Dad, Robot Chicken, Rick and Morty and Modern Family.

Music: Classic rock and metal. I like Metallica, Boston, Van Halen, Nirvana, Tool and Foo Fighters to name a few.

Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. That thing called metabolism is starting to slow down even at my age.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. Sad how dependent on technology life has become. But how else would I have made this profile to meet an awesome girl?
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not have any sustenance in my body.
5. Hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a guy.
6. A bed, or anything to sleep on. I am getting older, the body doesn't have the internal stamina of a horse anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime, does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all about? Does eating too many Twinkies really make you stupid? Is that why most people are idiots these days, because of over-consumption of yellow sponged cream cakes? You might laugh but somebody needs to seriously ponder these world altering thoughts.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends...just kidding. I think if I had the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful personality I would be taken already. I usually go out to eat or try anything new to recover from my long week. Or I sleep. Yes, I'm getting older and tearing up the club every weekend isn't as appealing anymore.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I shower naked. I don't find the experience refreshing or cleansing with clothes on. Legend says when I was a baby I popped a bear's head off...legend also says it was probably a teddy bear. I also do not like spiders. I am okay if they stay outside where they belong, but if I see one of those eight legged demons on the carpet I am tempted to burn down the house. Which means I can perform my manly duties by saving women from arachnids. How can anybody turn that down?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a narwhal...the basic demands people look for in an online partner, right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in is not getting a hug at the end of the night. And I give really good hugs in my arrogant opinion. Think of it like a python squeezing a rabbit but without getting eaten.

But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if you like my humor, want to find your best friend, believe the only games to play in relationships include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or anything else made you think I was awesome sauce and yearning to see me. Isn't meeting people the entire point? So if everything checks out let's give things a go and see what adventures this online dating thing has in store for us both.