i've watched countless movies on all kinds of different screens.

i've never been to the end of mulholland drive.

i like the idea of hiking, but i don't do it often.

i hate the idea of spin, but do it all the time.

i'm not a very good driver but i'm great with directions.

i have the fastest internet connection offered by at&t.

i've seen true romance a bunch of times.

i've lived in wdc, boston, nyc, atlanta and la.

i listen to music.

i make adult shows for a living.

trying to eat at each and every one of jonathan gold's recommended "99 essential restaurants in la."

working to give myself the flexibility to write a great novel that i might never write.

writing internet jingles about the internet.

eating bocadillos.

making 95% of the people i meet comfortable. except for the 5% that i make incredibly uncomfortable.

finding great hole in the wall restaurants/bars.

being a regular.

my sense of humor. and how handsome i am.

my lack of self-awareness.

i'm constantly ingesting literature, media and/or edibles. some examples include:

authors: william faulkner; cormac mccarthy; jennifer egan; nick tosches; denis johnson; phillip roth; hunter thompson; dave berman; gary larson; thomas pynchon;

tv: homeland; dexter; the wire; breaking bad; luther; larry sanders show; mad men; seinfeld; friday night lights; girls; cheers; cosby show; louie; curb your enthusiasm; childrens hospital; mr. show; twin peaks; downton abby;

movies: true romance; rushmore; mulholland drive; night of the hunter; the hangover; fight club; paranormal activities; inglorious bastards; network; the shining

music; lil wayne; pavement; meek mill; killer mike; young money; neutral milk hotel; kanye; black lips; t-pain; the xx; r kelly; vampire weekend; phosphorescent; the-dream; rick ross; the weeknd; fleetwood mac; a$ap rocky; the unicorns; waka;

food: i'm incapable of cooking, so i spend most of my time at restaurants, eating all types of different things. when cooked for however, i'm quite a good dishwasher. i hope that doesn't come across as me being a braggart.

-friends/family
-shots of ginger
-iphone
-hulk hogan wrestling buddy
-mini disc player
-jeans

why anyone other than a garbageman would pick a used mattress up off the side of a road; how come no one has ever tried mass producing fruity pebbles flavored milk; instagram

getting weird. or sleeping. maybe both?