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26 M Washington, DC

My Details

Last Online
Aug 21
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly vegan
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm your typical 20-something renaissance man.

I write, I make music, I do stand-up, I do science, I do lit, I cook, I clean, I tell stories (great stories, in fact); I'm a jack of all trades. I have so many interests and hobbies it's difficult for me to keep up with it all. I devour knowledge and information like beef wrapped in bacon-covered sausage dipped in barbecue sauce. Or I would if I weren't vegetarian.

But seriously, I'm never bored. There's too much to learn, too many things to do, places to go, people to meet, fires to start, buildings to vandalize, revolutions to incite, dictatorships to topple.

So, if you have a good sense of humor (I'll make a joke wherever I can find one -at all costs), like to discuss a variety of subjects, and try to get the most out of your shuffling through this mortal coil, you probably won't be entirely repulsed by my company.

A special note: I no longer have a moustache as my profile picture might indicate. I'm clean shaven. However, since I work all week and my friends don't relentlessly post group-photos on the internet (we're sort of grown ups), I don't have any clean-shaven pictures as of yet. Deal with it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
After graduating with a B.A. in English and having my soul sufficiently sucked out working in the Film/TV industry in Manhattan, then having completed a PBPM program in D.C., I am now working in sleep medicine and waiting to hear back from med schools.

These things seem like pretty disparate paths, but I can tell you, they are. Completely.

I'm also big into investing. Primarily in the megamillions jackpot.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Having moderately terrible vision
Running at walking speed
Talking my way out of problems
Talking my way into problems
Making inappropriate jokes
Solving a Rubick's Cube
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm left handed, which means I do everything backwards. And according to some cultures this means I'm evil, possessed by demons, or a mutant.

I always have scruff. Except at work, where I'm required to shave. But after work I have scruff. My face just knows.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Rather than exhibiting my favorites, I find a more telling exercise is the following:

Walk over to your bookshelf, stand up straight, and list a few titles at eye level. For the most part, we subconsciously put things we believe are important at eye level, so, here goes:

Old Goriot, Dune, The collected works of Stephen Crane, Seven Plays By Sam Shepard, The Count of Montecristo, East of Eden, The History of Sexuality.

I don't have a comparable exercise for for film, tv, or food. Just ask, I suppose.

As far as music goes, I have very eclectic tastes. I like a lot of classical, particularly Debussy, Beethoven (those late quartets are baller, e.g. op. 131), and Rachmaninoff (concerto no. 3, enough said). I like edm, lots of dubstep: skrill, kill the noise, mitis, kairo, susko, etc. etc. I like folk-ey stuff too: head and the heart, Mumford, etc. Put on Al Greene and I'll immediately start singing in falsetto. Okay, this list is getting tiring. I like a lot of a music. Just ask.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Tofu, Tempeh, Coffee, The Internet, Coffee, Reddit, Whiskey, Beer, Bread, Vegan Cheese. Just kidding on that last one, most vegan cheese is awful.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether I can move things with my mind today.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Flailing my arms, most likely. Sometimes this means I'm drinking. Sometimes I'm just in the mood to flail. It happens. Go with it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I secretly wish it were okay for me to wear Velcro sneakers with lights on the heel.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–27
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If, upon reading this you said,

"Oh, my. That wit, that charm, that spark."

If you proceeded to get that warm fuzzy feeling in your chest. Wherein your heart began to race, your hands shake, and your sight darkened like something blurry and difficult to see has assaulted your retina.

If, suddenly, it struck you,

"Alas, I will. I must, upon finishing with this great fit, message this man. For he is so full of wit and charm and spark."

If all that happened, don't message me. You're probably crazy.

Otherwise, you should feel free.