Hi. I'm Dan.
I'm not pierced, inked or addicted to anything unholy; this makes me good 'take me home to meet your mother' material.
I'm irrefutably British in every way conceivable: I raise my little finger when drinking tea, view sunshine as an urban myth, and the majority of my humour consists of ridiculing people using unnecessarily long words. I'm known to exclaim such cringe-worthy phrases as 'golly, gee!' or 'oopsydaisies!', and sometimes invent my own swear words (like 'nungefugget'). I have absolutely no intention of ever growing up, and my life ambition is to become famous solely so I can go to Madame Tussauds, stand really still, then scare the crap out of someone.
I get on well with grandparents, mothers, cats and sisters — while I fear fathers who pat you on the back, address you as 'Sport' and assume that, being male, you must like football. Brothers and large dogs have a similar effect on me.
I'm one of those 'gets up in the middle of the night, exclaims "Eureka!", switches light on, rummages around for pen and paper, scribbles something illegible, goes back to bed for ten minutes, then does the same thing again' people. My right eyelid twitches when I'm confused. I dislike closed doors and enjoy spying on people from behind sunglasses: I notice smiles, scars and the colour of eyes, but forget clothes, hair and the colour of skin. I still get as excited when it snows as I did when I was five.
It's nice to meet you.