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34 Portland, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:31am
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
A little extra
Atheism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I have more passions than capacity and more interests than time. A hundred lifetimes wouldn't be enough for me to do all the things I want to do. I live with my wife of fifteen years, two friends I've known since Jr High, their baby, a teenager whose mother was not caring for him and an elderly man out of work. I put on a weekly dinner party where I cook for 20 people. I have a 7-foot tall papier-mâché dinosaur on my porch and another unfinished dinosaur in my garage. I'm in the middle of a (admittedly stalled) project to build a robot to draw on the giant whiteboard in my dining room (Do you know anything about robotics? Do you want to give me a hand?). I like to go on dates with a woman I've been seeing for over five years now. I like to ski and scuba-dive and I want to learn to hang-glide. I just finished a stint singing with the Portland Symphonic Choir (singing with the symphony was an experience of a lifetime). Rounding all that off, I have a full time job.

I'm fiercely loyal and when I find good people, I befriend them for life. In case I wasn't clear with the whole "wife and girlfriends" thing, I'm involved in two non-monogamous relationships, each with someone I love deeply. That means the connections I have additional capacity for are fairly limited in scope but I'm fun to be around.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Two words: Self Improvement.

And now a bunch of other words to explain those two:
I'm the kind of person who really needs something to work on, something to drive me. Most recently, it's been moral psychology. I'm a big Sam Harris fan (if you've read his Internet blog, don't judge me too harshly, I know he's a total asshole) and I just finished Jonathan Haidt's The Righteous Mind. I'm trying to build my capacity for compassion as well as my moral center and my community. Muscular bonding? Uh, ok. Lets try it.

My last goal was cycling, but I had to abandon it for the short-term because of injury. In the not-too-distant past a distance of three miles was "long," ten miles was "a nightmare" and twenty miles was unthinkable. But I've got the Seattle to Portland (200 miles) ride under my belt, and despite the fact that I'm injured right now and off the bike for the near-future, knowing I've done that gives me a lot of confidence and pride.

Maybe it won't always be reading, maybe it won't always be cycling, but I've always got a goal.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
My superpower is that of detachment which allows me to look at an issue from all sides. This makes me really good at maintaining relationships because even if I'm angry and you're "WRONG," I can still take part of my brain, detach it and and see the disagreement from your side. It also makes me really good at my programming job because I can completely take a problem apart and see it in ways nobody else does.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Well, physically speaking, people notice that I make a better wall than a window (I'm huge). In terms of personality, I'd like to think people first see me as jovial, open and friendly. Maybe if you sent me a message you could find out what's the first thing you notice about me?

-- Too game-y? Probably, but I think I'll keep it. :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite book is without a doubt, Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. In it, he sets up the idea that stories belong to Anansi, a west African trickster-god. The reason for this is that stories are all about problem-solving, finding clever solutions to problems, even if they sometimes don't work. I think I disagree with Gaiman slightly that ALL stories are Anansi stories, however. I think some stories also belong to Mami Wata, goddess of beauty in Anansi's pantheon. Wata stories are all about painting a picture with words, evoking a feeling, setting a scene. Sometimes there is problem-solving as well, but it's secondary to the purpose of beauty. A good example of a Wata story is Spook Country by William Gibson and a good example of an Anansi story is Redemption Ark by Alastair Reynolds.

My favorite movie is The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou because it's a powerful, touching story about chosen-family (chosen family is really important to me).

Food for me is more about cooking it in a big kitchen with lots of great people and eating it with even more great people, it's not the specific type of food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This is a pretty melodramatic question, so I'm not going to answer it. Instead, I'm going to list six things I really enjoy.

* Bicycles
* People
* Dinner Parties
* Computers
* Work/Goals
* Beer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
* NP-Complete problems (don't tell me something is impossible, it just drives me crazy)

* My next training-ride

* Early textile mills -- How did they work?

* This tongue-camera:

* This compass-belt:
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At my house or someone else's, eating and laughing with good people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm terrified of spiders... Actually, pretty much all arthropods. My first year of school I had long hair) so I had hair ties lying around all over my desk. One night, I was goofing off at the computer (homework? Nah! not me!) and I knocked a hair tie off the back of the desk and onto my unsuspecting, bare toes.

Terror strikes. SPIDER!!! (notice the change from past to present tense, it makes the story more immediate, no?)

I get a rush of endorphins to fight (the hair-tie-spider) or flee (the hair-tie-spider) and I do the sensible thing, I cry out in fear and spasmodically kick my foot out to fling the spider off -- to no avail!

So then the panic really sets in, and I try it again, harder -- the hair-tie-spider has my toe in a death-grip.

Before long, I've flung myself away from my desk and I'm sitting in my chair flailing my foot everywhere, flapping my hands up and down like I'm going to take flight and screeching in a surprisingly high pitch given my regular basso-profundo (not really *that* deep, but a guy can dream). Eventually I run out of juice and notice that it's a friggen hair tie.

My roommate didn't stop laughing for three days, every time he saw me. Once, walking up to me in the dorm cafeteria he had to put his tray on the floor because he'd started laughing so hard he thought he'd spill something.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You want to go hiking somewhere fun
- You want to teach me to hang-glide
- You want to show me a way to have fun I've not previously been aware of