Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
For your own safety I recommend not messaging me if you're unable
(or unwilling) to spell basic words properly.
Hi. I'm Dan.
I'm not pierced, inked or addicted to anything unholy; this makes
me good 'take me home to meet your mother' material.
I'm irrefutably British in every way conceivable: I raise my little
finger when drinking tea, view sunshine as an urban myth, and the
majority of my humour consists of ridiculing people using
unnecessarily long words. I'm known to exclaim such cringe-worthy
phrases as 'golly, gee!' or 'oopsydaisies!', and sometimes invent
my own swear words (like 'nungefugget'). I have absolutely no
intention of ever growing up, and my life ambition is to become
famous solely so I can go to Madame Tussauds, stand really still,
then scare the crap out of someone.
I get on well with grandparents, mothers, cats and sisters — while
I fear fathers who pat you on the back, address you as 'Sport' and
assume that, being male, you must like football. Brothers and large
dogs have a similar effect on me.
I'm one of those 'gets up in the middle of the night, exclaims
"Eureka!", switches light on, rummages around for pen and paper,
scribbles something illegible, goes back to bed for ten minutes,
then does the same thing again' people. My right eyelid twitches
when I'm confused. I dislike closed doors and enjoy spying on
people from behind sunglasses: I notice smiles, scars and the
colour of eyes, but forget clothes, hair and the colour of skin. I
still get as excited when it snows as I did when I was five.
It's nice to meet you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've just massively cut my hours at work so I can devote time to
writing a novel and setting myself up as a freelance Grammar Nazi.
Progress somewhat impeded after discovering LoveFilm have the
complete works of Joss Whedon on demand...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
sleeping. I excel at this.
Also: spelling, spooning, making inappropriate comments, fixing
your computer, and arguing with religious people.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have this really bad habit called 'speaking my mind', so probably
my voice as people turn around and growl "Who the F**K said
However I'm also told I have a bright smile and long eyelashes. :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Douglas Adams, J.D. Salinger, e.e. Cummings, Larkin, David Sedaris,
Bret Easton Ellis, Kerouac, Saki, Bakunin, Dawkins, Harris,
I really want to read a horror book which actually scares me. If
anyone can recommend such a book I would be in your debt.
[Rec], The Orphanage, 500 Days of Summer, A Clockwork Orange,
Amelie, Before Sunrise/Before Sunset, Buffalo Soldiers, Dead Poets
Society, Fight Club, Human Traffic, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs,
Requiem for a Dream, The Rules of Attraction, American Psycho, Sin
City, Thank You for Smoking, Trainspotting
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Deep, stimulating conversation
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
really weird shit.
For instance: if you put metal in a microwave, it explodes. And if
you put a hamster in a microwave, it implodes. So what happens if
the hamster has braces?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
ideally curled up with a good book, safe from the horde of unwashed
masses descending upon Cardiff. Usually.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty honest and open, really: that's not to say I don't have
any skeletons in my closet, just that they're regularly wheeled out
*Thinks of stuff which might be classed as
I like curvy girls; I am fairly certain I have an actual addiction
to my computer; I'm quite hairy; people tell me I look like Jake
Gyllenhaal and Jude Law; I own a guitar but I can't play it.
Yep. That's about it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know what a book is.
You agree there is little in this world more sexy than a correctly
You know that the hardest part of the zombie apocalypse will be
pretending you're not excited.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.