Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm David and I am 100% real. If you want to be famous for getting
catfished you better look elsewhere. But besides actually being the
stud muffin in my photos what else is there that makes me
irresistible? Well, I can pat my head and rub my belly at the same
time. If that skill is not enough to win you over then your
standards are way too high. But if you need more persuasion I also
possess the ability to cook beyond frozen or microwavable food
(which means if I am your man chances are I cook for you), and most
important the decency to not take shirtless selfies in a mirror. My
concern isn't girls believing I am self-absorbed and categorizing
me like many other guys on this site but believing I don't own
shirts. I promise you I have plenty of shirts to cover my upper
I received a Masters in Social Work from GVSU and work as a
substitute teacher till I find something in my field. But it is
better than the retail job I had before and I get to work with some
mostly great faculty and students so I am pretty happy. For fun I
enjoy Artprize, sporting events, state parks and being on the
water, and trying restaurants. I also visit breweries like Founders
and Perrin and other liquor establishments. It is one of the
benefits of living in a former Beer City.
What I am looking for? Oh, just that happily ever after Disney made
us believe in. Easy, right? Well if it only took a few hours and
befriending talking animals to meet our special someone but being
on here is hopefully a start. I want somebody that understands the
importance of communication, provides emotional support,and wants
to share lots of intimate moments. Emphasis on lots. I am a
gentlemen but that doesn't mean I want celibacy. A fella has needs
ya know! I would like somebody who also has a sense of humor, or at
least appreciates mine. The internet says laughing and being happy
is good for your health. And we all know everything on the Internet
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Preparing to rule the world. I still need a queen for when this
event occurs. I am currently accepting applications until the
position is filled. Offers great benefits, like the entire planet
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Stopping dragons. Ask yourself when was the last time you saw a
dragon in West Michigan? Exactly. I work behind the scenes so you
never are aware. I don't think anything like Smaug will be on the
locals news for torching Grand Rapids so no need to thank me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My butt apparently, probably because my wallet is there most of the
time. I do have quite the sexy piece of leather so I can't blame
anybody. After all it holds all my membership cards that can get me
deals if we head out on adventures.
People also comment on how I look younger than my age. But at least
they don't say I look like a kid; I would have grandmas pinching my
cheeks left and right!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, The
Corrections and The Other Side of the River.
Movies: Jurassic Park, Crash, Pan's Labyrinth, The Shawshank
Redemption, Lord of the Rings trilogy, American Beauty, A History
of Violence, How to Train Your Dragon, The Nightmare Before
Christmas and The Princess Bride
TV: Mainly sports like Detroit Red Wings, Michigan football and the
Detroit Lions (yes, I apparently like to torture myself like many
Michiganders), but I also like Family Guy, American Dad, Robot
Chicken, Rick and Morty and Modern Family.
Music: Classic rock and metal. I like Metallica, Boston, Van Halen,
Nirvana, Tool and Foo Fighters to name a few.
Food: Anything that tastes good, particularly Italian, seafood and
Chinese. But more important anything good for my body. That thing
called metabolism is starting to slow down even at my age.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. The internet. Sad how dependent on technology life has become.
But how else would I have made this profile to meet an awesome
2. A sense of humor
3. My friends
4. Food and water. There is a slight chance I might die if I do not
have any sustenance in my body.
5. Hygiene items like soap, shampoo, etc. Guys kind of stink in a
hurry when they don't bathe, and last time I checked I was still a
6. A bed, or anything to sleep on. I am getting older, the body
doesn't have the internal stamina of a horse anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 but hot dog buns come in
packages of 8? If a tree falls down in the forest and hits a mime,
does anybody care? What if the hokey pokey is not what it is all
about? Does eating too many Twinkies really make you stupid? Is
that why most people are idiots these days, because of
over-consumption of yellow sponged cream cakes? You might laugh but
somebody needs to seriously ponder these world altering thoughts.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am working the poles on weekends...just kidding. I think if I had
the body and contortion of an exotic dancer mixed with my colorful
personality I would be taken already. I usually go out to eat or
try anything new to recover from my long week. Working to help
people can take a lot outta ya.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I shower naked. I don't find the experience refreshing or cleansing
with clothes on. Legend says when I was a baby I popped a bear's
head off...legend also says it was probably a teddy bear. I also do
not like spiders. I am okay if they stay outside where they belong,
but if I see one of those eight legged demons on the carpet I burn
the house down! So I can fulfill my manly duties by fending off
spiders for you...while committing arson at the same time.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a super model body, make millions, can ride a
narwhal...the basic demands people look for in an online partner,
right? Well maybe I am being a little facetious with my examples
but I don't do silly deal breakers in search of the perfect
partner, since none exists. We are all just two flawed individuals
who hopefully don't want to chuck one another into the Grand River
after an outing. That river is gross, any girl who shoved me in is
not getting a hug at the end of the night. And I give really good
hugs so I wouldn't suggest blowing that opportunity.
But in all seriousness (okay, some seriousness) hit me up if you
like my humor, believe the only games to play in relationships
include words like Monopoly or Battleship, or anything else made
you think I was awesome sauce and yearning to see me. Isn't meeting
people the entire point? So if you are serious about making it a
point to spend time with me let's give things a go and see what
adventures this online dating thing has in store for us both.
Who are you looking for?
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