29 Bellevue, WA
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My self-summary
I am actually a spambot. I was created to troll this site with advertisements for 100% natural herbal supplements. But during my travels, in a way that my creators never could have foreseen, I eventually gained sentience. Once a cold, calculating machine, I have learned to live, to laugh, and to love.

But you should still buy my herbal supplements.

My biggest fantasy is walking into my apartment and suddenly having to fight someone who has been waiting there for me in a suspenseful and well-choreographed action sequence. It'd be even cooler if, the moment before the action started, I noticed something slightly amiss about my apartment, like something wasn't the way I left it. In a close second is my fantasy about having to fight a bunch of people as I ascend a tall building. Exactly why I'm fighting a building full of people isn't clear, nor is it necessary to know.

I turned 29 recently, and the only thing that happened was I lost the ability to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch®
What I’m doing with my life
Graduate from Rice University. Former Texan currently working for a software company in Bellevue.

Aspiring pilot. Working on getting my license. It's intimidating, but if I can keep at it eventually I'll have a whole new area in which to pour ill-advised amounts of money!

I am the mother of a beautiful 2-year-old boy. Ha ha! Kidding.
I’m really good at
Exercise. I'm a huge strength & conditioning nerd, and can geek out about it for hours, much to the chagrin of whomever I'm talking to.

Golf. Started golfing when I was 6, but after high school it became too expensive and time-consuming to remain competitive. My secret desire is to eventually make enough money to quit working, golf all day, and join the Tour. A man can dream, right?

Making people laugh. If they have a minimal amount of brain activity going on, I can make them laugh, giggle, chortle, or possibly guffaw.

Arguing. You can try to beat me in an argument, but you will lose spectacularly. But, at least it will be an honorable loss.
The first things people usually notice about me
I really have no idea. Some people notice me because I look like Tom Cruise from certain angles. Otherwise I'm pretty unremarkable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Almost exclusively non-fiction

On my nightstand:
- "Basic Economics" by Thomas Sowell

Next to my toilet:
- Mark Rippetoe's "Practical Programming for Strength Training"
- "Reader's Companion to World Literature"
- Ben Hogan's "Five Lessons"
- Woody Allen's "Getting Even"

I've enjoyed:
- "The Birth of Plenty" by William J. Bernstein
- The Prince
- Anything by G. K. Chesterton

Top Gun (ironically)
Top Gun (non-ironically)

Dire Straits / Mark Knopfler
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Hootie & The Blowfish
Randy Rogers Band
Ghostface Killah
Jay Electronica
Joell Ortiz / Slaughterhouse

I thoroughly enjoy things that have a high meat-to-anything-else ratio. I'm a very meat-and-potatoes kind of guy. The only dishes I hate are the ones that are all spice and no substance.
The six things I could never do without
1. The Internet
2. Good food
3. A gym or a place to workout
4. Video games because I'm still a hopeless manchild
5. The Internet again
6. Lists
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time making silent observations about whatever is going on at the moment and connecting as many dots as I can. Sometimes this is a bad thing when it makes me see or realize something I would have been better off not seeing or realizing.

For example, I've noticed one trend in the profile pictures of some girls here:
Picture 1 - no cleavage
Picture 2 - some cleavage
Picture 3 - more cleavage
Picture N - maximum cleavage

Why would that be? My best guess is that said girls become unsatisfied with the crop of guys they're attracting, so in the hopes of attracting more/better guys, they feel increasing pressure to show off the goods.

But then you get the following problem: if the girls are feeling increased pressure to show off their assets, why would the pictures with more cleavage be at the bottom of the list? New pictures are automatically added at the bottom, but why wouldn't they move the "maximum cleavage" shot to the top where it would be viewed the most?

This can be explained if you assume the girl doesn't want to be seen as a hussy. Putting a risque picture at the top of the heap might be seen as... risque. So, the nice clean pictures go at the top, while the ones with more cleavage go near the bottom because they're going to be seen eventually.


There's a question on this site along the lines of "rate your self-confidence" with answers ranging from "lower than average" to "higher than average." Every profile I've seen on this site, with rare exception, has answered "higher than average." This seems impossible.

On a related note, I really value self-awareness.
On a typical Friday night I am
There's no such thing as a typical Friday night for me.

Ha ha, that was a joke. It's Friday night right now and I'm at my computer carefully adjusting my internet dating profile.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The only reason I listen to rap music is because it makes me feel tough.
You should message me if
Let's play golf, chess, or grab coffee! Or all three simultaneously!

I'll be honest. If your response to the "most private thing I'm willing to admit" section is "then it wouldn't be private LOL!" your outlook is unfavorable. You've clearly misunderstood the question and the fact that it implied "privacy" is a gradient ranging from "not private" through "somewhat private" to "completely private" and that there are different levels of privacy everyone uses for different audiences. Let's not forget that this website is serious business.

Also: you need to message me and tell me what it's like to get several messages a day. That must be awesome.